This may be the second thread I created with this topic.
Or third or fourth or fifth.
I am not going to get dark or say something to get it locked. Again.
Actually, you are. Barring mentioning hurting yourself, this is no different from the several previous threads or the hundreds of posts you've made on the subject of telling everyone how horrible you are.
As
Jake says, every time you do this people give you tons of good advice and affirmation and it doesn't make a bit of difference except to continue feeding your need to keep doing this. Nothing is going to change until you seek help from a mental health professional and stop using this site to publicly flog yourself.
I'm sorry this sounds harsh, but it feels extremely manipulative to keep putting people in the position of having to enable your continued self-loathing for fear that any kind of criticism of your behavior will cause you to further spiral out of control. A public forum is not filled with trained professionals who are equipped to deal with this, and those are the people you need to speak to, immediately. We've been telling you that continuously for over a year, at least.
Stop making self-destructive threads like this. It's not in your best interests, and it's unfair to the posters here as well. Not everyone knows your history, so if someone says something that sets you off you'll be laying a bunch of guilt on their shoulders.
Telling you that you are a good person and that you have friends and should stop beating up on yourself obviously doesn't make a difference, so I'll just say once again that you need to seek professional help, whether through individual counseling or group therapy or even just a hotline when you're feeling particularly down.
I'm closing the thread, but it's not because you're a bad person or anything like that. It's because these threads are bad for you and the other people involved.
