I Have No Friends

[Taylirious]

This may be the second thread I created with this topic.

I am not going to get dark or say something to get it locked. Again.

I have no friends. I have been working for 3 months and not only in the horror with my family but no on likes me or talks to me. I work with my brother now but he is a bully and people like him more than me.

Maybe I am a horrible person?

All I want in life is to be happy. I am nice to everyone I meet and no one cares. All the people I deal with in my daily life it seems I don't matter.

ETA: The people I considered friends in the past abandoned me when I wasn't working.

 

[RoJoHen]

Honestly, the only thing I know about you from your time on the board is that you seem really mopey and depressed all the time. I don't really know how to help you, but if you want friends, you need to make an effort to spend time with people.

 

[Taylirious]

I am a sad sack. I don't mean to be.

 

[RoJoHen]

Well, unfortunately, it's the vibe you're giving off. And if you're giving off that vibe in real life as well, people very likely won't want to be around you.

 

[Taylirious]

I will just be alone.

 

[Miss Chicken]

What are your interests? You need to find people who have similar interests to your own.

 

[Finn]

Something to ask about about those friends who "abandoned" you when you weren't working- How was your attitude around them? It's possible they found it hard to be around you due to the vibe you were giving off without realizing it like RoJoHen mentioned.

Other possibility is that when you weren't working, you may have changed some of your habits that made it easier to reduce social contact without realizing it, like saving money for one.

And just because you are nice doesn't mean you are presentable or approachable- both in appearance and in social settings. Being nice to everybody doesn't necessarily make people respect or appericate one. Find someone to talk about this.

 

[Taylirious]

Music - Listening/making, Art - enjoying/creating, Sports - watching but I enjoy playing certain sports.

ETA: I get down sometimes but it is usually because I am not doing what I love. "Friends" want to go out to clubs and bars. I hate that.

 

[Miss Chicken]

Are you are member of any sports or art groups?

 

[Taylirious]

Are you are member of any sports or art groups?

Not currently.

I should add going to concerts, sporting events or museums is something former friends didn't like but I loved.

 

[Miss Chicken]

There are plenty of people who do like those sorts of things. Maybe you could check if you local museum has a Friends of the Museum Society.

 

[Taylirious]

I will look into it but people in general don't like me. It is my fault but don't know how to fix it. I always try to be nice.

 

[Taylirious]

Something to ask about about those friends who "abandoned" you when you weren't working- How was your attitude around them? It's possible they found it hard to be around you due to the vibe you were giving off without realizing it like RoJoHen mentioned.

Other possibility is that when you weren't working, you may have changed some of your habits that made it easier to reduce social contact without realizing it, like saving money for one.

And just because you are nice doesn't mean you are presentable or approachable- both in appearance and in social settings. Being nice to everybody doesn't necessarily make people respect or appericate one. Find someone to talk about this.

I look like a goon.

 

[Miss Chicken]

If people don't like you it is possible that it is simply that you mix with the wrong sort of people.

 

[BigJake]

I don't believe TayLaLaLa is really seeking advice. They've received reams of it on past threads like this one -- along with the positive affirmation that perhaps is more the point -- and none of it appears to have any long-term impact.

For TayLaLaLa, if I had to guess, I'd say it is worth looking into whether you may be suffering from mental health difficulties. I know even mentioning "mental health" comes with a stigma in some quarters, but it really shouldn't -- the mind is as susceptible to injury and treatment as any muscle or bone -- and investigating that angle may be your best way forward here. If for example you're suffering from emotional dysregulation (bad mood swings, which I'm guessing is possible given your rapid alternations between peaks of apparent giddiness and troughs of scrawling "I am a loser and have no friends" all over the Board), feelings of abandonment, and a general conviction of personal worthlessness, it's possible -- though not definitive based on those symptoms alone -- you may be suffering from some form of "Borderline Personality Disorder" (which is terribly named and poorly understood but for which there are some forms of therapy which have provided relief for sufferers). Note that I'm not a psychiatrist and I'm not trying to diagnose you, just suggesting some possible things to think and talk to someone about.

I hope you find the help you need. I won't be engaging with any further threads or posts like this one -- since I feel like doing so is feeding into the cycle you seem to be trapped in at the moment -- but I will be wishing you well.

 

[Taylirious]

I will apologize because there are people online who are friends. Here and other sites. I love you.

ETA: @BigJake I don't need help. I need people in my RL not to be so shitty.

 

[hux]

Maybe see a doctor about depression/anxiety/BDD

There are countless forums for people experiencing the same thing. Sometimes just knowing there are others who feel the same helps. Plus those forums usually have a meet up section so you can make friends, get out more

 

[BigJake]

We love you too, mate. But I hope you do find someone in your life to talk to about what you're going through. Cycles of devaluation like what you seem to be experiencing are dangerous, and are also treatable.

 

[Finn]

And just because you are nice doesn't mean you are presentable or approachable- both in appearance and in social settings.

I look like a goon.

I'm talking about how you dress, how you carry yourself and your posture. Those things doesn't necessarily truly represent who you are, but can give people wrong impressions of you, even those who have been around you for a while.

Perhaps you are an introvert. There's nothing wrong with that. Your responses to Miss Chicken seemed to imply to me that your old friends are more of social drinkers which would explain why they go to clubs and bars but not concerts and sporting events. I don't know.

 

[Taylirious]

And just because you are nice doesn't mean you are presentable or approachable- both in appearance and in social settings.

I look like a goon.

I'm talking about how you dress, how you carry yourself and your posture. Those things doesn't necessarily truly represent who you are, but can give people wrong impressions of you, even those who have been around you for a while.

Perhaps you are an introvert. There's nothing wrong with that. Your responses to Miss Chicken seemed to imply to me that your old friends are more of social drinkers which would explain why they go to clubs and bars but not concerts and sporting events. I don't know.

They just liked picking up girls for sex.