I have bad news for you all. (SPOILERS!)

[Alrik]

...How do you feel?

A little hungry, to be honest. So when do I get my own FTL ship?

 

[The Castellan]

This wouldn't be that Earth-shattering. It's basically saying that hey, there are people out there better than us. And that a lot of them are human. And they'd be willing to help make us better.

I'd generally find this as a very reassuring development.


Nope, we're descended from Golgafrinchans.

I would not find any of this disturbing. In fact, I would find it....promising.

I would not be surprised if this was actually the case, as well. Seen alot of odd anomolies in this solar system that might suggest something akin to that.

What anomalies could POSSIBLY make you think that we aren't from good ol' Sol?

I'll give one word and be done with it.

Structures.

 

[iguana_tonante]

^ "Structures" of what?

 

[The Castellan]

^ "Structures" of what?

PM me, and I'll tell yas.

 

[gastrof]

I want a hamburger.

 

[Myasishchev]

It turns out that your planet Earth is not a real Earth. Your ansesctors were kidnapped and displaced onto the planet you currently refer to as "Earth," which in the rest of this message I will list as Sol III. In the last three centuries or so your societal development has faltered, to say the least.

The real humans on the real Earth managed to overcome their differences and build a unified world government; they also gave up the concept of 'money' and the sexes are equal. Their technology is more advanced; as you can see, they have starships capable of going much faster than the speed of light itself.

Since the time of your displacement to Sol III humanity has become a member of an organization of different alein species who live together in harmony. If you'd like, the Federation would like to open diplomatic relationships with you backwards, backwards people. If not, the Federation will leave you alone. We would like to educate on how seriously out of touch you are with the universe.


...How do you feel?

Like you're violating the Prime Directive. You'll take my nukes from my cold dead hands, future man.

Seriously, I actually rather like this. It's far more brilliant than, say, Miri or Bread and Circuses. I'm surprised as hell it wasn't the premise of one of the counter-Earth episodes of TOS instead of the ones we got.

On the other hand, it's difficult to ignore the fossil and geological records. This planet's been here for some time, and we're demonstrably descended from its early life forms. Did BSGod fake that here too?

 

[Myasishchev]

So we're not descended from Cylons?

Nope - but our oldest common female ancestor was a Cylon/Human hybrid.

Most recent, not oldest, and this was Boomer, not Hera.

 

[FinalFrontier]

^ "Structures" of what?

PM me, and I'll tell yas.

I can't PM yet.

 

[ALF]

Where's the bad news?
It all sounds like good news to me.

 

[DevilEyes]

So we're not descended from Cylons?

Nope - but our oldest common female ancestor was a Cylon/Human hybrid.

Most recent, not oldest, and this was Boomer, not Hera.

<nitpick>Athena, not Boomer.</nitpick>

Cylons are individuals, they're not the same just because they're the same model.

 

[Myasishchev]

Nope - but our oldest common female ancestor was a Cylon/Human hybrid.

Most recent, not oldest, and this was Boomer, not Hera.

<nitpick>Athena, not Boomer.</nitpick>

Cylons are individuals, they're not the same just because they're the same model.

Heh, yeah, I got them confused.

 

[T'Girl]

If the real earth humans "managed to overcome their differences" and humans "live together in harmony" then why would they need to have a "unified world government" at all? Answer that one superior attitude sky guy.

... they also gave up the concept of 'money' and the sexes are equal.

Did you what to rephrase that -- or are you trying to tell us something?

 

[Temis the Vorta]

Back slooowly away from your nuBSG DVDs.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

It's a COOKBOOK!

 

[Myasishchev]

Back slooowly away from your nuBSG DVDs.

Why, because safety concerns suggest that I should be a certain distance from a burning pile of plastic?

 

[OldManDax]

Newspaper Taxi sounds like an evolutionist hanging out on TNZ lol. All he needs to do is elaborate in depth about how us believers are merely deluded, pathetic souls desperately hanging on to some discredited mythology in the face of the glorious light of scientific and rationalist enlightment. Come on, Newspaper Taxi, do it (keep in mind i'm aware that the original post is kind of tongue in cheek...but it still sounds like a TNZ'er ).

 

[Nevyn]

Is this the start of a fanfic or something?

 

[Brannigan]

I know how this thread will end: *sings* "Oh my God I was wrong, it was Earth all along. I guess you've made a monkey out of meeeee!"

 

[Volpone_the_Fox]

"I deny your reality and subtitute my own!"

 

[Roshi]