I found a dead person in the dumpster at my work.

[TheBrew]

I want my ashes to be placed in a coffee can. That's as fancy as I need.

I want my friends to go bowling in my honor.

 

[scotpens]

No Soylent Green jokes yet?

Why would that creep you out all day? It's a jar of ash.

I guess in theory it shouldn't, since I have someone's ashes at home. But, remains are just a very odd thing to stumble across early in the morning (unless you live in Detroit).

Or unless you're jogging in the local park. Joggers run across dead bodies all the time.

Joggers and Dead Bodies

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

Or unless you're jogging in the local park. Joggers run across dead bodies all the time.

Joggers and Dead Bodies

Aren't they usually the bodies of other joggers?

(No sound here, so I'll watch the video later.)

 

[sidious618]

Sorry 'bout that. I'll use another dumpster next time.

 

[Haggis and tatties]

Medical experiments for me, i like the thought that i might be of more use when I'm dead than i was alive.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Dumping remains like that...Some people are just ash-holes, I guess.

 

[Ablative_Oberth]

This thread has a serious lack of trauma-inducing horror.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ I don't know if I could answer that question. Perhaps you should ash-k someone else.

 

[Marie1]

Are you sure it was a human, or a pet with a human's name? Some people are pretty obsessed with their pets, and maybe someone thought they needed to move on.

The birth year and death year were engraved, 1920-something to 2000-something. Not too many pets live to almost 80. Parrots? Those giant turtles?

Not very nice but... like others have said, it's not as bad as an actual corpse, which is what I assumed when I entered the thread.

Gotta use sensational titles if you wanna sell papers.

^
Tru dat.

Well, if the pet did live to be 80, then the urn makes sense...

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

This all sounds like a bit of a soap opera, to be honest. Ash the World Turns...

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

This thread has a serious lack of trauma-inducing horror.

Perhaps we could get Squiggy to post a picture of his bare ass?

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Try posting it in Craigs List Rants and raves with something like
"I hope their spirit come back and haunts your lowlife ass ..."
maybe someone will spot it and rat the person out.?
Just a thought?

 

[Angela 0077]

Yes that would have been a surprising find.
Did you report it to the police so they could find the owner.
I am surprised that someone would do this

 

[Kail]

I found an actual corpse once. We were walking in the park, and strolled under a bridge, and there he was. Must have jumped because his heels were touching the back of his head. Quite an experience.

 

[Angela 0077]

My mum was visiting a freind
Well this day she went over and seen him slumped on the floor he was quite old and she couldnt get through the door so she was able to climb through a window.
She thought he had passed out but he was not breathing he had been there for quite a while.
She said you could see all the rigor mortis on one side of the body.
She was quite upset seeing this

 

[Spot's Meow]

I think it's obvious that the ashes are cursed. If I were you I would stay far away from them. Actually, it's probably too late for you. You may still be able to save your boss though.

 

[broberfett]

In Belgium they are just gonna wash the people down the drain, right into the sewer.

"We are here today to honor the memory of...What's his name? Ah, screw it, it doesn't matter anyway, just push the lever already.[flush]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/wor...als-dissolve-bodies-flush-sewage-systems.html

 

[TeaKirk]

My restaurant is located along the banks of the Mississippi River. A few years ago, a dead body washed up on shore right outside of our patio. That was creepy.

*Shudders* I bet

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

In Belgium they are just gonna wash the people down the drain, right into the sewer.

"We are here today to honor the memory of...What's his name? Ah, screw it, it doesn't matter anyway, just push the lever already.[flush]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/wor...als-dissolve-bodies-flush-sewage-systems.html

Note to self: Do not die in Belgium.

What the hell, I guess Soylent Green really WILL be people. Read this bit:

The end result is a small quantity of green-brown tinted liquid containing amino acids, peptides, sugars and salts and soft, porous white bone remains which are easily crushed.
The white ash can then be returned to the next of kin of the deceased.
The liquid can be recycled back to the ecosystem by being applied to a memorial garden or forest or simply put into the sewerage system.

Once again:

 

[Bears Discover Fire]

My restaurant is located along the banks of the Mississippi River. A few years ago, a dead body washed up on shore right outside of our patio. That was creepy.

*Shudders* I bet

Reminds me of the guy who committed suicide on the train tracks next to my dad's business. Body parts and various fluids all over the parking lot.