I forgot how to spell clitoris.

[bryce]

During a regularily metered conversation of mine, well, rant, my son paused me to ask his pa what he meant by the word "clitoris" and I was agog that there was such a gap in his education by the dizzying age of thirteen, so I rose to his level and asked the blonde sknny thing how many times he had watched the Southpark movie? Many, many, many times he replied, claiming it was the "the shit" but what did that have to do with the price of fish, afetrwhich i reminded him how (ignoring the obvious wit about scent.) Stan was sent on a Tolkenian quest by Chef to find the clitoris, but he grimaced at me like I was speaking Martian, so I switched tac & went textbook on the kid "There is a bundle of nerves compressed into a magic pleasure button at the top of a womans - " Rightly so, with a thumb in each ear, the fruit of loins walked away perfering ignorance over listening to my twaddle.

Next time tell him, "See women have this teeney tiny penis..."

 

[Guy Gardener]

So, does knowing how to spell it directly help one to find it and know how to use it...?

Spell no, smell yes.

Well, knowing it exist and being able to find it are two entirely different things.

Hey! It kind of like that scene from Titanic. The little man is standing in the bow of the boat,
it isn't rocket science.

For this crowd, maybe this is a better visual guide.



Watch out for 1, though. Looks like an abcess in the Bartholin gland!

Image from Ex Astris.

Holy Howdy Doody! That picture totally reminds me of the gag on friends when Monica is teaching Chandler how to do oral for the Girlfriend he stole off Joey.

During a regularily metered conversation of mine, well, rant, my son paused me to ask his pa what he meant by the word "clitoris" and I was agog that there was such a gap in his education by the dizzying age of thirteen, so I rose to his level and asked the blonde sknny thing how many times he had watched the Southpark movie? Many, many, many times he replied, claiming it was the "the shit" but what did that have to do with the price of fish, afetrwhich i reminded him how (ignoring the obvious wit about scent.) Stan was sent on a Tolkenian quest by Chef to find the clitoris, but he grimaced at me like I was speaking Martian, so I switched tac & went textbook on the kid "There is a bundle of nerves compressed into a magic pleasure button at the top of a womans - " Rightly so, with a thumb in each ear, the fruit of loins walked away perfering ignorance over listening to my twaddle.

Next time tell him, "See women have this teeney tiny penis..."

He has to have seen his mothers penis at some point.

 

[Ruaidhri]

I think you mean "twottle" unless you're being mean.

Spelling aside since they're both barely real words, a twat is an idiot and a twot is a vagina. I did consider some alliteration but the entire piece was a little heavy and running a shy too long as it was.

Not trying to be mean, just making a poor attempt at humor. Sorry man, where I come from "twat" is the spelling. At least, insofar as sexual slang has defined spellings. You say to-MAY-to I say to-MAH-to.

 

[Flavius]

Now, how do you spell G-Spot - which or without the hyphen?

 

[Myasishchev]

^Without the hymen.

 

[Guy Gardener]

The Roman God of Marriage and Unity?

 

[T'Girl]

Watch out for 1, though. Looks like an abcess in the Bartholin gland!

If she been drinking a lot of beer, you might also want to be mindful of number 4.

 

[Guy Gardener]

When I'm drinking, I'm lucky not to go right off that map there and slide into fourth base.

 

[T'Girl]

go right off that map there and slide into fourth base.

some girls are into that.

 

[Myasishchev]

If she been drinking a lot of beer, you might also want to be mindful of number 4.

According to the documentary footage I've seen, that just means she really enjoys it.

 

[T'Girl]

"documentary footage"
??????????????????????

 

[Guy Gardener]

Plenty of cocumentaries out there.

Boring ass analytical dry talk about sex by near-ugly people incapable of verve.

 

[Python Trek]

Cleese: What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Start her off with a nice kiss, before you go stampeding for the clitoris!

Palin: Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.

 

[Myasishchev]

Plenty of cocumentaries out there.

Boring ass analytical dry talk about sex by near-ugly people incapable of verve.

Nothing "dry" about the footage I've seen.

 

[barnaclelapse]

"Dry"

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

Ahhhh...

(Wipes tear away)

I don't get it.

 

[Myasishchev]

I don't either.

 

[Guy Gardener]

But... it ... was... your... joke.

 

[Myasishchev]

Actually, at this point I'm confused because I can't tell whether people got the reference--squirting videos ("documentaries") widely understood to feature false female ejaculation in the form of urine ("If she been drinking a lot of beer, you might also want to be mindful of number 4").

But, like they say, if you have to explain your joke, your audience doesn't watch enough porn.

 

[Guy Gardener]

No one watches enough porn.