I feel down in the dumps

[Gingerbread Demon]

In fact a little like I'm sitting in the dumpster even.

OK long story cut short, I was born with a few medical conditions such as congenital cataracts and such which were operated on when I was quite small and as a result I have had to wear thick as in heavy glasses for nearly most of my adult life. Also because of the cataracts I have nystagmus, and in my case it's noticeable. Never bothered me as a kid or growing up as a teenager / young adult but lately it's been bugging me a bit and depressing me.

I guess it has bugged me because in 2007 I went to the extreme of having permanent implants which attach to my irises to replace my glasses. It hasn't improved my vision as such as I still have to wear a sort of thick pair of glasses for reading and stuff, and I still can't drive as my vision is about the same as when I had the bifocals. I've just removed the need for distance glasses and only have the pair for reading.

I go out, I socialize, and I meet people. I have no problems with people I actually know but lately it's just I notice when walking in the city or such people look at you in a funny kind of way, especially if you make eye contact. That funny sort of "are you OK" look, or they look at you as if you're less then normal.

I don't know I just feel a bit down in the dumps of late..

 

[Finn]

My two cents...if it wasn't an issue in your teenager years, it's probably something else OR a part of you might be trying to come up with something to hold you back and picked this. You may be overthinking this and attributing it to your cataractic issues.

 

[Gingerbread Demon]

My two cents...if it wasn't an issue in your teenager years, it's probably something else OR a part of you might be trying to come up with something to hold you back and picked this. You may be overthinking this and attributing it to your cataractic issues.

Probably it's just never gotten to me like that before..... I'd just never noticed it or cared, and I don't know if hitting the big 5 0h has made me notice it more, and that I am still single. The closest I got to being married was when I was 21 and I had this fantastic girl I was friends with, but she chose to be with her family and not get hitched. I think I just solved part of the problem. I felt better over the last couple of days, just I go through these periods and notice things. Makes me feel much like the other.

 

[ichab]

We all go through them. If still being single bothers you look around at all the married or coupled people near you who went down that road and are miserable. I deal with them on a daily basis. There's something to be said for coming home to your own quiet place and not having to deal with drama.

 

[Gingerbread Demon]

We all go through them. If still being single bothers you look around at all the married or coupled people near you who went down that road and are miserable. I deal with them on a daily basis. There's something to be said for coming home to your own quiet place and not having to deal with drama.

Oh I don't mind the alone part, my home is my castle....... I like it. It's just that feeling when people look at you funny for something beyond your control.

 

[Nyotarules]

How are you doing today?

 

[Gingerbread Demon]

How are you doing today?

I feel good.. I went out bought a couple of DVDs and yeah I feel good.

 

[Nyotarules]

I feel good.. I went out bought a couple of DVDs and yeah I feel good.

 

[Jayson1]

I hope you feel better Coco Pops. I can relate. I'm a super fat 40 year old virgin with no friends. Life seems unfair at times. the best way I would suggest to handle is find something you love and try to achieve it as best you can. Sometimes just trying is enough. You don't even have to be good at what you love to do. the effort is it's own reward.

Jason

 

[Nyotarules]

I hope you feel better Coco Pops. I can relate. I'm a super fat 40 year old virgin with no friends. Life seems unfair at times. the best way I would suggest to handle is find something you love and try to achieve it as best you can. Sometimes just trying is enough. You don't even have to be good at what you love to do. the effort is it's own reward.

Jason

Do you go walking every day? Have you considered staring a meet up group for something you enjoy? Life is what you make it to be, you only get one go.

 

[thestrangequark]

I think I get it, @Coco Pops 1967 -- it's burnout. I've gone through the same thing with diabetes. I diagnosed as type 1 when I was twelve. I was fine with it through my teen and young adult years, and finally experienced my first burnout at 26. I just became exhausted and overwhelmed by the disease. I didn't want to deal with it anymore, and it made me depressed. Later, as I met other diabetics online I discovered burnout is a common phenomenon, and I suspect it's so for most people with some kind of chronic illness or disability. Burnout happens, but the good thing is that it's not permanent.

 

[Jayson1]

Do you go walking every day? Have you considered staring a meet up group for something you enjoy? Life is what you make it to be, you only get one go.

I have started walking but I can only handle 10 minutes a day. I also plan to join some support groups to help with my OCD and depression but I got to get my insurance taken care of first.

The thing I would love to do most is to join some sci-fi fan club or something like that but there is nothing like that here. I guess people in Oklahoma just don't care that much about stuff like that.
I also use to like writing. When i was in college I was not that bad. It was like the one thing I did okay in. It's been so long though I feel real rusty, plus it doesn't help that I have always been better at story and ideas and less on dialogue. I don't know how people talk because i'm not exactly the most normal person around.
Jason

 

[Nyotarules]

Jason 10 minutes is better than nothing its a good start. As for the writing try your hand at fanfic, don't worry about dialogue it will come. Use what you hear on tv as a start.
I have written some Star Trek FF stories that are fluffy, romantic tosh but its exercise for my brains and I enjoy it. Write for yourself and not for anyone else.

 

[Jayson1]

Jason 10 minutes is better than nothing its a good start. As for the writing try your hand at fanfic, don't worry about dialogue it will come. Use what you hear on tv as a start.
I have written some Star Trek FF stories that are fluffy, romantic tosh but its exercise for my brains and I enjoy it. Write for yourself and not for anyone else.

I do plan on writing again now that I actually got a computer to use. It's proably not to healthy that the first thing I wanted to write about is my own death. Still it's a start.

Jason

 

[Nyotarules]

I do plan on writing again now that I actually got a computer to use. It's proably not to healthy that the first thing I wanted to write about is my own death. Still it's a start.

Jason

Change the name from Jason to someone else. Or write the ST version of Jason and the Star Trek Argonauts

 

[Jayson1]

Change the name from Jason to someone else. Or write the ST version of Jason and the Star Trek Argonauts

I was thinking more along the lines of me getting my head stuck in a toliet while I beg a monkey to flush the water so I don't drown but the little brat just takes off and I die. 10 minutes later Sarah Dolezal, the girl I had a huge crush on in high school walks in ready to confess her love only to see me in my horrible dead state.
that's how I want to die. so embarising people feel intense shame and guilt at laughing at it. That or I die being a hero by jumping in front of a bullit to save someones life.

Jason

 

[Gryffindorian]

Yeah, I believe most people have had days like these. My anxiety got worse last year after having been on Prozac for over a decade. However, with the increase in dosage, I felt significantly better, and I'm practicing mindful meditation every day. I highly recommend it.

 

[Long Syntax]

Life is what you make it to be, you only get one go.

An important point to remember every day.

 

[Jayson1]

Yeah, I believe most people have had days like these. My anxiety got worse last year after having been on Prozac for over a decade. However, with the increase in dosage, I felt significantly better, and I'm practicing mindful meditation every day. I highly recommend it.

You got to be real careful with Prozac. With me it started giving me panic attacks so bad I could barely leave the house. I went impatient alot because of it. Do you ever feel paranoid around people? If so it might be that drug.

Jason

 

[rhubarbodendron]

{{{{{{{Coco Pops}}}}}}} don't worry, it's just a mild attack of midlife crisis. It'll get better after a while.
And never mind the staring people. If they just go after the exterior and don't realize what a nice person you are it's their loss, not yours.

Jayson, you just did join a Trek club And teh big advantage is that due to the time difference between our respective countries there's always someone here to chat with.
Jayson and the Stargonauts sounds like a cool idea for a fanfic to me!
As for the prozac: have a word with your doc. It's a rather rare side effect and he should either reduce the dose till this side effect stops or change you to a different chemical alltogether. I'd recommend the latter.