I did something bad with a 16 yr old and dope

[K'Ehleyr]

^Yes, but it's not too late to say STOP!

Yes, I used from 16-21. Yes, my short term memory sucks now. Yes, pot is harmful, plain and simple (not for gateway claims or anything else...it is NOT PURE! Drug dealers cut it with crap like formeldahyde!)

You are his mother. Get him to stop. 16 is not old enough to make decisions like this, his pre-frontal cortex is not developed (the part of the brain that makes rational decisions and foresees consequences for actions). You need to be his pre-frontal cortex right now. He guaranteed will not like you for it now, but later will thank you.

My son is a tween, but when he gets there, I know if I'm faced with this, my son will hate me for a bit (as I keep him home and limit access to his friends to build trust so that he doesn't break that trust again by using) but I will do what I have to to protect him until he is old enough to make his own decisons.

Oh God if only it were so easy!
At the moment it is up to school to monitor him, which they seem to be failing at. When he is at home all I can do is ask where he is going and who with. I cannot chain him to his bed. I'm not worried about being the Dragon and have been by threatening him with the police but he is 16 which legally means he can leave home whenever he likes. So I cannot come down with the ultimatum!
How did your parents deal with your situation?

 

[Misfit Toy]

most of the time mine runs along the lines of 'read, watched TV, wrote fan-fic. work. average'.

So it's a paper version of Twitter?

 

[SicOne]

I'm not worried about being the Dragon and have been by threatening him with the police but he is 16 which legally means he can leave home whenever he likes. So I cannot come down with the ultimatum!
How did your parents deal with your situation?[/QUOTE]

My stepfather, 1982..."Can't follow my rules? Get the fuck out." I caved, but if he does not, a few days or weeks on the mean streets after whatever friends he shacks up with get tired of the arrangement and kick him out, and he'll come back humble as a little puppy. Teenagers get used to a warm bed and three square meals a day and someone vacuuming up after them. He's been the center of your universe since birth, so finding himself stripped of that may have significant shock value. You'll be dead with fright and worry, but sometimes a little investment of such on your time will pay big dividends.

 

[Red Ranger]

I'm still dark, but sad, no. I got over that teenage depression when I realized being funny, cynical, and dark is much more satisfying.

It's no wonder you're enamored of the movie The Professional! -- RR

I'd like to thank my father for exposing me to the violence in that movie at the tender age of 12. Is hitman apprentice to Jean Reno a legitimate professional aspiration?

The answer to your last question is, "Yes!" I was also exposed to violent movies at a young age, around 12 or 13 when I first saw such raw flicks as The Godfather and Lady Sings the Blues, where there's a scene where Richard Pryor's character is beaten to death. Some weed might've helped! -- RR

 

[Neeka Keet]

^We have too many similarities. If you love "The Warriors" then it would go into creepy territory.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

I'm not worried about being the Dragon and have been by threatening him with the police but he is 16 which legally means he can leave home whenever he likes. So I cannot come down with the ultimatum!
How did your parents deal with your situation?

My stepfather, 1982..."Can't follow my rules? Get the fuck out." I caved, but if he does not, a few days or weeks on the mean streets after whatever friends he shacks up with get tired of the arrangement and kick him out, and he'll come back humble as a little puppy. Teenagers get used to a warm bed and three square meals a day and someone vacuuming up after them. He's been the center of your universe since birth, so finding himself stripped of that may have significant shock value. You'll be dead with fright and worry, but sometimes a little investment of such on your time will pay big dividends.

I am going to lay down to rules ~ once the GCSEs are out of the way he'll be back at home full time and 'I'll be taking no shit'
As you can see from the changed avatar I look scarey enough without having to pretend to be K'ehleyr!
So go to 'it's me' - avatar thread and let's all let our shields down

 

[Neeka Keet]

^That's what you do. Teenagers function well on ultimatums, unless they're completely insane. But I must say, poor kid, and thank goodness I'm not a teenager anymore.

 

[Red Ranger]

^We have too many similarities. If you love "The Warriors" then it would go into creepy territory.

Be prepared to enter creepy territory! "WAR-RI-ORS, COME OUT TO PLA-AAY! WAR-RI-ORS, COME OUT TO PLA-AAY! WAR-RI-ORS, COME OUT TO PLA-AAY!" Supposedly, it's loosely based on the legend of the 300 at Thermopylae. I like The 300 a little better, though. "THIS . . . IS . . . SPAAAARRRTTAAA!" When you come to NY, we have to smoke some doobies together! -- RR

 

[Jenee]

So go to 'it's me' - avatar thread and let's all let our shields down

ehh... I tried, but no one wants to photoshop me dancing ...

I suppose I could come up witha picture ...

 

[K-Star]

I never really kept a diary... I'd tried to start a few times but then never remember to continue (and my little brother found it and read it one time... talk about embarrassing!)

I keep all my stuff in my head now , or express it through other means (usually resulting in password-protected Word documents... and I make damn sure I don't use the same password I use for everything else since my family knows that one!)

 

[Misfit Toy]

So go to 'it's me' - avatar thread and let's all let our shields down

ehh... I tried, but no one wants to photoshop me dancing ...

I suppose I could come up witha picture ...

It's a great pic, Jenee!

 

[Jenee]

Thanks. Where's yours?

 

[Neeka Keet]

^We have too many similarities. If you love "The Warriors" then it would go into creepy territory.

Be prepared to enter creepy territory! "WAR-RI-ORS, COME OUT TO PLA-AAY! WAR-RI-ORS, COME OUT TO PLA-AAY! WAR-RI-ORS, COME OUT TO PLA-AAY!" Supposedly, it's loosely based on the legend of the 300 at Thermopylae. I like The 300 a little better, though. "THIS . . . IS . . . SPAAAARRRTTAAA!" When you come to NY, we have to smoke some doobies together! -- RR

*dead*

I'll take you up on that offer as soon as possible.

 

[CaptainStoner]

I'm not worried about being the Dragon and have been by threatening him with the police but he is 16 which legally means he can leave home whenever he likes. So I cannot come down with the ultimatum!
How did your parents deal with your situation?

My stepfather, 1982..."Can't follow my rules? Get the fuck out." I caved, but if he does not, a few days or weeks on the mean streets after whatever friends he shacks up with get tired of the arrangement and kick him out, and he'll come back humble as a little puppy. Teenagers get used to a warm bed and three square meals a day and someone vacuuming up after them. He's been the center of your universe since birth, so finding himself stripped of that may have significant shock value. You'll be dead with fright and worry, but sometimes a little investment of such on your time will pay big dividends.[/QUOTE]

My parents tried the ultimatum method with my brother. I think it was a total fail. What the fuck kind of parent kicks a 16-year old boy out on the street? Doubt any would do that to a 16-year old girl, and boys are 2 years behind girls in some mental development.
Well, my brother left at 16, and that was it. End of childhood. For him, and in some ways for me, and I was 12.
Threatening an entirely unjust legal system on the kid is pretty stupid. Don't get me wrong. I would vigorously dissuade him, monitor him, be a pain in the ass. But threaten the police? That's a breach. There's a good chance it will only increase alienation, and reduce your relevance.

Best of luck..

 

[Red Ranger]

^We have too many similarities. If you love "The Warriors" then it would go into creepy territory.

Be prepared to enter creepy territory! "WAR-RI-ORS, COME OUT TO PLA-AAY! WAR-RI-ORS, COME OUT TO PLA-AAY! WAR-RI-ORS, COME OUT TO PLA-AAY!" Supposedly, it's loosely based on the legend of the 300 at Thermopylae. I like The 300 a little better, though. "THIS . . . IS . . . SPAAAARRRTTAAA!" When you come to NY, we have to smoke some doobies together! -- RR

*dead*

I'll take you up on that offer as soon as possible.

Strong buy! -- RR

 

[NickInABox]

Dear all of the cool moms in this thread. Adopt me please? Rofl.

 

[sidious618]

My parents tried the ultimatum method with my brother. I think it was a total fail. What the fuck kind of parent kicks a 16-year old boy out on the street? Doubt any would do that to a 16-year old girl, and boys are 2 years behind girls in some mental development.
Well, my brother left at 16, and that was it. End of childhood. For him, and in some ways for me, and I was 12.
Threatening an entirely unjust legal system on the kid is pretty stupid. Don't get me wrong. I would vigorously dissuade him, monitor him, be a pain in the ass. But threaten the police? That's a breach. There's a good chance it will only increase alienation, and reduce your relevance.

Best of luck..

You're completely correct.

 

[Australis]

I don't get the weird "oo, boy keeps diary shock" either.

Think of it as an offline, paper blog.

 

[Pingfah]

I don't think it is weird for a 16 year old boy to want to keep a diary. It is definitely unusual for one to have to the motivation and discipline to do so successfully though.

 

[iguana_tonante]

When did the tone of the thread changed from "keep your eyes open but don't worry" to "call the police and kick him out on the streets?"


And I must confess a bit of shock value of a 16 yo boy keeping a diary, not for the gender association, but because at 16 I was too busy studying, getting blind drunk and worrying about my penis to have time to keep a diary!