I am annoyed with a friend

[Zulu Romeo]

Not craziness but I think she is slightly socially inept. From her early twenties to her early thirties she stayed home and looked after her Mum who had Parkinsons Disease. As a result Tania is old-maidish even though she is 7 years younger than me.

Maybe she was out of her comfort zone? However this wasn't an upmarket restaurant, it was a family bistro at a local hotel.

Sounds like she's lived quite a sheltered lifestyle all in all, perhaps to an extreme extent that she's afraid to try new things - unwilling to extend her limited taste in food. If she agreed to go out with you more often, you could help broaden her horizons and widen her appreciation of new things. She might even enjoy it.

 

[Aurian]

tender pocketed chicken breast filled with spinach, semi-dried tomatoes and
fetta with a garlic cream sauce served on green beans… $23

yummy yummy yummy..

raspberry and lemon sorbet…
Happy now!


I would have absolutly no problem founding stuff to eat from that menue, and I am rather difficult to please since I have a problem with overly fatty foods.

 

[Australis]

Miss C, 3 things:

1 - if she didn't have a good time it's HER fault, not yours.

2 - you eat a damn sight better than she does, so you'll experience food in a more pleasurable way. Fast food is good for fast and little else.

3 - most of what menu was goooood.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Hmmm, pate and pocketed chicken for me

You have every right to be annoyed and upset with your friend. It was incredibly bad mannered of her to complain about everything and to make the point of just sitting there with water. I'm sure she could have picked something from the gourmet bar just to make an effort. You made the effort to change to day to fit her in and as a previous poster pointed out it was a social occasion to enjoy being with friends and IMO she ruined it. Perhaps she was just having an off day but she needs to realise that she affected everyone else's enjoyment, yours especially. Belated Birthday greetings to you BTW

My bf's sister is in her 40's, single and quiet - looks after her Dad a lot, sounds similar to your friend. Helen came to a home dinner party for my birthday last year. There were 7 of us and although she was quiet she tried her best to join in and everyone did their best to make her welcome and comfortable. This year she has declined the invitation but saying, quite honestly, that she was a bit overwhelmed and didn't want to 'put a dampener on the evening'. I appreciate her decision and glad that she was truthful with me. If only she didn't live just out of town and had to drive I reckon after a couple of glasses of wine she would have relaxed, but we can't force someone to have a good time.

I'd think twice about inviting your friend next time. Why waste good money eating out if the atmosphere is ruined?!

 

[Crusher Disciple]

Well, it's your birthday. So you get to pick the place.

That said, my father's pulled this rude shit all my life, even to the point of whining rudely to the waiters about his food. He grumbles under his breath and his usual complaint is that the food is "too hot." He claims that he's allergic to pepper, but the truth is he's a spoiled brat.

He grew up with my grandmother who indulged him whenever he threw a fit and didn't like the food. Her coddling and spoilling him led him to believe that the rest of the world owes him a living. And my mother never stood up and told him to get over himself and stop whining.

I've reached the point that I don't go out to eat with him, and when he starts whining I tell him to shut the fuck up. I took him to my favorite places here in Austin, and he acted such an ass that I had to apologize to the waiter and beg them not to take it out on the rest of us.

Friends, however, I can pick. Whenever I'm out with someone and they act that way, I tell them to STFU and resolve never to go out to eat with them again.

 

[USS Triumphant]

She could have ordered the Tempura Chicken with Honey Ginger Glaze, asked them to hold the glaze, and asked for some honey mustard dressing or some other dipping sauce. Or, she could have ordered the Beef and Broccoli ... and asked them to hold the broccoli.

I'm an extraordinarily picky eater, but I've adapted - almost every restaurant has a choice on their menu that is a fallback for people like me, or is if I ask them to hold something off of it.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Invite her round to yours next time for Broccoli and Spinach Thai Curry with garlic and ginger *evil laugh*

 

[John Clark]

I'm an extraordinarily picky eater, but I've adapted - almost every restaurant has a choice on their menu that is a fallback for people like me, or is if I ask them to hold something off of it.

Ditto.

Even if there was absolutely nothing on that menu I'd like, I'd still make the effort. On that menu, there looks to be some very nice choices though

 

[archeryguy1701]

I would have been highly annoyed as well. When you're invited to go out and eat with someone, unless you genuinely aren't hungry and are just there for the companionship, it's polite to order something. Even if I don't like anything on the menu, I still pick out something that I don't hate. At a bare minimum, she shouldn't have complained about everything.

My dad is a problem child to eat with. He goes in with the expectation that he will like whatever he orders and if he doesn't, even if there's nothing wrong with it, he will get on the waiter's case. He says it's because we "deserve a certain level of service." Unfortunately, I wasn't aware that the level of service involved knowing our prefered tastes and getting us to avoid what we may not like.

 

[Spot's Meow]

I can believe that she didn't like anything on the menu, because I don't either. However, I would NEVER have just sat there with ice water. I would probably have ordered the chicken and just tried to scrape the sauce off. I am a very picky eater but there is always something on the menu that I can adjust to taste better. Such as taking off tomatoes, sauces, onions, etc. It was your birthday, I would have eaten something for you. It REALLY irritates me when I go to a restaurant with someone and they don't eat. I really hate being the only one eating while they sit there. Plus, I see eating as a shared experience. And if someone in the group isn't eating it takes away from that.

I would have had no problem choosing a dessert though! I'd want them all.

What probably happened is that she saw that there was nothing on the menu that she really wanted so she decided that she was going to eat something she really likes when she got home. So, she didn't order anything at the restaurant, including dessert, because she didn't want to ruin her appetite for the meal she would be eating after she left. It's logical, but it's still rude.

 

[An Officer]

I would have gone for the "Off shore selection" and skipped a starter and "sweets", as it looks like it could be a big and filling dish.

Perfectly decent menu in my opinion. I guess she was in a royally bad mood, and had the ill manners of turning up on your birthday with it. If I were feeling that bad, I would have stayed home and canceled with sincere apologies, rather than ruin a special day for someone.

Sorry this happened to you... I'm sure you'll have forgotten about it soon enough... and maybe she'll take you aside and say something about why she behaved that way.

EDIT: Just because she earns 3 times more than you do, doesn't mean she can't be a stingy so and so... maybe she did some math in her head and decided that with the same money, she could buy 5 Kentucky Fried meals instead... weird, but so rude! If you politely tell her she upset you, maybe she'll think twice next time? If she's a long-term carer, she must be a nice person on some level... I agree with those who say she might not have realised she was doing anything wrong.

 

[freak]

WOW! That menu sounds really yummy!!! Your friend was being really unreasonable and stubborn when it came to the menu. She was trying to ruin it for everyone. But I agree with what some of the posters have said so far-some people are just impossible to please no matter what you try to do to ease them. Next time, don't invite the dimwit. If it were me, I'd FIND something I would like to try! And not just order ice water! COME ON..that's disrespectful!

 

[auntiehill]

Sounds like she was just throwing a tantrum, which is pretty damn rude and thoughtless, considering you went out of your way to accommodate her with the schedule.

Even if she didn't want to eat, she should have just smiled and shut the hell up.

If I were you, I wouldn't invite her out next time.

 

[An Officer]

That's what my 5 year old sister does, if she can't have exactly what she wants, she'll have nothing at all... but even she comes round after a few minutes of reasoning. Tanya is perhaps more immature than "socially inept"... finding difficulties interacting in social situations does not mean you've taken leave of all your senses, it probably means you think about everything much more than others do, actually. Quiet, non-social people, are usually the most polite!

 

[hellsgate]

Note to self --- STOP INVITING ANNOYING FRIEND OUT ANYWHERE FOR ANY REASON.

 

[Noname Given]

But, what if you look at things a different way:
---------------------------------------------
Honestly, did you want to go out on your Birthday with that friend because you wanted her to eat, or because she's a friend who's comony you enjoy? I only ask because if anything she was there as a friend to be with youy on your birthday. You picked a returant you liked (and there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with that, it's for YOUR birthday); but obviously, nothing on the menu appealed to her, for whatever reason.

That said, there is no reason you should feel guilty about eating in front of her just because she doesn't like anything on the menu - and I honestly think if she did try to eat something she really didn't want and got ill, or you found out she vomited later; you probably would have felt bad too.

You have NOTHING to feel guilty about as it was her choice not to eat anything (and it was YOUR birthday so it's your 'right' to go somplace you like); but perhaps you should look at what she did do - She came with you (to a place she didn't like, yet stayed) to keep you company and celebrate your birthday. What more do you want/need from a friend?

Overall Bottom Line: You changed the date, so she could come and she DID come; she just decided she didn't find anything that she liked and decided to drink water.

The only thing that would have annoyed me in this type of situation would be, if I changed the date to accomodate her schedule, but the person STILL decided she would rather not come for no good reason.

 

[Holdfast]

Would you guys have been annoyed at her?

Annoyed? Not really; it's her choice whether to eat or not, though I would have encouraged her to find soemthing. Actually I would have suggested she just ask the chef to cook something she really wanted. I'm suspect they would have obliged, within reason; it seems a decent restaurant from the menu & the hotel's website. Though there may have been a small upcharge for an "off-menu" order.

It may just be that she was in a grumpy mood that day. That's what it sounds like to me.

Would you have found something on the menu you like?

I think so. Not all of it is to my taste, but there's enough there to be happy with. If I'm drinking wine with a meal, I tend to work backwards from the wine list to the food menu. Their wine list doesn't have the vintage listed, which is slightly annoying, but I'd survive. I'd probably have one of the nicer Shiraz/Cab blends with one of the steaks. Maybe the szechuan calamari with some sparkling water to start with. Dessert is a bit less interesting though, I might have skipped that. Or if the cheeses were nice, might have tried that.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

God i could totally be in heaven with that menu. I can't stand finicky eaters like that. Really annoys me. I would have gotten so pissed i would just yelled at her.

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

Well, it's your birthday. So you get to pick the place.

That said, my father's pulled this rude shit all my life, even to the point of whining rudely to the waiters about his food. He grumbles under his breath and his usual complaint is that the food is "too hot." He claims that he's allergic to pepper, but the truth is he's a spoiled brat.

He grew up with my grandmother who indulged him whenever he threw a fit and didn't like the food. Her coddling and spoilling him led him to believe that the rest of the world owes him a living. And my mother never stood up and told him to get over himself and stop whining.

I've reached the point that I don't go out to eat with him, and when he starts whining I tell him to shut the fuck up. I took him to my favorite places here in Austin, and he acted such an ass that I had to apologize to the waiter and beg them not to take it out on the rest of us.

Friends, however, I can pick. Whenever I'm out with someone and they act that way, I tell them to STFU and resolve never to go out to eat with them again.

Guess some people never learned to just not eat what they don't like... I remember one time driving through New Orleans and stopping to eat. Turned out everything was too hot for me. But instead of whining, I ate some bread, had a drink, and got a hamburger and fries from McDonald's. I was about 16 at the time.
And I've since discovered that I like rice and beans and can tolerate gumbo.

I'm just not a big complainer anyway, I either eat it or I don't.

 

[WillsBabe]

To be honest none of those main courses appeals to me. However, the desserts and the starters sound nice. I would probably have had a starter and a pudding. However, if I'd been going out to celebrate a friend's birthday and there had been nothing on the menu I really fancied, I would still have chosen something and pretended to enjoy it, or just not commented about on it. This is because I would be polite and enjoy the company and the occassion.