Personally I find arrogance, especially humourless arrogance, a real turn-off.
Humble or Arrogant ~ How do you see yourself?
- Thread starter K'Ehleyr
- Start date
Some people may overestimate their competence in order to beautify their self image, or to shelter themselves from negative self-evaluation.
I think that to reveal underlying narcissism or insecurity we would need to identify these motivations, and I think that a process of elimination sounds like the most promising route to achieve that, because there are not many reasons why a person would overestimate these things.
Past experience and past failures and achievements are usually great teachers, and help us to realize our levels of competence in all areas of life. If a person excuses their own past failures by externalizing blame (aka, the self-serving bias), it may lead to the development of an exaggerated sense of competence.
I think ultimately, narcissism and insecurity both motivate self serving behaviours, so if arrogance is displayed it would probably show no correlation with helpfulness or esteem.
I would say it depends on the situation, I do not think arrogance is one of my faults though, I have many, but that isn't one of them. I fully realise how limited I am in my current state. I can be humble to a degree, but I do think I can do even more work on that. I really enjoy humility in others, and I think it's actually a very rare trait in it's truest form, and something I consciously aspire to be, but I have a long way to go.
I have my moments where I believe I come across as arrogant. I'd say I'm fairly humble most of the time, though that may be because of self esteem issues. If I were more confident, I suspect I wouldn't seem as humble.
Be careful to not mistake my self confidence for arrogance
I think that's what happens a lot in real life.
I still have to find a way for myself how I can appear self confident without coming off as arrogant. Usually I'm a modest and rather shy person. In the past I was struggling with it, because when someone is humble and quiet, that often leads to the conclusion that this person is either uninteresting or less capable of doing a job. I'm working on my appearance and I'm trying to become more self confident. Which sometimes causes the opposite reaction - others think of me as an arrogant person. I’m still trying to find a good balance here but for now I guess it completely depends on the situation.
I think humbleness is a false virtue that praises mediocrity. People are humble in an effort to feel a sense of contentment when observing their own inabilities.
Such people may even underestimate their abilities out of cognitive dissonance. By believing they are unworthy or incapable of achieving something, they free themselves from their ambition to achieve or improve. It saves them from trying something difficult and risking failure.
As such it can be a greater source of insecurity than arrogance.
Such people may even underestimate their abilities out of cognitive dissonance. By believing they are unworthy or incapable of achieving something, they free themselves from their ambition to achieve or improve. It saves them from trying something difficult and risking failure.
As such it can be a greater source of insecurity than arrogance.
I think you're confusing humility (not "humbleness") with modesty.
Even someone who has done great things can still be extremely humble.
Be careful to not mistake my self confidence for arrogance
Couple with this the fact that I'm able to make considered judgments at light speed.
But honestly, when I express myself, I believe in what I say. If I see opportunity for error, then I'll deliberately use words like 'maybe' and 'perhaps'. If I'm shown to be wrong then I'll be quick to retract the words I've spoken. Most often I'm keen to take a multilateral perspective of things, considering all possible views at once. But I certainly wouldn't defend a false claim just to create an illusion of infallibility.
But like iguana, I am rarely wrong.
Also I'd like to say that iguana and holdfast are two of my favourite posters on this board. I like their self confidence. I like the boldness with which they express themselves. As I enjoy their intellect. I'm honored that you rank me alongside them, Kehleyr.
Jadzia, I'm so glad you have seen the way it was supposed to be taken in ~ I was worried I may have offended you.
But then I did judge and probably should not have.
It is, after all, only in my own humble opinion
.As lots of posters have said ~ there are times to be humble,take a back seat and learn. And other times to be assertive, say your piece and teach ~ as long as you have the knowledge to be certain you are correct.
To be only one or the other would be dull
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I'm just sad that no one else has had the courage to make up their own lists.
And there's been no reply from holdfast yet. He must have gone off gallivanting some place this weekend.
I was away from Saturday until Monday.
Back on the 3rd day.
Sound familiar?
Arrogant enough to be delighted to be top of that list, anyway.
Saying things like this will guarantee you excellent ringside seats when the new world order rises.
I am at least relieved to see that you have enough insight not to try claiming this as being a humble position to adopt.
Personally, when thinking about arrogance, I divide the world into a) the deliciously arrogant and b) the unpleasantly arrogant. The deliciously arrogant have flair and panache, the unpleasantly arrogant lack insight and are ploddingly direct. I really enjoy watching the deliciously arrogant operate: you can see the sheer joy with which they glide through the world using a mix of force of personality, conviction and elegant wordplay. The difference between the two groups is an emotional awareness of others. Add emotional awareness to arrogance and it becomes delicious. Without it, it is just unpleasant. Both categories of person can potentially be dangerous, but the delicious will metaphorically slide a stiletto through the ribs whereas the unpleasant will take a sledgehammer to your skull.
Given that we're about to move into a General Election period here in the UK, rather than categorise posters, I will instead categorise UK politicians according to the above criteria. I will do my bit for election-period equality by picking two of each main party, and one each from the third party.
Deliciously arrogant: Mandelson, Milburn, Gove, Osborne, Cable.
Unpleasantly arrogant: Brown, Balls, Fox, Grayling, Huhne.
Back on the 3rd day.
Sound familiar?
Arrogant enough to be delighted to be top of that list, anyway.
Also I'd like to say that iguana and holdfast are two of my favourite posters on this board. I like their self confidence. I like the boldness with which they express themselves. As I enjoy their intellect. I'm honored that you rank me alongside them, Kehleyr.
Saying things like this will guarantee you excellent ringside seats when the new world order rises.
I am at least relieved to see that you have enough insight not to try claiming this as being a humble position to adopt.
Personally, when thinking about arrogance, I divide the world into a) the deliciously arrogant and b) the unpleasantly arrogant. The deliciously arrogant have flair and panache, the unpleasantly arrogant lack insight and are ploddingly direct. I really enjoy watching the deliciously arrogant operate: you can see the sheer joy with which they glide through the world using a mix of force of personality, conviction and elegant wordplay. The difference between the two groups is an emotional awareness of others. Add emotional awareness to arrogance and it becomes delicious. Without it, it is just unpleasant. Both categories of person can potentially be dangerous, but the delicious will metaphorically slide a stiletto through the ribs whereas the unpleasant will take a sledgehammer to your skull.
Given that we're about to move into a General Election period here in the UK, rather than categorise posters, I will instead categorise UK politicians according to the above criteria. I will do my bit for election-period equality by picking two of each main party, and one each from the third party.
Deliciously arrogant: Mandelson, Milburn, Gove, Osborne, Cable.
Unpleasantly arrogant: Brown, Balls, Fox, Grayling, Huhne.
If anyone wants to beome more humble I know a guy who can help you with that. And he does it the old-fashioned way.
And my knees are suddenly all weak and jellyfied...But like iguana, I am rarely wrong.
Also I'd like to say that iguana and holdfast are two of my favourite posters on this board. I like their self confidence. I like the boldness with which they express themselves. As I enjoy their intellect. I'm honored that you rank me alongside them, Kehleyr.
MeanJoePhaser
Admiral
Gloat like a butterfly sting like a humble bee!
That's my motto.
That's my motto.
I'm so disappointed that no-one has appreciated my reference to Jeeves's arrogance. Someone google PG Wodehouse! You will find the most excellent example of humble arrogance.
And to Holdy ~ you can stuff Mandelson and the Miliband brothers where the sun, hopefully will never shine again. Oh you may as well get Brown a ticket too!
And to Holdy ~ you can stuff Mandelson and the Miliband brothers where the sun, hopefully will never shine again. Oh you may as well get Brown a ticket too!
Humble is closer, so I chose that.
I haven't got any strong feelings on who is humble and who is arrogant. Except for Spiff. The guy is arrogance to the nth degree. Ever since he flew his Lear jet up to see the total eclipse of the sun. 