Human Psychological Desire to Share

[Joshua Howard]

I guess it is hardwired into our brains to want to share what has happened to us or what we have done, or what we are planning to do with other people. It can be something that we just accept as part of society, but it can also be a symptom of weakness. The "loose lips can sink ships" poster/slogan from WWII comes to mind.

As an example, I smashed my finger in the door of my pickup truck about a week ago. I noticed that in the wake of the incident, I felt psychologically compelled to tell somebody about it. But why? It wasn't really relevant to anything.

I also notice that I tend to want to babble to people - anyone - about my plans, especially if I am uncertain about what to do under the circumstances. I view that as a weakness which I am trying to change. Leaders are supposed to seem confident, maybe even somewhat invulnerable; so babbling to people to satisfy some kind of psychological need for validation is obviously not a good trait to allow.

Anyway, it is interesting to me how we seem to have a sort of inner drive to share information with other people whether we should or not. Anything out of the ordinary which we encounter we naturally pass on to others, and we don't really think about it, but that desire to network is probably responsible for the entire evolution of human civilization. Thoughts?

 

[Nardpuncher]

yeah...lots of people do this.

I'd ask people that babble to please try to tell a cohesive story and don't ever insult the listener's intelligence by starting to 'embellish' or begin lying to make the story more appealing once you see that your kind listener has started losing focus.

I had a coworker that would tell rather mundane stories then you could tell she'd lie to make it interesting.
Example: One time she said she went to 10 supermarkets to look for Balsamic vinegar. That part took about 3 minutes to tell and I doubt she really went to ten supermarkets...anyway the end of the story is that she said once she found some she was so happy she just started drinking it.

Thanks for listening to that!

 

[F. King Daniel]

People like to brag. I guess it boils down (all the way down) to "I'm better than you - here, look!" or "I've done interesting things! Please like/respect me!"

I try not to think too much about what really motivates people. It's sad and depressing.

 

[Goliath]

Is it really "sharing," what we're talking about here?

If someone was spreading a cold virus, for example, we wouldn't say they were "sharing" it, unless we were being ironic.

 

[Spot's Meow]

This is why blogs exist. Sometimes I feel the urge to write down things that have happened to me even though the events are boring, mundane, and nobody would really want to read it. I guess you just don't want people to forget you exist or something, I'm not really sure why it happens.

 

[JarodRussell]

Or Twitter.


Who the fuck needs to know that someone "just got up", "made coffee", "went to work early", "ate an apple"? But there seems to be an urge to tell everyone.

 

[Amaris]

I think most people just want to be part of the social collective. We're very social creatures.

 

[Mary Ann]

I think most people just want to be part of the social collective. We're very social creatures.

Yes, and most of us are hard-wired with the desire to communicate with other people. Even most introverted people have a few people close to them with whom they share their thoughts. I think it's not always about attention, though, as talking about a problem or about the hard day you've had does help you to feel a bit better. Writing things down can also help, but I think most of us prefer talking to someone instead.

 

[Amaris]

I think most people just want to be part of the social collective. We're very social creatures.

Yes, and most of us are hard-wired with the desire to communicate with other people. Even most introverted people have a few people close to them with whom they share their thoughts. I think it's not always about attention, though, as talking about a problem or about the hard day you've had does help you to feel a bit better. Writing things down can also help, but I think most of us prefer talking to someone instead.

Agreed. I would love to talk to someone, but I have few friends outside of the net who would take the time (out of busy schedule, not disinterest). I'm also able to better process my own thoughts when I can put them on "paper", and that helps me, particularly when I get feedback and other viewpoints. I talk a lot, but then again, I think non-stop. It has to go somewhere!

 

[Nardpuncher]

I think most people just want to be part of the social collective. We're very social creatures.

Sure , that's why we're on this board now...but we're talking about the people that are doing it poorly or incorrectly.

 

[Amaris]

I think most people just want to be part of the social collective. We're very social creatures.

Sure , that's why we're on this board now...but we're talking about the people that are doing it poorly or incorrectly.

Maybe it's correct, maybe it isn't. People are simply using the tools made available to them. It was letters, then email, then text, Myspace/Facebook social networks, now it's tweets, and god knows what's in store, but it just shows that strong desire to share, with anyone. It may have something to do with our desire to connect with people on some level. I wonder how true it is that the more connected we are via technology, the more alone we become.

All of these technologies are wonderful to share, but can they match the same level of communication two people have face to face? I don't think they can, and I say that as a proponent of these technologies. We might even call this the Social Networking Age.

 

[Nardpuncher]

To clarify, I'm not talking about tools I mean people that don't communicate very well with others. Either by being rude, condescending or talking too much etc.
But the rest of your post I agree with.

 

[Mary Ann]

All of these technologies are wonderful to share, but can they match the same level of communication two people have face to face? I don't think they can

I agree. There's so much more to communication than just words. There's body language, facial expressions, intonation, and so forth. I've been misunderstood plenty of times on the 'net, and know I'm not alone. All those smilies we use replaces the facial expressions and such that we cannot see over the 'net, which is why they're so important.

 

[STR]

People like to brag. I guess it boils down (all the way down) to "I'm better than you - here, look!" or "I've done interesting things! Please like/respect me!"

I try not to think too much about what really motivates people. It's sad and depressing.

You'd like the blog Stuff White People Like

 

[Mr Radioactive]

I think you can learn a lot about how to cope in life by playing games like Poker and Chess. You realise in Poker that how you represent yourself is vital because the other players are trying to read you. This idea is just as important at work, or in the bar - or wherever there are other people.
It's not so much that you have to develop a poker face, you just have to be careful about what information you disclose, and what effect your persona has on other people.
For example, a colleague at work continually talks about the programs he watches on TV on a Saturday night. Doing this might seem harmless, but he's informing people that he doesn't have a social life. There is another person who talks about what football games he's going to bet on at the weekend. Again, he's revealing a lot about himself, and unnecessarily so.