How to write a BDSM romance story

[Hermiod]

That sounds good.

The problem I have (and I stress this is a personal view) is that BDSM is often portrayed as someone getting off on either the power or the submission. That can be part of the romance, but power/submission is more of a head game thing.

This is true, to a degree.

The most important thing to emphasize is trust. Trust is absolutely vital in D/s relationships. The submissive places a lot in his or her dominant's hands and without trust that just can't work.

D/s relationships are most definitely not about some cruel person trying up some helpless stranger, having his or her way with them and getting off on that.

It's important that the OP stay well clear of stereotypes. Submissives are not all spindly old men in powerful jobs who pay Miss Whiplash $500 an hour to hurt them. Submissives massively outnumber dominants and their numbers most definitely skew female.

Secretary is a good place to start, because above all else it portrays the relationship as positive and something that makes the submissive happier than she is without it.

 

[wamdue]

one thing that has not been suggested.

I dont know how involved you are in your local BDSM scene (for want of a better term) go check out your local BDSM Club, speak to the people there.

also when it comes to writing the story, I set a "community" back drop, obviously BDSM means alot of different things, to alot of different people, try and set your lead couple against a backdrop of other characters in a differnt type of BDSM relationship.

However you might wish to avoid writing a "Desperate BDSM Wives" type affair.

 

[Hermiod]

However you might wish to avoid writing a "Desperate BDSM Wives" type affair.

Yes, unless you're writing this exclusively for women, a story about a bored housewife cheating on her husband isn't exactly what a guy finds romantic.

 

[wamdue]

could make for a good porn movie title however "Desperate BDSM Wives" I mean.