How to say NO at work... and remain employed!

[K'Ehleyr]

In short, I work part time at a cafe in a golf club. The boss is going part time as she has another venture to pursue ~ good, excellent, well done you (genuinely!). So another part timer has stepped up to take the full time hours which she wants and has been waiting for.

NOW NB (new boss) has decided she doesn't want to do all the hours and wants to change my Saturday shift from 10.30 - 4.30 to 10.30 - 7/8pm. Bare in mind we do not get a break and I am known for being happy with my present conditions.

NB is a total lickarse and OB loves her because 'all she does is for the good of the cafe' It's a bloody cafe ~ we are not saving lives or curing diseases. NB is also incredibly neurotic and defensive ~ she has only been with us 5 months and has already put noses 'out of joint'.

Additional info;

I've been there 18 months as opposed to NB's 5 months.
I didn't want the full time hours and do not have a problem with NB taking them.
Whilst OB was on a 6 week Thailand hol in Jan/Feb, I happily covered shifts on a temporary basis.
This would be a permanent change and it does not sit well with me.

So how do I politely decline from doing the extra hours (the money of which I would lose in tax anyway) without coming across as a grumpy and unhelpful 'member of the team'?

Advice really gratefully received.

Also I'm hosting a 'celebration dinner' for OB on Friday night and want this all sorted out beforehand. Although I've heard that NB will not be eating any of the food as she doesn't like it Well if she knows the menu and doesn't tell me it'll be beans on toast then

 

[Cheapjack]

Say that you are doing something else and get really good proof for it. Something that will tug a heartstring or something that legally or morally, they just can't get you for.

Bob Cratchit got Xmas day off.

And don't smirk, when you get it.

 

[Jadzia]

You spend Saturday tea time visiting a disabled elderly relative, and these few hours on a Saturday with you is the only company she has now.

 

[iguana_tonante]

When in doubt, unionize!

 

[Nowhere Man]

I have worked in resturaunts for over a decade, so I feel your pain. In F&B it's hard to excercise your rights as a worker without bieng in a union. You don't get breaks, but there are down times, so that is way to excuse it, even though legaly your suposed to. Good luck getting a lawyer for that. The list goes on and on, your expected to bend over backwards for the job and your life is suposed take a back seat to the job. Your really not suposed to have a life at all and how dare you want time off for vacation. I know this all too well. Your expected to do so much to promote the well bieng of the job, but your job is not suposed to do shit for you. They only pay you because they are legaly required to due to that pesky 13th amendment.

Anyway, to answer your question, I am confrontational when it comes to jobs. I won't give you advice to get you fired though. What I would do is very different from what my advice is. My advice is to politely and honestly explain your feelings. It's ok to have an opinion about how much you want to work. I don't know the reason you don't want to work full time, but it's nobody's business. Everyone has different curcumstaneces. I would just say you would like to remain in the shift and hours you have if possible. If the boss disagrees then you should try to assert yourself a little and try to put your foot down. Explain that you have a good relatioinship with your customers or whatever and make a logical case for it. I have found that if you show a little guts without coming off like a bitch, you can reach a compromise. You've been there long enough to be respected and deserve to have your voice heard. If none of that works, then just put up with it until you can find something else.

If you don't want to do any of that, make up a lie why you can't work those hours.

No matter what rehearse it over and over before you say anything.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Say that you are doing something else and get really good proof for it. Something that will tug a heartstring or something that legally or morally, they just can't get you for.

Bob Cratchit got Xmas day off.

And don't smirk, when you get it.

Like Jadzia's idea?
I'm smirking already ~ plan B is needed

You spend Saturday tea time visiting a disabled elderly relative, and these few hours on a Saturday with you is the only company she has now.

Definately has the 'heartstrings' appeal

When in doubt, unionize!

It's too much of a dictatorship ~ I feel if I founded a union there would just be me and my placard and a lot more time on TBBS

 

[Cheapjack]

Well, here's not what to do:

Next time the boss asks, stick your fingers up your wherever, then shove them up his nose, and say:

'F***....RIGHT....OFF...!!!'

 

[K'Ehleyr]

I have worked in resturaunts for over a decade, so I feel your pain. In F&B it's hard to excercise your rights as a worker without bieng in a union. You don't get breaks, but there are down times, so that is way to excuse it, even though legaly your suposed to. Good luck getting a lawyer for that. The list goes on and on, your expected to bend over backwards for the job and your life is suposed take a back seat to the job. Your really not suposed to have a life at all and how dare you want time off for vacation. I know this all too well. Your expected to do so much to promote the well bieng of the job, but your job is not suposed to do shit for you. They only pay you because they are legaly required to due to that pesky 13th amendment.

Anyway, to answer your question, I am confrontational when it comes to jobs. I won't give you advice to get you fired though. What I would do is very different from what my advice is. My advice is to politely and honestly explain your feelings. It's ok to have an opinion about how much you want to work. I don't know the reason you don't want to work full time, but it's nobody's business. Everyone has different curcumstaneces. I would just say you would like to remain in the shift and hours you have if possible. If the boss disagrees then you should try to assert yourself a little and try to put your foot down. Explain that you have a good relatioinship with your customers or whatever and make a logical case for it. I have found that if you show a little guts without coming off like a bitch, you can reach a compromise. You've been there long enough to be respected and deserve to have your voice heard. If none of that works, then just put up with it until you can find something else.

If you don't want to do any of that, make up a lie why you can't work those hours.

No matter what rehearse it over and over before you say anything.

Thanks Hilbilly. It is a very frustrating trade to be in. No breaks, no sick pay, no bank holiday overtime, washing your own uniform and usually the tea towels as well. But I chose to do it so cannot complain, but I do feel I contribute above and beyond for minimum wage. (Ooops complaining there )

I know exactly what you mean about not suppose to have a life ~ when I first started I made it clear I would not be available for evenings, I've done too many years to enjoy watching other people get drunk of an evening. Or Sundays, the only day we (family) sit down together for brunch, so I think they already know that I would not be happy to stay on Saturdays, but still they ask

Just really want to say 'She wanted the hours, she took the job, suck it!' but as you say, in a polite and honest way

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Well, here's not what to do:

Next time the boss asks, stick your fingers up your wherever, then shove them up his nose, and say:

'F***....RIGHT....OFF...!!!'

 

[Robert Maxwell]

This will always remain the best way to quit a job:

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuBRk6tjiUQ[/yt]

 

[iguana_tonante]

When in doubt, unionize!

It's too much of a dictatorship ~ I feel if I founded a union there would just be me and my placard and a lot more time on TBBS

Being in a work dictatorship is exactly the reason to unionize. You don't even need a formal union or anything, just talk with your co-workers and present a common front. They can't fire all of you (and if they do, they just fucked over themselves, having to retrain the entire staff).

One finger is weak, but the hand is strong.

 

[WillsBabe]

You don't get a break? Maybe because you are currently working 6 hours. If you work more than that, things should change. Check out the TUC or Direct.gov website.

As to the hours in question, if you don't want to do them, just say so. I find that being polite but firm usually works. For me it all starts to fall to pieces when I start apologising or making excuses/offering reasons.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

When in doubt, unionize!

It's too much of a dictatorship ~ I feel if I founded a union there would just be me and my placard and a lot more time on TBBS

Being in a work dictatorship is exactly the reason to unionize. You don't even need a formal union or anything, just talk with your co-workers and present a common front. They can't fire all of you (and if they do, they just fucked over themselves, having to retrain the entire staff).

One finger is weak, but the hand is strong.

Unfortunately all (only 6) of the fingers seem to have different ideas... bit like typing when you're drunk

You don't get a break? Maybe because you are currently working 6 hours. If you work more than that, things should change. Check out the TUC or Direct.gov website.

As to the hours in question, if you don't want to do them, just say so. I find that being polite but firm usually works. For me it all starts to fall to pieces when I start apologising or making excuses/offering reasons.

I think it's 20 mins break in 6 hours work but I've never quibbled as I work 10.30 - 4.30 usually which is the busiest time. It goes with the job.

I've decided to text OB tonight (very un-klingon of me but she hates confrontation too) and just say 'Have thought about it and cannot commit to late Saturdays.'

As you rightly say 'no excuses, no reasons' ~ just No thanks.

And RM ~ if I only had the crown...

 

[Flying Spaghetti Monster]

having no set breaks is illegal in most states if you work over a certain number of hours

 

[TheBrew]

having no set breaks is illegal in most states if you work over a certain number of hours

That would have been real important info if she actually worked in the States.

 

[Starbreaker]

You have night classes on Saturday because you're furthering your education, remember?

 

[An Officer]

That's quite a considerable lifestyle change to ask of you. I would think NB might already be prepared for the possibility of a "no", especially if there is little financial reward in it for you (as you say the excess will be eaten up by tax). It would be like asking you to work for free! They can ask, but you're always free to say no. Even if NB is unsympathetic, I'm sure OB might better understand. OB probably is not going to be happy NB has changed her mind so quickly anyway, sounds a bit wishy-washy and unreliable to me (depends what excuse she comes up with though).

I wouldn't worry too much about the consequences of saying no, I would imagine it'll be much easier to hire another part-timer to cover those hours, rather than sack you in order to hire a full-timer. Or, simply, NB might be expected to uphold her promise. In any case, if none of that comes to pass, and they treat you poorly, better you know now so you can find a better working environments to offer your services to. You'll be doing yourself a favour in the long run as far as your peace of mind goes.

I do hope this sorts itself out in time for your celebration dinner... and that you can win over your OB to your side. Surely the fact that you have "man" and a young son to look after and spend quality time with should hold some sway... what's more important than family?

 

[Gryffindorian]

I voted for the second option. It's been a long time since I was asked to work overtime or outside of my usual work hours, but I usually had no problem, assuming my boss notified me ahead of time. If you're being given an option, it pays to be honest and just say no. If this was a temporary, one-time deal, not a problem, right? But if you're being asked to make a permanent schedule adjustment, you do have the option of speaking up and assertively declining. Do note that in most situations employers reserve the right to modify their employees work schedule.

My 22-year-old nephew who worked for Fed-Ex for a number of years didn't get along with the "new boss" as well. I don't know what the issues were, but suffice it to say, he quit his job, and he seems to be happier.

Good luck.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

having no set breaks is illegal in most states if you work over a certain number of hours

That would have been real important info if she actually worked in the States.

Maybe I commute No ~ it's illegal here in the UK too, but it's a small cafe and for a lot of the time we are on our own (with people in the shop downstairs) so we grab a sit down when we can. I always make sure I'm still looking busy ~ our cutlery is highly polished

You have night classes on Saturday because you're furthering your education, remember?

in salsa dancing

That's quite a considerable lifestyle change to ask of you. I would think NB might already be prepared for the possibility of a "no", especially if there is little financial reward in it for you (as you say the excess will be eaten up by tax). It would be like asking you to work for free! They can ask, but you're always free to say no. Even if NB is unsympathetic, I'm sure OB might better understand. OB probably is not going to be happy NB has changed her mind so quickly anyway, sounds a bit wishy-washy and unreliable to me (depends what excuse she comes up with though).

I wouldn't worry too much about the consequences of saying no, I would imagine it'll be much easier to hire another part-timer to cover those hours, rather than sack you in order to hire a full-timer. Or, simply, NB might be expected to uphold her promise. In any case, if none of that comes to pass, and they treat you poorly, better you know now so you can find a better working environments to offer your services to. You'll be doing yourself a favour in the long run as far as your peace of mind goes.

I do hope this sorts itself out in time for your celebration dinner... and that you can win over your OB to your side. Surely the fact that you have "man" and a young son to look after and spend quality time with should hold some sway... what's more important than family?

You're right An Officer, it does seem poorly thought through. An extra part-timer does seem the option to go for.

And yes ~ I'm sticking for the 'I do have a life' excuse!

I voted for the second option. It's been a long time since I was asked to work overtime or outside of my usual work hours, but I usually had no problem, assuming my boss notified me ahead of time. If you're being given an option, it pays to be honest and just say no. If this was a temporary, one-time deal, not a problem, right? But if you're being asked to make a permanent schedule adjustment, you do have the option of speaking up and assertively declining. Do note that in most situations employers reserve the right to modify their employees work schedule.

My 22-year-old nephew who worked for Fed-Ex for a number of years didn't get along with the "new boss" as well. I don't know what the issues were, but suffice it to say, he quit his job, and he seems to be happier.

Good luck.

Exactly! I've always been happy to do the odd extra shift or change, but especially now summers coming on I don't want to be stuck there every Saturday evening.


Thank you for all responses and for none of the 'be a team player' option
I did text last night and say no, nothing was mentioned today.
I've also offered to cook NB a different meal for Friday ~ in the spirit of 'being a good host' and also making me look agreeable and her fussy

 

[TheBrew]

having no set breaks is illegal in most states if you work over a certain number of hours

That would have been real important info if she actually worked in the States.

Maybe I commute No ~ it's illegal here in the UK too, but it's a small cafe and for a lot of the time we are on our own (with people in the shop downstairs) so we grab a sit down when we can. I always make sure I'm still looking busy ~ our cutlery is highly polished

That would be a hell of a commute.

I worked in a restaurant, so I know how it goes with no breaks. During dinner, everything is 'on' and you don't get a break.