How to Make Live-Action Movies Not "Scary" For a Kid?

[Frontier]

OK, so... my nephew is 6 years old. But he has a lot of trouble watching any movie that isn't animated. Anything live action. Which when he was 4 or even 5, ok, I can get it to a degree. But it isn't really going away with age. And I want to help him not be so scared of movies, because I feel he's missing out on some things.

He's a huge Spider-Man fan, and had less than no desire to see the new film this summer. Same with Avengers.

I know each child is unique and I certainly am not going to make him watch anything, because that would not be right. But I have encouraged him in the past, and explained certain realities of movie making to him, and it has helped him in those specific instances.

For example, "Ghostbusters" - he became a fan because I bought the animated series of such. I wanted him to see the film-film, and it took me a while but I finally convinced him to. There where one or two parts I warned him would be scary (like when the terror dogs abduct Dana from her apartment) but otherwise, he watched it with some coaxing - and he loved it! Same with the original Star Wars films. He was fine with New Hope and Empire, but had some trouble with Jedi - specifically the Emperor scared him. So I explained how it's just a man in make-up and that worked for him and he loves the movies now, has seen the prequels and re-watched them all on his own.

We've seen two or three "Star Trek" films thus far (he watched TSFS with me one X-Mas when he was 3, surprisingly) and we recently watched Voyage Home which was perfect for him, not scared at all. We tried "First Contact" because he likes the Borg (has seen "Q-Who", "Best of Both Worlds" and "I, Borg" and wanted to see it) but he couldn't get passed Deck 15 scene, which... ok, I get it.

Anyway... I really would like to help him get over his general anxiety over seeing such films because when I coax him into watching a movie? He likes it! And isn't scared anymore... of *THAT* specific film. And I don't want him to miss out on seeing movies that could define his childhood.

I saw "Ghostbusters" when I was 4 and played it on a continuous loop, lol. Saw "Ghostbusters 2" in theaters when I was 5. Hell, I even saw "Terminator 2" when I was 7 (he won't, mind you - I wouldn't let him see that one, lol).

I just don't want him missing out when his friends at school are all talking about seeing this or that, which has already happened this year, and I don't want it to happen anymore and... yeah... so... ideas?

 

[JarodRussell]

He is just 6 years old, dude. Let him be scared a bit.

I just don't want him missing out when his friends at school are all talking about seeing this or that, which has already happened this year, and I don't want it to happen anymore and... yeah... so... ideas?

That should be his motivation to watch a film, not yours, shouldn't it?

 

[Alidar Jarok]

He's six, he'll grow out of it. First Contact was a PG-13 movie if I'm not mistaken. I saw Jurassic Park in theaters when I was six, but that doesn't mean any six year old can see it. He's in first grade! Can he watch live-action kids movies?

 

[Gotham Central]

He is just 6 years old, dude. Let him be scared a bit.

I just don't want him missing out when his friends at school are all talking about seeing this or that, which has already happened this year, and I don't want it to happen anymore and... yeah... so... ideas?

That should be his motivation to watch a film, not yours, shouldn't it?

By why let it fester when its easy to innoculate against?

There is no reason to ever really be "afraid" of a movie. Its all make believe.

I remember being 5 or 6 and being a little freaked out by Michael Jackson's Thriller video (this was before we all knew hoe Creepy MJ was himself)...hell the section of the song alone, with Vincent Price, was fear inducing a little. You get over it.

In fact, I think I was 4 or 5 when I saw the Exorcist. Now THAT was freaking scary. Yet one does not come out of it terribly scarred. I attribute my general lack of nightmares since to the fact that most of that kind of fear was eliminated pretty early.

I think that the key is to have them see it anyway even if it scares them. They'll get over it that much faster.

 

[Deckerd]

In fact, I think I was 4 or 5 when I saw the Exorcist. Now THAT was freaking scary. Yet one does not come out of it terribly scarred.

This is appalling. How you can advocate a similar fate to other young children just because you survived it is equally appalling.

 

[JarodRussell]

I think that the key is to have them see it anyway even if it scares them. They'll get over it that much faster.

Seriously, that's awesome. Force kids into doing something they don't like doing.

 

[Christopher]

I think adults ought to have more faith in children's judgment about what they're ready for. Sometimes they can handle more than you'd expect -- or sometimes they may not feel prepared to cope with something yet. Every child develops at their own pace, and you need to listen to a child to assess what their particular pace is.

I don't think forcing something scary on a kid to make them "get over it" is a wise approach. In fact, I think it's counterproductive. After all, the scariest thing of all is feeling powerless, feeling that you don't have any choice in what happens to you. The best antidote to feeling afraid is feeling a sense of control. So it's probably better to let your nephew decide for himself when or whether he's ready for a certain movie. Respect his wishes. Let him know that you'd like to share this movie with him, that you think there are things about it he could enjoy, but that you respect his feelings about it and are leaving it up to him to decide whether and when to watch it with you -- and whether to stop watching if it gets to be too much. That way the child will have a sense of control over the situation and it won't be as intimidating.

Besides, if you make the kid watch whether he wants to or not, then it'll feel like a chore, or like going to the dentist. That's no way to instill a love of the genre.

 

[B.J.]

How about some stuff that's a bit more age appropriate? If he's apprehensive about seeing Spiderman or Avengers, start him off with stuff a bit easier for him to handle, like Spy Kids or Speed Racer. Live action doesn't have to mean "realistic". Yeah, I know "realistic" doesn't mean much when talking about Ghostbusters or Star Wars, but it's more realistic than the near-cartoony movies I mentioned.

Also, try browsing the Family/Children movies section on Netflix or wherever you get your movies. Think along the lines of "The Love Bug", "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang", "Mary Poppins", "Looney Tunes: Back in Action", etc., etc., etc..... or any number of movies with kids as the main characters.

 

[Gotham Central]

In fact, I think I was 4 or 5 when I saw the Exorcist. Now THAT was freaking scary. Yet one does not come out of it terribly scarred.

This is appalling. How you can advocate a similar fate to other young children just because you survived it is equally appalling.

What do you mean...a"similar fate?"

Its a fraking movie not water boarding!

Seeing something that scares you yet cannot harm you is ok in the long run. There are real things that one should legitimately fear...light on a screen should not be one of them. My neices and nephews would probably look at the stuff that I was scred of then and wonder what the big deal was.

There is nothing wrong with being scared. I actually think that its good for young kids to learn fairly early that its good for them to fac things that make them afraid, especially when its something that cannot harm them.

 

[JarodRussell]

It's like throwing spiders at people with arachnophobia, yelling "GET THE FUCK OVER IT!"

I actually think that its good for young kids to learn fairly early that its good for them to fac things that make them afraid, especially when its something that cannot harm them.

Of course that's good, but your approach is terrible.

 

[Gotham Central]

It's like throwing spiders at people with arachnophobia, yelling "GET THE FUCK OVER IT!"

I actually think that its good for young kids to learn fairly early that its good for them to fac things that make them afraid, especially when its something that cannot harm them.

Of course that's good, but your approach is terrible.

Except that that is exactly what immersion therapy requires. One has to face it. Taking a kid to see Avengers is not going to traumatize him/her.

 

[JarodRussell]

Except that that is exactly what immersion therapy requires. One has to face it.

You don't just throw spiders at people suffering from arachnophobia. It's a very slow process requiring lots of patience.

 

[Christopher]

Except that that is exactly what immersion therapy requires. One has to face it. Taking a kid to see Avengers is not going to traumatize him/her.

But immersion therapy should not be coerced. Therapy is something done with the consent of the subject. Forcing something frightening on a child against the child's will isn't therapeutic, it's abusive. As I said, the scariest thing of all for a child is feeling powerless and at the mercy of forces beyond the child's control.

I think too many adults forget that children are people too and their feelings and opinions matter. Yes, they're not as experienced or capable of independent decision-making as adults (theoretically) are, but that doesn't make them inanimate objects that we can mold into whatever we want. They have a right to be consulted in the decisions that affect them. Not to make those decisions all by themselves, but to express their own feelings and outlook and have them taken into account by the adults making decisions on their behalf. After all, the decision is more about the child than it is about you.

 

[Misfit Toy]

My son begged to watch Jurassic Park when he was five. My wife and I decided to give in and watch the DVD with him, fully prepared to turn off the TV or change channels if it got too intense for him. While watching, after several rounds of "if you're scared, we can turn it off..." from my wife, my son walked up to the tv and tapped the screen with his finger, saying "Mommy, this is glass. The dinosaurs aren't really in there. It's not real. It's just a movie."

We held back our laughter and finished watching the movie.

 

[Christopher]

^Yup. Children deserve more faith in their judgment than we tend to give them. But if their judgment goes the other way -- that they're not yet ready to handle something scary -- we should respect that just as much. We shouldn't force them to be what we think they should be.

To put it another way, your son could handle it because he'd figured that out for himself. Another child might not figure it out until later, but still deserves the right to have that understanding come from within.

 

[sojourner]

Hell, I still can't watch The Exorcist or The Shining after sundown.

 

[Gotham Central]

My son begged to watch Jurassic Park when he was five. My wife and I decided to give in and watch the DVD with him, fully prepared to turn off the TV or change channels if it got too intense for him. While watching, after several rounds of "if you're scared, we can turn it off..." from my wife, my son walked up to the tv and tapped the screen with his finger, saying "Mommy, this is glass. The dinosaurs aren't really in there. It's not real. It's just a movie."

We held back our laughter and finished watching the movie.

Now that's a child after my own heart

 

[JarodRussell]

Except that you would have forced a kid that did not want to watch Jurassic Park into watching it, and that glass speech would come from you, and not the kid. Big difference.

 

[Redfern]

Hell, I still can't watch...The Shining after sundown.

Now imagine you're watching it with a group of your peers at a Halloween party and your Sunday School teacher, who also happens to be the preacher for the church itself, sets off a string of firecrackers at the height of a particularly suspenseful scene behind the unsuspecting viewers...and you're the schmuck closest to the pyrotechnics!

No, I didn't soil myself, but I think I "flatlined" for about 5 to 10 seconds! And I was about 22, maybe 23 at the time.

Sincerely,

Bill

 

[ichab]

He's six, he'll grow out of it. First Contact was a PG-13 movie if I'm not mistaken. I saw Jurassic Park in theaters when I was six, but that doesn't mean any six year old can see it. He's in first grade! Can he watch live-action kids movies?

Damn I feel old.

When I was that age werewolves use to scare me. Particuarly the transformation scenes.