How early should you send wedding invitations?

[RoJoHen]

I'm not getting married, but a couple of my friends are, supposedly in July. We're not really sure because they keep not sending invitations. We're all getting to a point where we're not even sure if we're going to be able to attend because we have no idea what date it's happening.

The groom is also being very non-committed to the bachelor party. We keep coming up with plans, and he either knocks them down, or (more recently) refuses to say yes to a date. We're getting tired of it. We've chosen a weekend for his bachelor party, and we decided we're going with or without him.

They live in Ohio right now, but they're from Illinois, but we don't even know where the wedding is going to be. We don't know if we have to drive to Chicago...or Cleveland...or somewhere else. I know it's their wedding and we should be supportive, but if they don't get the ball rolling soon they might not have any guests show up!

 

[Scout101]

Lame. As soon as you get the details ironed out, for the save the date cards (maybe 9 months to a year, if people have to travel and things book up), and about 3 months for formal invitations. gotta have time for them to get there, get responses, sort meal requests, seating plan, details with caterer/venue, etc.

Your friends are being jerks

 

[Jadzia]

I think if invitations are sent out, then around 3 and 4 months beforehand is enough time for everyone to organise any other commitments and prepare for the day. People typically book summer holidays/vacations that far in advance, so there is a serious risk of clashing with those if you send invitations out with short notice. If a couple expect someone to attend, it is polite to give them time to prepare.

If people refuse to set a date, it may mean they are not serious about getting married, and maybe not serious about their relationship. Don't be surprised if they part their ways within the next month or two.

 

[SmoothieX]

We sent ours out about 2 months in advance. Seemed to work out just fine.

 

[RoJoHen]

If people refuse to set a date, it may mean they are not serious about getting married, and maybe not serious about their relationship. Don't be surprised if they part their ways within the next month or two.

Nah, they're just very flakey people. They've been dating forever and have practically been married for several years anyway. They're not breaking up anytime soon.

I'm pretty sure they know the date. They've just been really lazy about getting it all organized. I just want an official piece of paper to tell me when and where it's happening.

 

[mari]

I got an invitation two days ago for a July 3 wedding. We got save-the-date cards back in February. That was reasonable, considering it's a holiday weekend in the summer.

Sounds like your friends plan on hitting town hall to sign the paperwork, then texting everyone to say, "We're married, who wants to go out for drinks?" Then in a year they'll have a "vow renewal ceremony" with the church and the dress and the gift registry. And you'll never, ever get a thank you note for the gift.

 

[RoJoHen]

Sounds like your friends plan on hitting town hall to sign the paperwork, then texting everyone to say, "We're married, who wants to go out for drinks?" Then in a year they'll have a "vow renewal ceremony" with the church and the dress and the gift registry. And you'll never, ever get a thank you note for the gift.

I'm half-expecting to be invited to via Facebook and having to click Attending/Not Attending/Maybe.

It would be less annoying if they had sent out Save-the-Date cards, but they didn't.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

We sent ours out about 2 months in advance. Seemed to work out just fine.

I think that's the common time frame people give.

Maybe he is waffling on the bachelor party because the girlfriend doesn't want him to have one?

 

[RoJoHen]

We sent ours out about 2 months in advance. Seemed to work out just fine.

I think that's the common time frame people give.

Maybe he is waffling on the bachelor party because the girlfriend doesn't want him to have one?

I have a feeling this is at least partially true. What's stupid about that, though, is that we are as good of friends with her as we are with him. She knows how we behave, and she knows we wouldn't let him do anything irresponsible. We just want to go to a frickin' baseball game, for god's sake!

 

[Kestra]

Two months is a good typical cut-off date. These days, most people do at least some informal save-the-date in advance.

If you know the wedding is still on and you know you're going to be invited, why not just ask them? Say you're making plans for the summer and wanted to make sure you weren't going to miss out on their wedding.

If you're not certain that you will be invited, then don't do this. Because the invitations went out and you didn't get one.

 

[RoJoHen]

If you're not certain that you will be invited, then don't do this. Because the invitations went out and you didn't get one.

If this is the case, then nobody is invited!

 

[propita]

Because we invited no one but my parents, we mailed out wedding announcements the day after we got married. Specifically requesting no gifts, but just to let people know that we made it official.

No honeymoon besides going to Disneyland's Club 33 for our wedding dinner--Hubby was in school and we had no money for one. The day after we married, I went to Social Security office and changed my name.

 

[Finn]

Wow. Our wedding is next May and we set the date late last summer. Yeah. Ask them bluntly.

 

[auntiehill]

I believe the minimum standard is usually 6 weeks. Anything less than that is rather rude, I think.

People have lives, jobs, and families; they need plenty of time to reschedule things so they can be their for YOU. I know many employers--like mine--make schedules at least a month in advance, so you need a lot of advance notice to rearrange things.

 

[Scout101]

Even that's pretty last minute, unless the whole thing is local, with easy/cheap travel requirements.

Hell, think for my wedding, i need a pretty close headcount for the food about 30 days out, so sending the invites 6 weeks out wouldn't work at all. Makes it tough if anyone has to fly, as well.

My Save the Date magnets went out almost a year ahead of time (wedding is Columbus Day weekend in a touristy area), to make sure people had plenty of time for travel arrangements, hotels, didn't make other plans, etc. Planning on sending the formal invitations by late June, so just a touch over 3 months before.

 

[Holdfast]

Like everyone else has said, if it's even remotely formal, or if they're expecting people to travel a long distance, then 2-3 months is a polite minimum. 3-6 months is probably better, I'd have thought. Certainly, most of the weddings I've been invited too, the invites have arrived 4+ months or so out from the date itself.

 

[Kestra]

My Save the Date magnets went out almost a year ahead of time (wedding is Columbus Day weekend in a touristy area), to make sure people had plenty of time for travel arrangements, hotels, didn't make other plans, etc.

I still haven't gotten mine. I'll be expecting an invitation from you in June.

 

[RoJoHen]

Holy crap, I got an invitation! And not just a facebook invitation. A real one!

 

[Holdfast]

And now you know they read this board.......

 

[spinnerlys]

So when is it then? This June or the next one?