How do you tell a loved one they can't cook?

[bbjeg]

I work part time while I go to school. I can't afford to cater nor am I a good cook myself.

Since you have nothing better to offer than the food you scorn, just eat it, and enjoy the company. And maybe someday treat your mother and yourself to a cooking class together.

I'm sure I'm going to enjoy the company more, but that's the point, right? Also classes sounds like a good idea.

 

[Kestra]

Not being able to buy fresh vegetables? That is a damn shame.

There used to be a real store with real food that I could walk to, about 4 blocks away, but they closed 4 or 5 years ago. That left a small business convenience store, but even buying refrigerated items like milk or burritos is a risk there in terms of freshness. After a year or so, another store opened up that at first stocked only canned goods, but eventually added refrigerated and freezer cases, but the selection for everything is limited.

I could take a bus or train to a real grocery, but they're huge football field size stores that you still have to walk 2 or 3 blocks to get to. So those tire me out quickly, especially when I usually only buy no more than $20 worth of stuff. The cost of transit fare has to be added into all that, since a round trip is more than $3. Then of course, it all has to be carried home in one hand since the cane is in the other one, so I have to be aware of the total weight of everything or I can get overly fatigued before I even head home.

There's no way I can stock myself for even a week without multiple trips, which just means more money and more fatigue. A single trip to a big store leaves me exhausted for the rest of the day due to all the walking.

I have a small wheeled canvas trolley I use for the smaller shopping trips. For the large ones, I have the store deliver the order (they charge a $10 fee, but it's worth it to me to not have to worry about running out of something essential because it was too heavy or wouldn't fit in a standard-size bag). And it's nice not to have to argue with the clerks about double-bagging the heavy stuff (since bags aren't remotely as strong as they used to be).

@Kestra: Some stores freak out if people take backpacks past the front entrance - they're absolutely sure anyone carrying a backpack means to shoplift so they forbid people from bringing them. That's the main reason I quit shopping at one of the stores in town - the automatic assumption that if you need a non-standard way of carrying your stuff, you're a thief.

That's too bad. If you're a regular, can't you speak to someone about it? Or you can go the reusable bag route and get ones that fold up so it's not like you're carrying a bunch of big empty bags into the store. The ones I have are surprisingly durable, as I load them up with all sorts of things and they haven't broken yet. They fold up into little balls until you're ready to use them.

 

[Timewalker]

Yeah, backpacks always have to be checked with the clerk here. I have one with little wheels on it I used to use, but it was always a pain in the ass due to having to check it, then ask for it back, and pack it with groceries. I tend to avoid going to more than one store on a shopping trip, as you have to also leave those bags with the clerks. I've been having to do this sort of thing since 1995, which was the last time I had a car, and I can't drive anymore. I'm used to the inconveniences, it does give me a reason to get out of the apartment (otherwise I'd be here 24 hours a day instead of 23), and it's a little bit of exercise a few times a week.

I'm just crabby today because when I went out this morning, someone almost rapidly backed into me while I was walking through a parking lot. If they're close enough I can touch the vehicle with my cane, they're too close. I got the bum knee in 1990 due to some dumbass hitting me when I was in a crosswalk and knocking me 30 feet onto my back, so I'm very wary around vehicles. I average about one close call every week due to driveways and having to cross at least one street. And that's just to walk 3 blocks.

My sympathies to you - I hope your municipality has the sloped corners on the sidewalks so you don't have to risk tripping. I use canes myself, so I know how dangerous it can be to get around where more able-bodied people wouldn't think twice about any potential problems. Your accident sounds scary - I hope the driver who ran into you got serious consequences for what he did.

Does your city have anything like bus or taxi service for the physically disabled? We have an Action Bus here, although it's a pain to use - the trips are first-come, first-served, so I've had the experience of being told, "Sorry, we can't take you to your emergency clinic appointment even though you're feverish and in severe pain, some elderly lady booked a shopping trip 2 weeks ago for this exact time and there's no way we can allow the two of you to ride together even though she'll be the only passenger on board."

There used to be a real store with real food that I could walk to, about 4 blocks away, but they closed 4 or 5 years ago. That left a small business convenience store, but even buying refrigerated items like milk or burritos is a risk there in terms of freshness. After a year or so, another store opened up that at first stocked only canned goods, but eventually added refrigerated and freezer cases, but the selection for everything is limited.

I could take a bus or train to a real grocery, but they're huge football field size stores that you still have to walk 2 or 3 blocks to get to. So those tire me out quickly, especially when I usually only buy no more than $20 worth of stuff. The cost of transit fare has to be added into all that, since a round trip is more than $3. Then of course, it all has to be carried home in one hand since the cane is in the other one, so I have to be aware of the total weight of everything or I can get overly fatigued before I even head home.

There's no way I can stock myself for even a week without multiple trips, which just means more money and more fatigue. A single trip to a big store leaves me exhausted for the rest of the day due to all the walking.

I have a small wheeled canvas trolley I use for the smaller shopping trips. For the large ones, I have the store deliver the order (they charge a $10 fee, but it's worth it to me to not have to worry about running out of something essential because it was too heavy or wouldn't fit in a standard-size bag). And it's nice not to have to argue with the clerks about double-bagging the heavy stuff (since bags aren't remotely as strong as they used to be).

@Kestra: Some stores freak out if people take backpacks past the front entrance - they're absolutely sure anyone carrying a backpack means to shoplift so they forbid people from bringing them. That's the main reason I quit shopping at one of the stores in town - the automatic assumption that if you need a non-standard way of carrying your stuff, you're a thief.

That's too bad. If you're a regular, can't you speak to someone about it? Or you can go the reusable bag route and get ones that fold up so it's not like you're carrying a bunch of big empty bags into the store. The ones I have are surprisingly durable, as I load them up with all sorts of things and they haven't broken yet. They fold up into little balls until you're ready to use them.

I've never seen bags like that. I do take used plastic bags with me, as some stores use tiny little bags, or I want extra padding if I buy something breakable. The reusables you can get around here all have store advertising on them, and I prefer not to be a walking billboard for them.

There are three stores where I do grocery shopping, and all of them allow me to put my wheeled trolley into the regular shopping cart as long as I don't put any purchases in them before paying (I trust their security cameras would prove that I'm not a shoplifter). There was an incident at the store I use most often... it was a newer clerk who had the idea that it was acceptable for her to grab my trolley and start inspecting it, without so much as a "Do you mind if I check this". If she'd asked beforehand I would have said okay, but I object to clerks just grabbing my stuff and looking through it.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

The trolley things they have here are very crappy. I've never understood it, you see women in their 80's dragging these things around with tiny crappy wheels, loaded with kilos of items, no ability to turn it. They should make them like they do the new strollers these days, designed for lightness and durability. You can push the strollers with one hand even with a 3 year old in it.. this would be fantastic for a shopping cart. In teacake's world without cars these would be the norm! I have planned these in my mind for a long time

Do any of the big stores state do online delivery Melakon? I can get anything delivered here online, you order vegetables by weight etc.. I had problems with it last time I tried to use it (getting delivered the wrong items, but they do fix this) but at least it's available, for a nominal fee.

 

[Captain Ice]

I don't know about the cart/backpack thing, but in a lot of stores here you can purchase a small, folding shopping cart for about $40 that has wheels on it. I drive a bus for a senior living community and see a number of the ladies using these to carry any number of items through the malls. They look very handy, and grocery stores should not have any issue with them as they are almost exactly like the store's carts, only smaller.

 

[Melakon]

Well, I'm in a better mood than I was earlier today. About 2 hours ago, a friend delivered something that (shall we say) put me in a different state of mind. Like I said before, it was a day that didn't start off well. The next few months are always rough for me due to seasonal depression, but I'll be good for a few weeks.

 

[Spider]

I just add salt to my Mom's cooking and tell her she's great. It way to much trouble otherwise.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Sriracha. Liberally applied. Will fix anything.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

I work part time while I go to school. I can't afford to cater nor am I a good cook myself.

Since you have nothing better to offer than the food you scorn, just eat it, and enjoy the company. And maybe someday treat your mother and yourself to a cooking class together.

That's a cool idea! You'd be doing something together and it might actually be a lot of fun.
Or you could suggest that you could try out diferent/new recipes for Thanksgiving together. If you make it look like you're trying to take some of the workload off her and at the same time spend more time with her, she is very likely to buy it.

Is all her cooking terrible? If there's something she is really good at, you should tell her so. She might get the hint and cook that for Thanksgiving. (if she doesn't, just ask her if she could cook it for you. She'll feel flattered.)

 

[bbjeg]

No luck on the Thanksgiving pizza.

 

[Timewalker]

No luck on the Thanksgiving pizza.

That's too bad. If she's still determined to cook next year and isn't open to the cooking lessons ideas others have suggested, maybe now would be a good time to start saving for a catered meal for next year.

 

[nureintier]

Hope you are all right today, bbjeg...

 

[Fatal Einstein]

You buy the bad cook a good cook book. Allow some time for reading and applying lessons.

 

[bbjeg]

Hope you are all right today, bbjeg...

This Thanksgiving was one of her good days (though I filled up more on my mashed potatoes, and a green bean casserole and an apple pie that relatives brought). Her food was pretty good and not as bad as I thought it would be.

You buy the bad cook a good cook book. Allow some time for reading and applying lessons.

I got her a Kindle (with a gift card for purchasing books) that she never uses. Classes would be my best bet.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

You buy the bad cook a good cook book. Allow some time for reading and applying lessons.

That would be a bit too straightforward, I fear. Mothers are highly explosive matter that must be handled with care

 

[bbjeg]

^So true, especially with my mother.

 

[Sector 7]

I can't imagine telling a loved one that they can't cook. I mean maybe I'd give constructive advice if they asked, but otherwise I keep my mouth shut and eat what's put in front of me.

Same here.

lol I learned how to cook because I developed a fear of my children being at my funeral discussing how I couldn't cook

I work part time while I go to school. I can't afford to cater nor am I a good cook myself.

Since you have nothing better to offer than the food you scorn, just eat it, and enjoy the company. And maybe someday treat your mother and yourself to a cooking class together.

This is a good idea.

Sriracha. Liberally applied. Will fix anything.

...including constipation!

My suggestion would be a smoked turkey. These are pre-cooked and not very expensive. ALDI had Butterball Smoked Turkeys at a good price. I fed 6 people with plenty left over for sandwiches, turkey salad, etc. for about $20.

I just warmed it in the oven @ 325 degrees F for about 2 hours. You can also grill it or served thawed... it's ready to eat.

Last year, my brother told me he hated my homemade stuffing. He told me he likes Stove-Top much better. I was a little hurt, but 10 minutes versus 2 hours of prep & baking is much easier on me.

I cook all our holiday meals. Thanksgiving consists of candied yams, green bean casserole, dressing/stuffing, cranberry sauce and rolls... plus the smoked turkey. At Christmas, we have ham instead of turkey... everything else is the same. [My family is very steadfastly traditional = boring!]

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Now I want some turkey. And some yams. And someone else to cook for me.

 

[Sector 7]

Now I want some turkey. And some yams. And someone else to cook for me.

Come on over and I'll cook for you, my dear Ms. teacake.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

:: books the plane ticket ::

Wait a minute.. it's winter there right? I don't know if I can hack it. Maybe I'll just go get some Chinese.