How do you feel about Valentines Day?

[Kestra]

I think the whole point is that if you're being excluded, you're the one doing it to yourself since there are many ways to celebrate.

Even doing the thread on TBBS, I noticed that there are always a few people who complain about not getting valentines but never sent any, either. I personally don't make a big deal out of the day in RL.

 

[thestrangequark]

^Exactly!

To be fair, isn't that the point? I mean it's one thing to be invited to the party and have the option of not going. It's another to be left out and not have a choice at all. One is more likely to induce stronger emotions than the other.

Of course you have a choice: throw your own fucking party.

If Valentine's day fills someone with so much bitterness that they are genuinely upset by it, then I'm not surprised they're single.

WOW that seems…harsh

It wasn't directed at you!

I suppose, some folks have no idea what its like to feel excluded.

Of course we do, but we are also mature enough to deal with it.

Let me qualify all this by saying that it's not people who feel a bit glum and excluded on Valentine's Day who annoy me, it's the people who make a huge deal of it, wallowing in public self-pity (of whom there are far too many), who annoy me.

 

[Gotham Central]

On one level I think why do you need a speical day to show someone how much you care about, but if it makes them happy good for them. That being a single person, I can sometimes find valentines day, one of the hardest on a emotional level. Don't get me wrong except for a few days of the year I usually don't mind that I'm single, however that doesn't mean I wouldn't like someone to share my life with.

That makes complete sense.

 

[Gotham Central]

^Exactly!

Of course you have a choice: throw your own fucking party.

If Valentine's day fills someone with so much bitterness that they are genuinely upset by it, then I'm not surprised they're single.

WOW that seems…harsh

It wasn't directed at you!

I suppose, some folks have no idea what its like to feel excluded.

Of course we do, but we are also mature enough to deal with it.

Let me qualify all this by saying that it's not people who feel a bit glum and excluded on Valentine's Day who annoy me, it's the people who make a huge deal of it, wallowing in public self-pity (of whom there are far too many), who annoy me.

I meant harsh in general…not in a personal way

 

[Davros]

If Valentine's day fills someone with so much bitterness that they are genuinely upset by it, then I'm not surprised they're single.

It's unlikely that they started out bitter about it.

 

[thestrangequark]

^Yes...that is the nature of bitterness.

Sorry if it sounds harsh, Gotham but it's true. It takes a lot of energy to be so miserable about something as frivolous as Valentine's Day, and do you know what happens if you put effort into being miserable? You are miserable.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

I suppose, some folks have no idea what its like to feel excluded.

Look where you're at. This is TrekBBS, son.

Lots of people know what it's like to feel excluded. They have the usual up days and down days accordingly. But no one is forcing you to invest so much angst into this one, arbitrary day. If you don't like Valentine's, treat it like any other day. If you don't like your current situation, do something constructive to change it, romantically or not. Only you can give the day some kind of power to make you feel miserable. It's just a day, like any other.

 

[Pondwater]

Indifferent. It was fun back in Elementray and Middle school and I have an entertaining story on what happend senior year. As an adult, I've never celebrated it with someone, even when I had boyfriends. 14 February has a different meaning to me anyway. :-)

Now I'm curious…what happened senior year?

The Beta club did a rose drive to where you could buy roses for people. And they would be delivered during sixth period on Valentine's Day. Well, sixth period came and the roses were delivered and handed out. There were three sets: two single ones that went to other girls and then a half dozen. When it came for the half dozen to be handed out, this popular girl thought they were for her. Turns out that I got a half dozen with the combined efforts from my friends and my brother. She made a mean remark towards me, forgot about what she said but she was MAD. It was entertaining to see someone who was supposed to be a high school senior act like a toddler who was denied a cookie.

 

[Kestra]

I honestly cannot grasp the level of bitterness with which some view the holiday.

Maybe they never got any valentines? All this attention on love isn't much fun for those who don't get any.

Yeah, I'm not seeing why some folks have a hard time grasping that

I think people understand that but think that there are multiple, healthy ways of dealing with that. It's not just about what you receive (or don't receive), but also about what you put out there. There's a million things that you can do on Valentine's Day if you don't have a romantic partner. Throw a party or have a night out with single friends. Spend time with family, send cards or flowers to friends that you care about. Volunteer somewhere, at a shelter or nursing home or wherever. Do something to appreciate someone who has always been there for you or get out there and find someone new. Or just completely ignore the day and go about your business!

Last year, Valentine's Day was particularly shitty for me romance-wise but I didn't actually have a bad Valentine's Day. I had fun playing Cupid and sending out the flowers and messages on TBBS.

 

[HaventGotALife]

When is Valentine's Day? I block it out. Don't celebrate it. No, I won't be your Valentine. Hallmark holiday. The best holidays are the ones you don't plan and they become memories. This is just too contrived for me.

 

[Amaris]

For me, any time is a good time to love somebody, or to express that love. In the past, I hated Valentine's Day, because the pressure and the constant reminders of forever alone were just too stressful on my already over-stressed brain.

So I work to cope with it as best as I can. I don't want to become indifferent to it, because I do have friends who like the holiday, and I don't want to rain on their parade. I'm going to participate in the neat little Valentine's thingy macloudt and Darth Duck will be doing this year (that's sweet of you guys, BTW, to take over so Kestra can have a nice day she so richly deserves).

I guess it all depends on how much love I feel on that day. Any day can be made better when someone tells you they care, and I try to remember that. My difficulty this year will be keeping it down to five people.

So I guess you could say I feel hopeful about Valentine's Day this year. I hope someone remembers just to say hi, or that they care, and I hope that the people I send my Valentines/Virtual Flowers to will know how much I care, and now I'm getting a bit misty eyed, so I'll stop here.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

I hope someone remembers just to say hi, or that they care...

 

[sidious618]

I have a Valentine's Day question, actually, or, rather, a Valentine's Day protocol question. I've just started seeing someone and I'm not sure what to do come Valentine's Day. We're not an official couple yet and while it's possible that'll change before then, if it doesn't I'm not sure what I should do on the day as I don't want to overdo it, but I also don't want to seem heartless. Anyone have an idea for a middle ground that says "I like you, but I'm not crazy and think we're already married!"

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

You know I had this great suggestion for if you're alone and feeling bitter, it was all about buying some small chocolates and handing them out to the people you see daily like in shops or the postman and saying, "hey thanks for your smile every day, hope you have a good one!" Because giving back is a way to fill the hole when no one gives to you.

But. I then remembered the couple Xmas's I was totally alone and I volunteered at a needy person Xmas dinner and washed dishes for hours and hung out with nursing home folk and I felt actually one million times worse. Not about helping, but about being by myself and having no family at Xmas. Remembering this I'm thinking it's best not to be glib and/or pushy about people who are hurting because they have no one. Yes on paper doing something nice seems like a worthy high ground to take but you know it doesn't always help. This topic in particular, even more than Xmas imo, can be very deeply painful.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I have a Valentine's Day question, actually, or, rather, a Valentine's Day protocol question. I've just started seeing someone and I'm not sure what to do come Valentine's Day. We're not an official couple yet and while it's possible that'll change before then, if it doesn't I'm not sure what I should do on the day as I don't want to overdo it, but I also don't want to seem heartless. Anyone have an idea for a middle ground that says "I like you, but I'm not crazy and think we're already married!"

Gesture gift that is shared, chocolate something that is not in heart shape.

 

[Amaris]

I hope someone remembers just to say hi, or that they care...

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I have a Valentine's Day question, actually, or, rather, a Valentine's Day protocol question. I've just started seeing someone and I'm not sure what to do come Valentine's Day. We're not an official couple yet and while it's possible that'll change before then, if it doesn't I'm not sure what I should do on the day as I don't want to overdo it, but I also don't want to seem heartless. Anyone have an idea for a middle ground that says "I like you, but I'm not crazy and think we're already married!"

Gesture gift that is shared, chocolate something that is not in heart shape.

This! Or maybe a nice card that is friendly, maybe a little flirty, but not desperately romantic.

 

[Pingfah]

Well, of course I like it when people find some way to express their attraction to me, or just the fact that they like me, whatever day it is. I would only think well of somebody that went out of their way to do something nice. And if I were dating somebody who cared about it, I would happily indulge them.

As it goes though, the sort of people I am attracted to (and that I seem to attract) often don't care, which suits me fine also.

Just don't buy me chocolate, I hate that. The only way I can resist scoffing chocolate all day every day is by never ever keeping it around the house. I can walk past it in a shop no problem, I cannot walk past it when it is in my fridge.

 

[MacLeod]

A closed chocolate bar/box is easier to resist than an open one.

 

[maneth]

Mostly it's just a day like any other, even if my husband and I try to schedule a dinner at a restaurant for just the two of us for the nearest weekend to the day. I admit I didn't like the day in school much, because I never got any valentines.