Help me spend my tax return...

[Plecostomus]

Stock the bar and wine cellar. If you have neither, buy them

I could start an exclusive collection of over-priced box-wines.

 

[Holdfast]

Hookers and drugs gets my vote.

Seems to be the most popular choice at the moment... but is it the best VALUE?

Depends how cut the drugs are and how used the hookers are.

I could get into a "knee of the curve" value discussion, but hooker knees are usually red raw.

 

[JonathonWally]

I'm a classic kinda guy, so hookers and blow all the way.

I mean, I even recommend it in my sig

 

[Miss Chicken]

I think you should use it to travel. Maybe a 2 week holiday in Australia?

 

[trampledamage]

Buy an island - set yourself up as a benevolent dictator.

 

[Mallory]

I'd bank it for now. When your wife comes home minus a leg you might run into some expenses you hadn't expected.

 

[Miss Chicken]

Buy an island - set yourself up as a benevolent dictator.

His tax return is only going to be 5 digits. That wouldn't buy much of an island.

 

[Captain Ice]

I'd bank it for now. When your wife comes home minus a leg you might run into some expenses you hadn't expected.

I would take some of it and do as she wishes, with the caveat being that I would try to pick out something that she can also enjoy while she's home recuperating. So leave that Fender Stratocaster sitting at the store and buy a nice HDTV with some of it.

Then I'd do as Mallory suggests and put the rest in a savings account until she's home ok and you know how much your share of the bills is going to come to.

Thirdly, I would talk to the HR department where you work and adjust my witholding so that this does not happen again next year. Leave enough witholding that you should get $500 or so back, but make sure you're bringing the rest home. No sense at all in giving Uncle Sam a zero interest loan when that same money can sit in the bank and earn interest or be used to pay down debt.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Ok, wife had her operation and everything is ok so far... she's got an epic case of the lolwhuts from the knockout concoction and pain killers but they said she's doing well last time I called for an update.

I'm glad everything is going well. Best wishes to her.

Those are my instructions. "Spend it on something to keep yourself amused while I am in the hospital."

Let's see. You could purchase some fun posters or books or whatever from somebody with a small, struggling internet business.

You could invest in a direct-to-DVD erotic horror movie (it's fun ).

You could take your wife on a vacation or cruise or something to help her recuperate.

You could grab up a nice foreclosure property.

You could buy TrekBBS and give all the Mods a raise and a pension.

And then there's always high-yield diversified funds.

 

[Plecostomus]

Those are my instructions. "Spend it on something to keep yourself amused while I am in the hospital."

Let's see. You could purchase some fun posters or books or whatever from somebody with a small, struggling internet business.

Indeed.

You could invest in a direct-to-DVD erotic horror movie (it's fun ).

I currently enjoy the companionship of an Erotic Horror who makes sure I take my meds on time... and her name is Sook. Why would I want to watch it on TV?

You could take your wife on a vacation or cruise or something to help her recuperate.

For sure, I was actually considering this. Got to be somewhere one-legged-chick accessible though.

You could grab up a nice foreclosure property.

The amount I'm getting back would get me a used hot-dog stand in Hookers-And-Blow-ville downtown. 'fraid I don't have much use for that. Hookers can eat somewhere else and I'm not putting powered topping on your biscuit.

You could buy TrekBBS and give all the Mods a raise and a pension.

Again, I might be able to afford a portion of it. If I am going to rule, I want to rule the WHOLE board.

And then there's always high-yield diversified funds.

Investment products? In this market? I think the digital toilet option makes more sense at this point.

 

[Plecostomus]

I'd bank it for now. When your wife comes home minus a leg you might run into some expenses you hadn't expected.

Would you believe that her father is taking care of "everything?" Everything. Hospital-bill, remods to the house, mods to her car when she's recovered enough to drive... Everything.

He insists. Says this is not my problem that she had this issue (without the amputation) before and he is just finishing his obligation to see her through this, that the NEXT major medical issue is mine to deal with.

That's why she can sit back and tell me to waste this return on cheap imported crap & stuff.

 

[Mallory]

Fair enough. I just remember coming home from my transplant and there being a hundred little things that needed to be handled.

 

[Plecostomus]

Fair enough. I just remember coming home from my transplant and there being a hundred little things that needed to be handled.

That's what I hesitate to just up and waste it despite my instructions to do so.

With the economy the way it is three months from now we might end up wishing we still had the money instead of the new laptop/vacation/books/TV/digital toilet.

 

[Lindley]

Investment products? In this market? I think the digital toilet option makes more sense at this point.

I would have thought this would be an exceptional time to buy. Everything's cheap. Get quite a return when things start to recover.

Not that I actually take my own advice or anything, but that's mainly because financial stuff intimidates me and I leave it to my accountant.

 

[Plecostomus]

Investment products? In this market? I think the digital toilet option makes more sense at this point.

I would have thought this would be an exceptional time to buy. Everything's cheap. Get quite a return when things start to recover.

Not that I actually take my own advice or anything, but that's mainly because financial stuff intimidates me and I leave it to my accountant.

The problem is, as bad as things are NOW they CAN get MUCH worse. So playing the market even long term is not really a viable option. I'm much too skittish and paranoid.

 

[Hoser]

The problem is, as bad as things are NOW they CAN get MUCH worse. So playing the market even long term is not really a viable option. I'm much too skittish and paranoid.

I think your instincts are solid. Stick it somewhere safe, don't blow it on something stupid. This isn't the year to do that.

I know, for one, I'll be using mine to search out of state for jobs.

So yeah, get something fun to play with right now (like that erotic sandwich), but bank the majority.

 

[RJDiogenes]

For sure, I was actually considering this. Got to be somewhere one-legged-chick accessible though.

National Parks.

Would you believe that her father is taking care of "everything?" Everything. Hospital-bill, remods to the house, mods to her car when she's recovered enough to drive... Everything.

What a nice guy.

The problem is, as bad as things are NOW they CAN get MUCH worse. So playing the market even long term is not really a viable option. I'm much too skittish and paranoid.

I think your instincts are solid. Stick it somewhere safe, don't blow it on something stupid. This isn't the year to do that.

I agree. That's why I specified high-yield diversified funds. Income now, growth over time, low risk.

 

[broberfett]

Hawaii. Maybe you'll find one of those tiki statues.

 

[Plecostomus]

Would you believe that her father is taking care of "everything?" Everything. Hospital-bill, remods to the house, mods to her car when she's recovered enough to drive... Everything.

What a nice guy.

I was insulted at first, I mean what you don't think I can take care of your daughter? But as he explains it she has had ongoing leg-issues this is just the latest in a long line of leg-related problems and that he'd "foot the bill" (see what I did there) for everything, because the doctors assured him LAST time that she wouldn't have a relapse.


I think I'm going to buy an MT3-ER32 Shank-Type Collet Chuck and some ER32 collets and stash the rest. The erotic sandwich idea is tempting but I have a feeling we'll need the rest for SOMETHING in the not too distant future.

"Gee, Beloved Husband... if we only had one of these *shows catalog* life would be so much easier on me!"

"Quite right, but its $3,600. I'm just short."

"That's too bad. By the way how's that erotic sandwich from the national park?"

"Not bad. Needs more mustard though."

 

[Hoser]

I think I'm going to buy an MT3-ER32 Shank-Type Collet Chuck and some ER32 collets and stash the rest.

Heh, I used to have something very similar to that holding up my bookshelf. It was one that was scragged by a coworker who subtracted instead of added.
You should've seen the drill.