Harry's Bar: Under New Management

[Captain Ice]

I will behave, I promise

Behaving is vastly overrated.


Ice is out making his daily rounds when his radio squawks to life. Gunshots in Harry's Bar? Man, I thought that place was closed for good. Someone must be looking for a convenient place to stash a body where it'll never be found again. Well, I gotta go check it out anyway....

*heads off in the direction of the bar*

 

[Santaman]

You can't keep a good bar closed... as for shooting... yeah yeah, but they threathened with karaoke, also I'm out of ammo for my bazooka...

 

[T'Bonz]

One beat-up Romulan scout ship arrives at an unnamed and best-forgotten planet.

T'Bonz staggers into Harry's Bar - bleary-eyed, and well after noon (is morning that time when the glowy-thing in the sky is out?). Her head is pounding from yesterday's party on another unnamed backwaters planet.

"What, this place is still around? I heard it but I couldn't believe it. It's been years."

*Looks around.*

"Ah, Revdkathy.....and WAIT...that SCURVY PIRATE GOT HERE BEFORE I DID?!!"

"Somehow, that doesn't surprise me."

**Looks around again and sees a bunch of newbies**

**lobs an empty ale bottle in their general direction.**

Vah-udt lloann'na veruuls!

 

[Captain Ice]

Ice walks through the door and immediately ducks a flying ale bottle.

"I guess it must be true then....."

Ice grabs a nearby empty chair and fires it back at the person who threw the bottle, then he grabs an upended table, uses it as a shield, and heads toward the bar to figure out who fired the gun. Spotting Santaman in the crowd, he diverts toward him.

"Show me the shotgun. Now."

 

[RevdKathy]

RevdKathy slams a mace on the bar and roars for silence.

"This here place is for socialising, not smashing each other!"

She opens another giant keg of Romulan Ale and fits a hose for serving at speed, and starts whipping up mysterious cocktails that change colour, temperature and taste as you drink them. She subtly adjusts the toxicity levels. And serves chocolate muffins as a sweetener.

"You guys need to have a drink and chill out a bit."

 

[Santaman]

*Looks at T'Banzai* BWAHAHAHAAA!! yer ship is old and slow, of course mine be faster, aye! fitted a class 13 long cycle antimatter/matter drive system to the old girl, he he he...

Cap'n Icy? shotgun? pirates don't use shotguns, this be a hand cannon!!

And I still have no ammo for me bazooka...

Rum.. need rum, nothing less than a 21 year old Eldorado..

 

[Deranged Nasat]

While one day a-walking, his mood down and low,
The Nasat decided he'd nowhere to go
So aimlessly drifting, to pass away time,
He stepped to the pavement, and trudged through the grime
Bleak 'twas, and rainy, but just when it seemed
There's no point in trying, as if from a dream
There on the left an establishment rose
Quite where it came from, God only knows.
Commotion, it sounded, a bar out of hand
And drawn by an urge he did not understand,
The Nasat walked over and opened the door
A dirty old place he'd not been in before
And people he knew, but hadn't yet seen
Drunk off their ass or else smiling serene,
And thought "now I've found it, a good place to stay"
And settled him down for the rest of the day.

 

[Shanndee]

You can't keep a good bar closed... as for shooting... yeah yeah, but they threathened with karaoke, also I'm out of ammo for my bazooka...

You can't stop me! You can't! **quickly grabs a serving tray from the bar to use as a shield, clears throat, and sings (horribly off key):**

"You'll have to excuse me
I'm not at my best.
I've been gone for a month
I've been drunk since I left.
These so called vacations will soon be my death...
I'm so sick from the drink, I need home for a rest..."

 

[Santaman]

Let me demonstrate the best ever non lethal weapon...

*Whacks Shandee on the head with a cast iron frying pan.* "DING!!!"

There! Anyone else who thinks he or she be an Idols contestant? $@R$!#@!#@!!!

 

[Deckerd]

That's my frying pan. Bob gave it to me.

 

[Aurian]

*Wanders into the bar to observe the chaos while sipping a drink or two.. or more..*

 

[Santaman]

*Tickles Aurian.*

Bob needs to find his own pan, this one is MINE, used it since Sarek opened the first bar thread...

 

[Mary Ann]

*observes the fighting with a bored look while dodging the occasional frying pan, which is maddeningly devoid of bacon*

*pulls out knitting, settles into chair, and resumes work on a sock-in-progress*

Barkeep, a Romulan Ale spritzer with a little paper umbrella and a bendy straw, please. And will somebody please get around to cooking the damned bacon!

 

[Shanndee]

*Shanndee slowly raises her head, unsure how she ended up on the floor. She watches the cartoon style stars and birds that are inexplicably circling her head. She thinks, "oh, how pretty...and how tiny..."*

Tiny. Birds. Flying.

In full (badly off key) voice she croaks:

"Spread your tiny wings and fly away
And take the snow back with you
Where it came from on that day
The one I love forever is untrue
And if I could you know that I would
Fly away with you"

...wait...did someone say bacon?...wanders away in search of bacon.

 

[T'Bonz]

RevdKathy slams a mace on the bar and roars for silence.

"This here place is for socialising, not smashing each other!"

Sez who? That's half the fun!

 

[Orac Zen]

*** wanders in ***

*** jabs pirate with cattle prod ***

*** orders a Guinness; observes the unfolding silliness ***

 

[RevdKathy]

*Yawn*... Is it breakfast time yet? Pass me a bacon sarnie. And a large (large) glass of orange juice.

 

[Deckerd]

Everyone forgets fighting and coos over the nest of bear cubs Orac brought in.

 

[Santaman]

*** wanders in ***

*** jabs pirate with cattle prod ***

*** orders a Guinness; observes the unfolding silliness ***

*pours guiness down Orac's neck..*

 

[Mary Ann]

Ooh, that wasn't a smart thing to do. Those cute little fuzzy bear cubs move fast, don't they?

*fetches a mop and bucket to clean up what's left of Santaman*