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Happy birthday, Connor Trinneer - his views on relationships

Every classic Trek includes a major bromance, which has undoubtedly generated a fine assortment of fanfics that ship them.

I'd be curious to know which of these pairings has the strongest following... probably Kirk/Spock, just because it has been around the longest.
 
I more saw DS9's bromance as Miles/Bashir, one that would not really be much of a ship because Miles is married and Bashir's Jadzia fetish made it pretty clear that he was straight.
 
by that point, I'd Hope you could like who you like and nobody would care if it was male/female/tentacle .. who cares! :)

Love Connor, wish he'd pop up more in shows.
 
I'm not saying people have to care, by any means. Just that by observing Dr. Bashir's behavior, specifically toward Jadzia, it indicated a strong attraction to females. Not saying he couldn't have been bi-curious, or gone both ways, by any means.

Still, I rather like the notion of Bashir being straight and Garak having an unrequited interest in him. That is, undoubtedly, a big part of the gay experience: being attracted to someone who's just not "wired" to return your feelings.
 
You can also have 2 guys, or 2 girls or even guy and girl, be the bestest of freinds, even a form of love, without it getting romantic, physical or anything like that type of relationship.
Miles and Bashir had that type.
 
I'm not saying people have to care, by any means. Just that by observing Dr. Bashir's behavior, specifically toward Jadzia, it indicated a strong attraction to females. Not saying he couldn't have been bi-curious, or gone both ways, by any means.

Still, I rather like the notion of Bashir being straight and Garak having an unrequited interest in him. That is, undoubtedly, a big part of the gay experience: being attracted to someone who's just not "wired" to return your feelings.

^^this, the most.

Shipping on its own is boring. Unrequited love can add the drama and then everyone gets on with things. Sorta like with Bashir drooling over Dax, who wasn't interested in turn and he moved on. Being bi just means being turned down by twice as many people.

The Kinsey Scale alone, never mind the newer table that supersedes it, shows a range of desires - from exclusively heterosexual to exclusively homosexual. Someone can be a Kinsey 1, being interested in mostly females, but one or two males just has what's interesting... vice-versa for a Kinsey 5, it's all good. Not being a Kinsey 3.5 has got to be possibly unnerving for many who are... not to mention open relationships, honesty in communication (especially if one has "battle damage" (oh, okay, STI... and/or an existing partner)), and so on. The scale makes it all seem so simple. It isn't...
 
It's a decent tool for allowing basic understanding. I read a story about a person who was a practicing heterosexual for years, never thought much about it... until his brother came out to him. Then, he started to wonder. It turned out that yes, he did prefer same-sex relationships. He would probably have been about a 4 on the scale.

I expect some people like him simply choose to live their lives as straight, maybe due to family, faith, fear of ostracism, personal prejudice, or because they want to have children.
 
It's scary and disheartening to me how many guys even in this day and age do the get married and have kids thing and then either live a life of denying what they really want or end up cheating on their partner to get what they really want.

Even worse if they have kids first.
 
Well, consider a choice that a hypothetical man in a conservative state and background might have to make. If he lives straight...
● He and his parents remain close. He doesn't have to fear isolation, rejection, or getting cut out of their will.
● He can continue to worship at the church he's always attended. Yes, some churches are LGBTQ affirming, but others at least require that a gay-oriented individual abstain from sex.
● His buddies remain his buddies, no worries about ostracism or even harm (like if you're showering with other men and you happen to look the wrong way).
● He can have children without dealing with the extreme difficult and time consuming issue of adoption.
● And because he goes both ways, he can make sex with a woman work, even if he doesn't find it as fulfilling.
● He might understand on some level that staying closeted might hurt other LGBTQ people who are trying to stand up for their rights, but he doesn't want to suffer for an ideal. He just wants to do his job, raise his kids, live his life.

I can totally understand such a person remaining closeted, and I hope you can as well.
 
I never said I was blaming them, just that I found it scary and disheartening and I hope at some point in the future it will no longer be an issue. Society has given them a Kobayashi Maru.
 
The kids problem will remain, for males anyway. With legalized abortion, legitimized single motherhood, and reliable and readily available birth control... adopting kids isn't near as easy as it used to be.
 
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