Getting old sucks.

[Trippy]

Cheers to the March babies!

That said, I'm a few years behind, but I've really noticed the changes since I turned forty. When they say 'it's downhill from here' they ain't kidding! I'm getting hot flashes, I get tired so easily now I'm snoozing by 9pm (not to mention that I'm in constant pain, but that's another thread). I have a 12 YEAR OLD SON!!! I swear he was just a baby yesterday, and now he's starting puberty!

So yes, growing old sucks, and yes, it beats the alternative!

I've accomplished a lot, though, and wouldn't give up one year

 

[Lookingglassman]

I'll be 44 in May and I can feel every year of my age. All of my best years are behind me and I really got nothing to look forward too except to get older and sicker. I'm ready to keel over and kick the bucket right now just to get it over with.

I dont want to be the old coot driving 20 miles in the left lane in a 55 MPH zone or taking forever to pay a cashier. I dont like old people and I loath becoming one of them.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

First off, happy Birthday JETFIRE! And you're wrong. A lot of people DO care.

FLUKIE: My deepest condolences on all the losses you've had. As far as getting old... i hear ya. I turned 53 in Nov and for the first time i can really relate to what Picard says about having more years behind him that ahead of him. It is very true for me.

I'd like to share a story with you. A couple of years ago i was at the haircutters...waiting my turn to be taken. I'm sitting in a chair, reading a magazine when i look up and see this young guy staring at me. He was GORGEOUS! And my heart starts to flutter a little bit. I mean, here i am, this old lady and this guy is looking at me....with something in his eyes. I try to focus on the article i'm reading but every now and then i look up and there he is ...staring at me. He gets up, slowly walks over to me and i am freaking out!! My heart starts to pound....he stands right in front of me and says, "HI MRS M!!"

He was one of my son's old high school friends!

*sigh*

Remember, growing old is mandatory....growing up is optional!

 

[RandyS]

Due to my CP, I've never known what health is, but I can definately relate to slowing down. I'll be 40 next month, and I can't do half the shit I did ten years ago. My problem is, Whenever I lose an ability, I can never tell if it's because I'm getting older, or because I'm disabled.

Doesn't matter though, I've discovered the secret to eternal life, and for a small fee of $200.00, I'll pass it on.

 

[Holdfast]

From Nagel's superb little essay on Death:

The trouble is that life familiarizes us with the goods of which death deprives us. We are already able to appreciate them... If we put aside doubts about their status as goods and grant that their quantity is in part a function of their duration, the question remains whether death, no matter when it occurs, can be said to deprive its victim of what is in the relevant sense a possible continuation of life.

The situation is an ambiguous one. Observed from without, human beings obviously have a natural lifespan and cannot live much longer than a hundred years. A man's sense of his own experience, on the other hand, does not embody this idea of a natural limit. His existence defines for him an essentially open-ended possible future, containing the usual mixture of goods and evils that he has found so tolerable in the past. Having been gratuitously introduced to the world by a collection of natural, historical, and social accidents, he finds himself the subject of a life, with an indeterminate and not essentially limited future. Viewed in this way, death, no matter how inevitable, is an abrupt cancellation of indefinitely extensive possible goods. Normality seems to have nothing to do with it, for the fact that we will all inevitably die in a few score years cannot by itself imply that it would be good to live longer. Suppose that we were all inevitably going to die in agony -- physical agony lasting six months. Would inevitability make that prospect any less unpleasant? And why should it be different for a deprivation? If the normal lifespan were a thousand years, death at 80 would be a tragedy. As things are, it may just be a more widespread tragedy. If there is no limit to the amount of life that it would be good to have, then it may be that a bad end is in store for us all.

The only way I can see out of this impasse of mortality is to try to live now rather than in the future, because the future holds only death. As Epicurus said:

He speaks idly who says the he fears death, not because it will be painful when present but because it is painful in anticipation. For if something causes no distress when present, it is fruitless to be pained by the expectation of it.

Thus one should acknowledge, but then move past, fears of mortality and death through the most expedient means for you as an individual. Some will find solace in family, others in nature, others in games and hobbies (including financial games such as building one's bank balance) and others in charity, etc, etc. As long as it is done with insight - and not just from blind avoidance of the fear (and thus subsuming of your personal identity in the process, only for it to emerge later, and painfully) - I think they're all valid techniques.

I'm only in my thirties, so this is all relatively easy for me at the moment. But hopefully I'll get enough ongoing practice at thinking this way for it to be almost tolerable as the years pass...

 

[Amaris]

Flukie, don't even think your sense of humor is going, you are a truly funny man.

As for me, I turn 30 on the 17th of this month. It has been bothering me for months. At 30 years of age, I have no place of my own, I have no degree (aside from my HS Diploma), I have no girlfriend, I have no job, I have no real free time, I have no great experiences, I have no lasting love, I have no peace. I do have high blood pressure, I do have diabetes, I do have arthritis, I am overweight. My eyesight is getting worse over time, my memory is starting to fail me, my body doesn't want to accept the lifestyle change I have brought upon it. There are people who think to themselves that they want to have a beer with a few friends, shoot some pool. For many people this is routine. For me, it's something I want as a routine. I want the kind of freedom one has to do this. I'm 30 years old this 17th, and there are 20 year olds who have lived more than I have, to a much greater degree. Hell, there are 15 year olds who have had more life experience than I have, on many levels. I am 30 years old and still sitting on the starting point of my life. The worst part of it is that I'm not only fully aware of everything around me, but I am fully aware of each passing second, knowing that each passing second is one more second closer to inevitability.

People say that I'm only going to be 30, and that one has plenty of time to make things happen. I cannot disagree more. There is vibrance in youth that is not passed on when you become older. There is a sweetness that disappears in advancing age. Fresh becomes stale, the new becomes mundane, and you realize that there is nothing for you that you seek whole and new, only the leftovers remain. Only whatever is left after those who took advantage of their youth has passed you by. Once youth is gone, it is gone. You can reclaim some vigor, you can reclaim some sense of what was, but that which made it sweet, and rare, and special, and to be savored, and to be treasured, has passed me by, and whatever is left, that is what I shall have, if that, if ever. I am fully aware of these things. Like a heartbeat, each second is one less second, each beat one fewer remaining. Youth has passed me by, and I have no memories of it, I have no enjoyment of it, I have nothing to savor, nothing to carry with me up this path that leads to death's door, no warm memory to help me through. I walk in the cold, I walk in the dark, I walk alone. I once told my Doctor I would be surprised if I reached the age of 50. I was not joking with him.

 

[Nomad V]

First off, I'm ok. Not starting this thread because anything particularly bad is happening, just reflecting. That said...

Getting old sucks. Of course it beats the alternative, but still...

In a couple weeks I'll be 49, just one year away from half a century. Arggh.

I know some are you are thinking, "49 is still kinda young." No, it is not, compared to someone 100 years old maybe, but no.

I'm the last of all six of my siblings. My sister Rebecca died at 31, my sister Deborah at 47, my brother Stanley at 53, my brother Charlie at 61, and my sister Rose at 63. My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, all looong gone. Time has orphaned me, I'm just the weird old uncle to a scattering of nieces and nephews, great-nieces and great-nephews, and great-great-nieces and great-great-nephews. Jeebus! I've lost some of them too, along with a few friends.

My eyesight is getting worse, though it was never good to start with. I'm more susceptible to cold now. I used to be able to hike 20 miles just for fun, now the 10 minute walk to work seems like forever. Women that I would normally like and be attracted to I have to avoid, so I don't come across as some old perv, which is tough since I work at a college filled with them. I find myself getting more clumsier, and making more and more spelling and grammar mistakes (bless you edit button). The gray is really starting to show now. My sense of humor is wearing thin as well, which sucks because many believe that is my best quality.

It sounds like I'm depressed, but I'm not. I could've died many, many times from things happening in my life, but I didn't. I just think in order to move on in my life I have to acknowledge these things right now. My family is gone, but I'm alive, so I have to experience life as it comes, because they can't. I try to appreciate being able to see the sun and sky, watch my favorite show, listen to music I like, eat foods I love, laugh with people I care about, because they can't, and someday neither will I.

Getting old sucks, but death sucks harder.

Thanks for reading all this if you did.

Now, page 2...

As big Bill says "I feel your pain". I turn 51 this month and I know there will be no real retirement for me. I have kids that turn 8 and 6 this year, which means, if they don't have any missteps in school, they will be graduating when I'm 67. Keeping in mind that my Dad passed on when he was 51 and his Dad passed on at 58, I'm just hoping that I make it to see them graduate. As for the aches and pains, well I start physical therapy tomorrow for torn tendons in my forearm from shovelling all this snow. At a younger age that would have never happened. I really do comiserate, but you have to stay positive and suck every last bit of joy out of this life while you can, and you must. Hang in there.

 

[KimMH]

Remember, growing old is mandatory....growing up is optional!

Due to my CP, I've never known what health is, but I can definately relate to slowing down. I'll be 40 next month, and I can't do half the shit I did ten years ago. My problem is, Whenever I lose an ability, I can never tell if it's because I'm getting older, or because I'm disabled.

Doesn't matter though, I've discovered the secret to eternal life, and for a small fee of $200.00, I'll pass it on.

Do you accept personal checks?

 

[RJDiogenes]

I'd like to share a story with you. A couple of years ago i was at the haircutters...waiting my turn to be taken. I'm sitting in a chair, reading a magazine when i look up and see this young guy staring at me. He was GORGEOUS! And my heart starts to flutter a little bit. I mean, here i am, this old lady and this guy is looking at me....with something in his eyes. I try to focus on the article i'm reading but every now and then i look up and there he is ...staring at me. He gets up, slowly walks over to me and i am freaking out!! My heart starts to pound....he stands right in front of me and says, "HI MRS M!!"

He was one of my son's old high school friends!

Fantastic. You should have said, "Rowr!"

From Nagel's superb little essay on Death:

The trouble is that life familiarizes us with the goods of which death deprives us. We are already able to appreciate them... If we put aside doubts about their status as goods and grant that their quantity is in part a function of their duration, the question remains whether death, no matter when it occurs, can be said to deprive its victim of what is in the relevant sense a possible continuation of life.

The situation is an ambiguous one. Observed from without, human beings obviously have a natural lifespan and cannot live much longer than a hundred years. A man's sense of his own experience, on the other hand, does not embody this idea of a natural limit. His existence defines for him an essentially open-ended possible future, containing the usual mixture of goods and evils that he has found so tolerable in the past. Having been gratuitously introduced to the world by a collection of natural, historical, and social accidents, he finds himself the subject of a life, with an indeterminate and not essentially limited future. Viewed in this way, death, no matter how inevitable, is an abrupt cancellation of indefinitely extensive possible goods. Normality seems to have nothing to do with it, for the fact that we will all inevitably die in a few score years cannot by itself imply that it would be good to live longer. Suppose that we were all inevitably going to die in agony -- physical agony lasting six months. Would inevitability make that prospect any less unpleasant? And why should it be different for a deprivation? If the normal lifespan were a thousand years, death at 80 would be a tragedy. As things are, it may just be a more widespread tragedy. If there is no limit to the amount of life that it would be good to have, then it may be that a bad end is in store for us all.

In other words, one cannot imagine nonexistence-- and why would one want to?

 

[Capn Flukie]

Thanks for all the replies folks!

Happy Birthday, Jetfire! Just keep kickin' dude!

J., you got a lot going for you, obviously you're going to be around a looong time.

I usually don't dwell on these things, I have accepted them as part of life. Accepting them doesn't mean they go away though.

I've only eight years to reach the age my mother died, 57. I do think about how I've outlived all my siblings. I had a different father than they did, and people always try to remind my that might be what saves me from an early grave.

I do try to find the positive in life, I always have, and I suspect I always will. I know sharing these thoughts with my friends, both in RL and online, helps me keep things in perspective, and not stew in my own head.

Part of my frustration with my life now, it just seems I have to work harder than I should have to, physically. I work in a college bookstore, and part of the job is lugging thousands of textbooks around. It's very hard on the back. I was born blind with cataracts and couldn't see until I was four, after a number of operations. I can't drive because of this, so getting around usually involves me walking to wherever I have to go. This has given me really strong legs, but now my knees feel like they are wearing out.

I have accomplished a few things in my life that I'm proud of. At 39 I attended college, and got my Associate in Applied Sciences degree in Computer Information Systems. I don't think most of my siblings even graduated high school.

I'm single right now, but I have had many relationships though the years. I've traveled around some, been to some wonderful places, and had tons of fun with friends.

Like I said, I'm not really depressed, I've overcome a few things in life to get what I wanted, and I think about how challenging it is to be me, and a lot of other people would freak out if they suddenly had to live my life.

Somebody had to be me, and I guess I was right for the job!

Now my time for reflection is over. Spring is soon to arrive, and the world will seem new again. And warm!

Time to start the next chapter! (hopefully no smoke monsters are involved)

 

[RandyS]

Due to my CP, I've never known what health is, but I can definately relate to slowing down. I'll be 40 next month, and I can't do half the shit I did ten years ago. My problem is, Whenever I lose an ability, I can never tell if it's because I'm getting older, or because I'm disabled.

Doesn't matter though, I've discovered the secret to eternal life, and for a small fee of $200.00, I'll pass it on.

Do you accept personal checks?

Absolutely.

 

[T'Girl]

In September I turn 23. I have 20/15 vision, big boobs and perfect health.

Big kisses.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Oh Flukie, old friend, just think of this:

Warning

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens. And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
Jenny Joseph.

I know I've posted it before, but I forgot

See~ it can't be all bad Do something silly ~ I put a good slug of sherry into the tomato and basil soup at work. It made me smile, sometimes you've just got to take it when you can find it

And I'll ditto Happy Birthday to all March babies ~ I'll be celebrating my early 40's at the Opera on the Ides of March

 

[Bloodwhiner]

In September I turn 23. I have 20/15 vision, big boobs and perfect health.

Big kisses.

Enjoy it while you can, it is fleeting. Even then, while you may not believe it now, your best years are a decade away.

 

[KimMH]

In September I turn 23. I have 20/15 vision, big boobs and perfect health.

Big kisses.

You go Grrrl! Misspend your youth and send pix!!! I'm rootin' fer ya!

 

[Jetfire]

Flukie, don't even think your sense of humor is going, you are a truly funny man.

As for me, I turn 30 on the 17th of this month. It has been bothering me for months. At 30 years of age, I have no place of my own, I have no degree (aside from my HS Diploma), I have no girlfriend, I have no job, I have no real free time, I have no great experiences, I have no lasting love, I have no peace. I do have high blood pressure, I do have diabetes, I do have arthritis, I am overweight. My eyesight is getting worse over time, my memory is starting to fail me, my body doesn't want to accept the lifestyle change I have brought upon it. There are people who think to themselves that they want to have a beer with a few friends, shoot some pool. For many people this is routine. For me, it's something I want as a routine. I want the kind of freedom one has to do this. I'm 30 years old this 17th, and there are 20 year olds who have lived more than I have, to a much greater degree. Hell, there are 15 year olds who have had more life experience than I have, on many levels. I am 30 years old and still sitting on the starting point of my life. The worst part of it is that I'm not only fully aware of everything around me, but I am fully aware of each passing second, knowing that each passing second is one more second closer to inevitability.

People say that I'm only going to be 30, and that one has plenty of time to make things happen. I cannot disagree more. There is vibrance in youth that is not passed on when you become older. There is a sweetness that disappears in advancing age. Fresh becomes stale, the new becomes mundane, and you realize that there is nothing for you that you seek whole and new, only the leftovers remain. Only whatever is left after those who took advantage of their youth has passed you by. Once youth is gone, it is gone. You can reclaim some vigor, you can reclaim some sense of what was, but that which made it sweet, and rare, and special, and to be savored, and to be treasured, has passed me by, and whatever is left, that is what I shall have, if that, if ever. I am fully aware of these things. Like a heartbeat, each second is one less second, each beat one fewer remaining. Youth has passed me by, and I have no memories of it, I have no enjoyment of it, I have nothing to savor, nothing to carry with me up this path that leads to death's door, no warm memory to help me through. I walk in the cold, I walk in the dark, I walk alone. I once told my Doctor I would be surprised if I reached the age of 50. I was not joking with him.

1st-Thanks guys.
I know people online can say that they care someone is alive...but in my daily life...no...they don't care. My sister was by today and didn't say anything to me???

2nd-Axiom, I know exactly how you feel...I feel the same. The last time I was at the dentist he said you know your blood pressure is high? I said yeah...he said you know that can kill you? I said hopefully.

Seriously, how can anyone be happy about life when it sucks, nothing you do helps and nothing you can do changes it.

 

[Ar-Pharazon]

In September I turn 23. I have 20/15 vision, big boobs and perfect health.

Big kisses.

You go Grrrl! Misspend your youth and send pix!!! I'm rootin' fer ya!

Yeah, I agree with the Commodore, pix are necessary.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Seriously, how can anyone be happy about life when it sucks, nothing you do helps and nothing you can do changes it.

There are things in everybody's life that they do not like and cannot be changed. The way I look at it, they will remain unchanged whether I am miserable or happy-- so I might as well be happy.

 

[Jetfire]

Seriously, how can anyone be happy about life when it sucks, nothing you do helps and nothing you can do changes it.

There are things in everybody's life that they do not like and cannot be changed. The way I look at it, they will remain unchanged whether I am miserable or happy-- so I might as well be happy.

These things can be changed...there seems to be this dark cloud over my life that won't allow anything good to come in...I wish I knew how to get rid of it. I have watched certain things come to others with ease and allude me purposely...it gets to a point where enough is enough.

I don't want to be 40 and still have my life the way it has become now...at 32.

 

[AstroSmurf]

Seriously, how can anyone be happy about life when it sucks, nothing you do helps and nothing you can do changes it.

There are things in everybody's life that they do not like and cannot be changed. The way I look at it, they will remain unchanged whether I am miserable or happy-- so I might as well be happy.

^ I agree. Sometimes I think my life has been an experiment in terror and I am the lab rat looking for that piece of cheese. But I can either look at all the bad things or find the positive, the hope, in my existence. I choose hope. Trust me, if I wasn't a "glass half full" kind of a guy, I would have offed myself by now. I have lived through enough darkness for two lifetimes but I refuse to bow down to it.