Funny One-Sentence Summaries of TNG Episodes

[Oddish]

Lower Decks: After 10 seasons of Trek, the death of a redshirt finally matters.

Thine Own Self: Data, who has more command chops in one cheek of his "smoother than Riker's chin" android bottom than Deanna has in her whole frickin' body... still has to call her "sir".

Masks: Shhh, don't wake Messaka.

Eye of the Beholder: Deanna gets "Inner Light" gaslit.

Journey's End: Wesley gets crapped on, and the Maquis come into being.

Genesis: Well, at least Worf and Troi didn't have salamander babies at the end.

Firstborn: An interesting twist on adolescent suicide.

Bloodlines: Picard has a secret love-chi... no he doesn't.

Emergence: The ship's mysteriously come alive... no it's not.

Preemptive Strike: Ro's going to sneak into the Maquis and take them down from the insi... no she isn't.

All Good Things: Five card stud, and the sky's the limit.

LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES...

Generations: Picard's family, the Duras sisters, the Enterprise D, and James T. Kirk all bite the big one.

First Contact: Apparently, Zephram Cochrane's flight crew contributed exactly nothing to history, since they died and nothing changed.

Insurrection: The needs of the few outweigh the needs of the many.

Nemesis: Data is FINALLY about to get the rank and position he should have had twelve years ago... and they kill him off.

 

[Oddish]

BACK TO THE FUTU... I mean the past.

Encounter at Farpoint: Since Farpoint is a wounded space jellyfish, couldn't this be an encounter WITH Farpoint?

The Naked Now: This is why teen-agers shouldn't captain starships.

Code of Honour: Laser Cage Spike Ball Catfight 2364... no, it's not a really bad sci fi movie (but it's close).

The Last Outpost: Armin Shimerman trashes the Ferengi so bad, it takes him seven years to fix it.

Justice: Enterprise visits the Planet of the Suntan Oil People.

Hide and Q: Riker gives people exactly what they don't want.

Haven: Weird Betazoid wedding customs herald much ado about nothing.

Datalore: Hey, let's do another Evil Twin Trek episode!

Angel One: Riker bangs a planetary ruler, then educates her about evolution.

11001001: We find out that the Enterprise's autodestruct sequence uses a scoreboard clock.

Home Soil: Usually life is just a person with bumps on their head, but here it's not even organic.

Coming of Age: Well, Wesley's not going anywhere anytime soon.

Heart of Glory: If you're going to imprison a Klingon, make him change into an orange jumpsuit.

The Arsenal of Freedom: The Enterprise visits the Planet of the Evil Telephone Handsets.

Symbiosis: ....followed by the Planet of the Drug Dealers.

Skin of Evil: Riker gets tarred and feathered, but without the feathers.

Skin of Evil (II): We find out that no, main characters on the Enterprise are NOT safe.

The Neutral Zone: Enterprise finds some human popsicles.

Oh, NO! Out of TNG.

EDIT: List of Options:
A. Start over with new sentences for Season 2.
B. Move on to DS9 in this topic and get reminded by the moderator that this is a TNG forum.
C. Start a new "Funny one-sentence summaries" topic for DS9. Watch it vanish onto page 2 with a one-digit number of replies (that's just what my topics do).
D. Start a new "Funny one-sentence summaries" topic for VOY (or ENT, DIS, PIC, LD, PRO, or whatever. Watch it... you know the rest.
E. Throw my phone in a puddle, making the whole matter moot.

 

[Trekker09]

I think you've found your calling.

 

[Farscape One]

You know? Start the DS9 thread. I will definitely chime in.

(Hell, I'll do it for pretty much every series.)

 

[flandry84]

The mind’s eye::Laforge is brainwashed to become a lethal assassin yet somehow remains boring.

 

[JesterFace]

The mind’s eye::Laforge is brainwashed to become a lethal assassin yet somehow remains boring.

Romulans used too much detergent, with the correct amount the plan might have worked.

 

[Oddish]

Romulans used too much detergent, with the correct amount the plan might have worked.

Well, as Leah Brahms could tell you, Geordi has a very dirty mind.

You know? Start the DS9 thread. I will definitely chime in.

Well, Ok. But if it slips into oblivion, I an so going to give you an "I told you so".

 

[Legate Duhmar]

Ensign Ro : Get ready to meet Tasha 2.0, this time she means business.

The Game : A visionary critique of smartphones 10 years before they existed

Cause and Effect : Groundhog Day on the Enterprise (Featuring: Frasier)

Lower Decks : Finally a chance to see what life is like for the people who relieve Data at ops and redshirt on away missions.

Who Watches the Watchers : Picard and crew accidently create a cargo cult on a primitive world inhabited by people who definitely aren't Vulcans.

Yesterdays Enterprise : Captain, we have to get Tasha(?) back to 2344!

I, Borg : The Enterprise finds a stray Borg who's puppy dog hologram eye saves the Collective

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Shades of Gray: Redo it for the vine.

 

[at Quark's]

Clues The crew do their very best to fool themselves
Cause and Effect: Script recycling taken to a new extreme.
Parallels : Crew surprise-parties the Klingon. The universe pranks him. Turns out he likes neither.
The next phase ... in ill-thought out plot ideas. They go through walls but not floors?

 

[Oddish]

The Next Phase: Given that phased lungs should not be able to process un-phased oxygen... they should've been ghosts after all.

 

[at Quark's]

The Next Phase: Given that phased lungs should not be able to process un-phased oxygen... they should've been ghosts after all.

Especially so since they did make it a point they were starved and finally had something to eat again at the end of the episode.

Evolution is dangerous and evil, which Wesley finds out the hard way. Just believe your Sunday school teacher from now on and never do science experiments.

 

[Oddish]

Just believe your Sunday school teacher from now on and never do science experiments.

What if you are the Sunday school teacher?
Genesis: Barclay is Spider Man, Riker goes ape, Troi smells something fishy, and Worf has a shocking experience.

 

[Bornin1980something]

Coming Of Age
Wesley is insulted when someone calls him Murf.
The Outrageous Okona
It's not funny, but try telling that to a holodeck audience.

 

[Mojochi]

I Borg: Beverly brings a tracking device onboard in an attempt to get everyone killed

Chain of Command: The Enterprise gets a new commander, and nobody likes that he commands them.

The Wounded: The crew finds out that Chief O'Brien is absolutely wasted standing around a transporter room

Cause And Effect: There's an effect for which we then find out the cause

 

[Oddish]

Frame of Mind: Hey, Will... sorry that you didn't take your own ship now?

Chain of Command: How about now?

 

[Mojochi]

Schisms: The Enterprise crew are eerily shocked to be falling victim to alien abductions, because that had not yet happened this week.
The Cost of Living: Lwaxana meddles in Worf's parenting, because even the worst cast parent is still better than Worf at parenting
The Inner Light: Picard's Stockholm Syndrome is rewarded with a flute

 

[JesterFace]

'The Best of Both Worlds', Picard really, really wants to show Riker he could be a good captain.
'Captain's Holiday', captain Picard goes on a holiday.
'Brothers', Data's identical evil twin doesn't have a beard for some reason.
'The Most Toys', a collector desperately wants a limited edition Data.

 

[Oddish]

Lower Decks: Riker and Geordi get reminded that they were both eager beaver ensigns once.

 

[Legate Duhmar]

First Duty : Wesley Crusher has a crisis of honor when his flight team commanded by Tom Paris suffers a fatal accident.