Fox Mulder has joined the Nigerian scam

[23skidoo]

X-Files fans will get a chuckle out of this one (which is why I originally posted this in SF/F. If a mod wants to move this to Misc. feel free).

Like all of us, I get variations of the bulls*it Nigerian 419 scam e-mails every day. And the more I get the more I, frankly, lose sympathy for those who actually fall for these scams (and people obviously do otherwise these scam artists wouldn't keep doing it). The reason I say that is because some of them are so stupid that only a stupid person would fall for them.

I usually ignore them, but this one caught my eye as a fan of a certain 1990s SF series.

This one gave me a chuckle, so I thought I'd share it with you. It's been edited down - the original version was quite long. It makes me feel good to know there's an arrest warrant out for me in Germany for something OTHER than ... yes, well... erm ....

Alex

----

FBI Headquarters in Washington, D.C.
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001

Attn: Dear Fund Beneficiary,

This the Federal Bureau Of Investigation (FBI) We are writing in response to our track light monitoring device which we received today in our office about the illegal transactions that you have been involve in for a long time now.

[Edited something about a Nigerian group that wants to give me a bunch of money...]

We also got a complain from our German counterpart stating that your identity/information's was used to dupe a German
business man to the tune of $400 Billion Usd by some Nigerian Fraudsters which you have been in contact with for
some time now.

The German Government has ordered for your urgent arrest regarding the crimes that was committed with your name,after
all the series of investigations conducted here in our office we tracked your record and we found out that you have
never been jailed or had any fraudulent case that may jeopardize your image and personality.

All this information's are on record and we are going to use it against you in the world court when this case will be brought before it and we called the Nigerian High Commission for an urgent compensation for the bad deed that has been
committed with your name.

[Edited out the usual "We'll help you if you end us money" spiel.]

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.


Thanks as I wait for your response

Respectively
FOX MULDER
FBI AGENT

-----

Respectively?


PS. I've read that certain groups - mainly Nigerians - object to the use of the term Nigerian scam. I can understand that, but in this case it's an accurate description as that's part of the subject matter of the spam.

 

[Starkers]

Hey the guy has to fund his porn habit somehow!

 

[Argus Skyhawk]

These scam artists seem to have fun coming up with this stuff.

 

[OsmiumJohnnycake]

Of course, if this is true, and Fox Mulder is real, that means that John Munch is also in our universe.

 

[David cgc]

Why is it always "to the tune of" some amount of money? Do Nigerian scammers only know a small number of american colloquialisms, or has no one ever bothered to do a top to bottom rewrite of the original scam letter?

 

[RandyS]

I'm starting to really hate Nigeria.

 

[Owain Taggart]

That's funny. Forward it to the FBI and tell them someone is scamming as Fox Mulder on the behalf of the the FBI.

Unfortunately, the falsehood is out there.

 

[captcalhoun]

why the fuck would the FBI take you to the WORLD COURT and not just try you in America or extradite you to Germany?

 

[Vendikarr]

Of course, if this is true, and Fox Mulder is real, that means that John Munch is also in our universe.

So does that make me part of Tommy Westphal's imagination?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ No...just because Tommy dreamed of certain characters (such as the people at St. Eligius) doesn't mean that they don't "really" exist.

 

[sojourner]

^But, due to crossovers, it's been proven that a large number of tv shows only exist in Tommy's imagination!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ Nothing about that is proven. Only suggested. Just because Tommy dreamed of somebody doesn't mean they're not real. Take St. Elsewhere for example. Obviously a couple of the characters would have to be different, given the final scene, in the show's "real world", but otherwise the show's reality could be pretty much the same as Tommy's dream was. He could have based his dream on real experiences he had at St. Eligius.

I know, you're thinking that just because Dr. Ehrlich from St. Elsewhere shows up in the final episode of Homicide, that means the L&O/Homicide universe is Tommy's dream. Right? Well like I just said, that doesn't have to be the case. Tommy could have been a patient at St. Eligius at one point, met the real Dr. Ehrlich (and others), and based his dream around them.

Yeah, maybe Tommy had an active imagination and dreamed up a lot of shit. But nothing is PROVEN to be in his dream and nowhere else. We can only guess at it.

Read this, for further information.

 

[Temis the Vorta]

That scam would be so much more persuasive if they said they were raising ransom money for an alien abductee.

 

[The Borgified Corpse]

why the fuck would the FBI take you to the WORLD COURT and not just try you in America or extradite you to Germany?

I think the idea is supposed to be that the German government wants to try you in the World Court and the FBI (as opposed to the Attorney General's office for some reason) is willing to fight it on your behalf if you give them money.

Still, unless I'm very much mistaken, the U.S. is not a signatory to the World Criminal Court, does not recognize its legitimacy, and would never permit a U.S. citizen to be tried in the World Criminal Court.

Read this, for further information.

I've only read the title but I already love it! "Six Objections to the Westphal Hypothesis." How scholarly!

 

[Holdfast]

You know, I love a good scam letter, but I have to wonder just why they signed it off Fox Mulder. I mean, the whole point is to cajole the reader into parting with money and a well-known-to-be-fictional FBI agent's name is hardly likely to do that. Maybe they figure it's a good way of whittling down the pool of readers; if you believe Fox is real, you're a definite candidate to be scammed?

Someone should reply to the scammer, pretending to be Dana.

 

[Roshi]

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Everybody knows Fox Mulder was fired from the Bureau!

 

[David cgc]

You know, I love a good scam letter, but I have to wonder just why they signed it off Fox Mulder. I mean, the whole point is to cajole the reader into parting with money and a well-known-to-be-fictional FBI agent's name is hardly likely to do that. Maybe they figure it's a good way of whittling down the pool of readers; if you believe Fox is real, you're a definite candidate to be scammed?

It's probably just "well known" and not "well known to be fictional." I'd be surprised if the Nigerian scammers were up on their 90s US TV.

 

[JRS]

Give Mulder some aliens and conspiracies to chase..for gods sake!

 

[Captaindemotion]

Of course, if this is true, and Fox Mulder is real, that means that John Munch is also in our universe.

John Munch is in every conceivable universe.