Found out very upsetting news on Monday

[Spockkirk]

I was at social club (group for handicapped people) and found out my friend Star had been molested by a person we thought we could trust and was our friend. She is a little kid. Yes I admit she can be a brat but she still did not deserve this!!!!!!!

I am so upset and horrified. My emotions are all over the place I'm very sad for her and angry about what happened. I'm scared, shocked, just wanna scream at the injustice of it all!!!!

How can I help my friend and cope with these feelings at the same time?

 

[Tosk]

Yes I admit she can be a brat but she still did not deserve this!!!!!!!

Of course not. I don't think any normal person would even put those two things together.

How can I help my friend and cope with these feelings at the same time?

I wish I had some good advice other than just try to be there for them first and worry about you second. As much as you feel overwhelmed with emotion right now, you'll get it over it a lot easier than they will.

...and try not to do anything stupid regarding the asshole who did it. That can be a tough one, not doing something drastic.

 

[Spockkirk]

I have to admit I feel like screaming at him and asking what he thinks he was doing. But most of all I still feel like crying my eyes out. I was molested when I was 18 so this is also sparking my PTSD as well.

 

[Tosk]

I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe you can use how you felt at that time to try and know what kind of support or help Star might need right now?

 

[rhubarbodendron]

I think Star mostly needs someone she can trust and who makes her feel protected. And that's what you're already doing very well.

Step 2 would be to bring this case to the attention of the police but there I see some difficulty: if there were no witnesses (as usually is the case), you have the word of an adult versus the word of a child. Bad chances in court, I'm afraid.

What you can do is spread the word among your friends to make sure they are warned and something like that can't happen to them. Also, you could get them to have an eye on Star so that she has a large number of body guards who make sure she is never alone again with that person.

Also, what about Star's parents? They must be informed and included in the plans to protect her. They are her first line of defense.


I assume that offender (is that the correct legal term?) is either a staff member or one of the club members? In the first case you and Star could try to speak with his bosses (admittedly that's pretty similar to the police problem; but still, it might be worth a try. At least they'll keep a close eye on the guy for the next months). In the latter case you might have a word with the club's president.

If that person can get to Star at night, by all means call in the police. Even if chances may be low, there'd perhaps still be a warning-shot effect.

 

[Spockkirk]

Her mom was the one who told me what happened and there where people who witnessed the event taking place. Appartly he had a mowing job over at one of the neighbors house or something and I was told that he was going to be allowed over there anymore.

I'm planning on telling my counselor what happened and see if she can help as well.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Do whatever you can to support your friend and her family through such a difficult time. I think that's the most anyone could ask.

 

[Spockkirk]

I will keep everyone posted on what happens.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

I'm so sorry to hear this, Spockkirk -- for both Star's sake and yours. It's rough having PTSD stirred up again. (I know; I've been there.) Just continue being a good friend to Star. Listen if she wants to talk about it, but don't push her. And, like you said, talk to your own counselor about it.

 

[Spockkirk]

I didn't go to social club my counselors and mom thought it best if I didn't until social club is safe again

 

[rhubarbodendron]

maybe you could invite Star and a few friends to your place then? It might be fun for all of you to have your own little social club. You could stay in contact in safe surroundings and you could get connected even closer.

 

[OmahaStar]

I didn't go to social club my counselors and mom thought it best if I didn't until social club is safe again

Is anyone else wondering why there has been exactly zero mention of somebody calling the police and reporting this?

 

[rhubarbodendron]

actually, I did mention it: post #5, second paragraph from the top.

 

[Spockkirk]

One of my grown up friends said she would talk to Star and her mom but I haven't heard anything new. The counselor also sort of suggested inviting my friends over but I will have to wait and see what happens.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

I don't understand. Why do you have to "wait and see" before you invite them over?

 

[Spockkirk]

Because I don't know when mom will let me

 

[rhubarbodendron]

being dependent sucks Couldn't you and your friends perhaps meet up on the internet until you can get together IRL?

 

[Spockkirk]

I don't know their last names

 

[rhubarbodendron]

I see. That complicates matters considerably. At least you have us to chat with until you can go back to the club again.