First dates

[startrekwatcher]

They can certainly be awkward and nerve-wracking so I sort of wanted to start a discussion to see what were things that you did or you felt worked on a first date and if things went well what do you do for a follow-up.

Plus when after the first date you blow your wad pretty much on topics--your educational background, your pets, do you smoke/drink, are you looking for something long term or friends with benefits, your jobs( I personally avoiding talking about exes until much later on) etc. What do you talk about in date #2 and what sort of activities do you think work--for me movies, putt putt mini golf just seem so overdone or silly yet where I live there isn't a whole lot of things to do especially if the person is in the same town.

Interested in y'all's thoughts

 

[trekkiebaggio]

Just let conversation flow naturally, dates are two-way streets so don't feel like all the pressure of conversation is on you. If all else fails ask about her. I usually find if the conversation is awkward on the first date there won't be a second.

If you're worried about the conversation then for a second date try to go to some sort of an event or museum or something like that, then you can talk about what's going on around you.

Don't think of it as a list of topics you have to cover, there's no set rule like "Date #1 I need to know x, x and x," just go with the flow.

 

[Finn]

Indeed... most of the stuff I knew about my wife was learned well after the first date...

 

[TremblingBluStar]

I think that if you get out enough and have a lot of first dates, it will become more natural and you will be able to get through one without a hitch. It all depends on how comfortable the two of you are with each other, how much you have in common, ect.

Before I met my current girlfriend, I had a string of first dates for a month or so, where I would meet someone new nearly every week. None of them were awkward. But all ended with a pretty much mutual acknowledgement that there wasn't enough chemistry.

When I met my current girlfriend, we ended up spending the entire day together!

My advice is, don't worry about things like appearing awkward, or social norms like paying for a date, ect. If there is a connection, and if the woman feels it, such things won't matter in the least.

 

[ed629]

Rohypnol, makes that first date great.

 

[Roshi]

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Well, if it's not a blind date, you can figure out an activity you might both like that doesn't require a large time commitment.

There was one girl I talked to for a bit, and she mentioned that she hadn't done mini golf in a while but she wanted to, so that wound up being our first date. You can do that in an hour or two, you have something to do besides talk to each other (so it doesn't have to be awkward), and you can part ways shortly after if you haven't hit it off.

Movies make lousy first dates since you don't really get to talk.

What worked with my current girlfriend was agreeing to meet in the city for coffee. We did not actually end up having coffee. Instead, we spent the day wandering the city, had lunch and dinner together, relaxed in Central Park for a while, checked out a bunch of stores, and then went to a Broadway show to top off the evening. So, I think it's good to start with something really simple (like meeting for coffee) and then just play it by ear. If possible, do it in an area where there are various things to do, so you can figure out an activity on the fly, based on what you're both in the mood for.

 

[sidious618]

Rohypnol, makes that first date great.

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VfWzpJrJaA[/yt]

 

[JoeZhang]

One good idea with a first date is to make it time-limited, so arrange to meet for a coffee or lunch and then if you don't get on, neither of you are stuck with a really uncomfortable night out. If you do get on, just carry on...

 

[BillJ]

I haven't had a first date in twenty years... so I have no idea.

 

[Shazam!]

after the first date you blow your wad

If you're lucky.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

Rohypnol, makes that first date great.

I've got a good sense of humor, but that is not funny.

 

[Gaith]

I've got a good sense of humor, but that is not funny.

Indeed, just crudity for crudity's sake.



A mild-to-moderate quantity of alcohol, on the other hand, especially when consumed during or after twilight, can be an excellent tool to help kick-start a mutual attraction, even if first base isn't reached on the first night. Especially if I don't know the prospective partner very well, unless there's a particularly compelling/appropriate substitute activity, I try to make the first date a drinks date.

I happened to have written a modest Hitchhiker's Guide to Dating Modern Women a few years back, discussed here, and available here in 8.5x11 form and here in ebook-friendly form. Enjoy, if you like.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Mozzarella cheese sticks.

 

[MacLeod]

2nd date what's one of those?

But back to the topic at hand, first dates maybe the coffee/meal, learn a bit about each other likes etc.. Then a second date can be better tailored to suit each other.

But I agree first dates are nerve wracking, even the initially asking out can be that. Well at least I find them to be, but then again I have a somewaht shy personality. I Guess next I'll have to try something like speed dating.

 

[Finn]

^What about first dates for those who already have met and knew some things through a mutual friend?

It might not be that nerve-wracking. I already knew my wife's baggage when I first dated her.

 

[MacLeod]

Well that certainly can make things easier, but knowing someone before dating means you have to try and move out of the so called 'Friend zone'

 

[Finn]

Well that certainly can make things easier, but knowing someone before dating means you have to try and move out of the so called 'Friend zone'

Who said anything about being friends? I met my wife more than three years before we started dated. We hardly interacted and I learned stuff about her from those closer to her.

 

[Gaith]

^What about first dates for those who already have met

I went on a first date once with a girl I'd one night stand-ed with a few months prior. It was awesome; least awkward first date ever. What was there to possibly be afraid of?

 

[ed629]

Rohypnol, makes that first date great.

I've got a good sense of humor, but that is not funny.

Never said who it was for. Maybe for her or him


\/ Roofies can be funny \/

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOw0MrvRDYM[/yt]