Favorite lines from Airplane! and Airplane II: The Sequel
- Thread starter Amasov
- Start date
"Jim never vomits at home..."
Roger Murdock: Flight 2-0-9'er, you are cleared for take-off.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: L.A. departure frequency, 123 point 9'er.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Victor Basta: Request vector, over.
Captain Oveur: What?
Tower voice: Flight 2-0-9'er cleared for vector 324.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur. Over.
Tower voice: Over.
Captain Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over!
Roger Murdock: What?
Captain Oveur: Huh?
Victor Basta: Who?
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: L.A. departure frequency, 123 point 9'er.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Victor Basta: Request vector, over.
Captain Oveur: What?
Tower voice: Flight 2-0-9'er cleared for vector 324.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur. Over.
Tower voice: Over.
Captain Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over!
Roger Murdock: What?
Captain Oveur: Huh?
Victor Basta: Who?
It just never stops being funny.
In case no one knew, the film has been preserved in the United States Library of Congress.
"OUCH!"
"That's not exactly true. We were like brothers."
What about from the first one.
"They're running on instruments!"
Cut to the crew in the cockpit all playing musical instruments.
Joey: Wait a minute. I know you. You're Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers.
Roger Murdock: I'm sorry son, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Roger Murdock. I'm the co-pilot.
Joey: You are Kareem! I've seen you play. My dad's got season tickets.
Roger Murdock: I think you should go back to your seat now Joey. Right Clarence?
Captain Oveur: Nahhhhhh, he's not bothering anyone, let him stay here.
Roger Murdock: But just remember, my name is... [showing his nametag] ROGER MURDOCK. I'm an airline pilot.
Joey: I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense. [Kareem's getting mad] And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try... except during the playoffs.
Roger Murdock: [breaking character] The hell I don't! LISTEN KID! I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.
Roger Murdock: I'm sorry son, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Roger Murdock. I'm the co-pilot.
Joey: You are Kareem! I've seen you play. My dad's got season tickets.
Roger Murdock: I think you should go back to your seat now Joey. Right Clarence?
Captain Oveur: Nahhhhhh, he's not bothering anyone, let him stay here.
Roger Murdock: But just remember, my name is... [showing his nametag] ROGER MURDOCK. I'm an airline pilot.
Joey: I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense. [Kareem's getting mad] And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try... except during the playoffs.
Roger Murdock: [breaking character] The hell I don't! LISTEN KID! I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.
"We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn't dead then."
Plus the greatest line ever:
"Who are you? How did you get in here?!"
"I'm the locksmith... and I'm the locksmith."
For Airplane:
Anything with Johnny/Jacobs.
"The tower? Rapunzel! RAPUNZEL!!"
"The fog is getting thinker"
"And Leon's getting LAAAARRRRGGGEEERRR!"
"Jacobs, I need to know everything that's happened up till now"
"Well lets see; first the Earth cooled, the the dinosaurs came but they got too big and fat, so they all died and turned into oil. Then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes. Then Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di's clothes. I couldn't believe it, he just took out her best sunday dress and put it on..."
How about a coffee, Johnny?
No thanks
No thanks
Doctor: "Captain, how soon till we land?"
Captain: "I can't tell."
Doctor: "You can tell me, I'm a doctor."
Captain: "No, I mean I'm just not sure."
Doctor: "Well, can't you take a guess?"
CaptainL "Hmm...Not for another two hours."
Captain: "You can't take a guess for another two hours?"
Johnny: "Where did you get that DRESS? It's AWFUL! And those shoes, and that coat...JEEEEEZ!"
Rex Kramer: "Get that finger out of your ear! You don't know where that finger's been!"
Captain: "I can't tell."
Doctor: "You can tell me, I'm a doctor."
Captain: "No, I mean I'm just not sure."
Doctor: "Well, can't you take a guess?"
CaptainL "Hmm...Not for another two hours."
Captain: "You can't take a guess for another two hours?"
Johnny: "Where did you get that DRESS? It's AWFUL! And those shoes, and that coat...JEEEEEZ!"
Rex Kramer: "Get that finger out of your ear! You don't know where that finger's been!"
George Carlin had some funny observations on airplanes:
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DagVklB4VHQ[/yt]
F**k you! I'm getting IN the plane. In the plane. Let Evil Knievel get ON the plane.
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjKciefHo38[/yt]
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ir1rzzGugIU[/yt]
Crash Positions
Disco scene/Girl Scout Fight
And the longest running gag in the movie, the propeller sounds.
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DagVklB4VHQ[/yt]
F**k you! I'm getting IN the plane. In the plane. Let Evil Knievel get ON the plane.
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjKciefHo38[/yt]
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ir1rzzGugIU[/yt]
Crash Positions
Disco scene/Girl Scout Fight
And the longest running gag in the movie, the propeller sounds.
Jimmy Wilson: Do you think that things will be a lot different on the moon, Dad?
John Wilson: Oh, it's gonna be terrific. Whole new world, new kids to play with.
Jimmy Wilson: Does that mean no more headlines about the rape trial?
John Wilson: How many kids get the chance to like on another planet?
Jimmy Wilson: No more kids shouting: "Your old man's a psychopathic sex pervert"?
And three pages in and no one likes films about gladiators?
John Wilson: Oh, it's gonna be terrific. Whole new world, new kids to play with.
Jimmy Wilson: Does that mean no more headlines about the rape trial?
John Wilson: How many kids get the chance to like on another planet?
Jimmy Wilson: No more kids shouting: "Your old man's a psychopathic sex pervert"?
And three pages in and no one likes films about gladiators?
"I've been serving Dad decaf...maybe he's just an asshole."
Or seen a grown man naked?
I was reading a retrospective on Airplane, in Empire magazine I think. And one of the writers (I can't remember who it was out of ZAZ) said that Johnny was the only character that was allowed to act like he was in a comedy. The guy who played him was a member of the Kentucky Fried Theater and I think most of his lines were improv.
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