Robau does not keep a Moet & Chandon in a pretty cabinet, but he *did* say "Let them eat cake" just like Marie Antoinette (whom Robau nailed, BTW).
Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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Captain Robau is so badass that when he moved away Reach had to be renamed Slight Extension.
He doesn't need to keep the champane somere. If one of the girls is in the mood for it he wishes it into existence.
Robau chose Roddy Piper to lead the fight against childhood obesity:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/de...ts-childhood-obesity?playlist=featured_videos
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/de...ts-childhood-obesity?playlist=featured_videos
Captain Robau was NOT killed by Sayid. He just played dead so he could overhear Sayid's and Ben's conversation and use the information against them later.
Elvis is NOT dead. He was just told by The Robau to take a hike, until the appropriate time...when he shall return as cool as ever!
Robau turned down a promotion to Emperor of the Cosmos so he could spend more time on his ship hitting on Winona Kirk.
And impregnating her.
And impregnating her.
^Repent, infidel. The Robau is awesome enough to not need to engage in adultery to prove to himself he can conquer the unconquerable!
How DARE you imply otherwise?
How DARE you imply otherwise?
Each husband is more then proud to have his wife impregnated by Robau.
I think his record is 15 at the same time, but he works at it every day.
I think his record is 15 at the same time, but he works at it every day.
For Robau being worshiped as a god is a step down for him. Yea, for he is the Universe itself! (admittedly a bald one but I'm sure it might have its bad points as well)
Captain Robau once wore a blue mankini as his USS Kelvin Starfleet uniform. His rank pips were displayed on a matching choker, and his insignia was tattooed onto his chest.
No one said a word.
No one said a word.
Robau owns a copy of every Boba Fett action figure EVER made.
Captain Robau made every Boba Fett figure ever made, by hand, one lazy evening.
Robau dove head first into the Sarlaac to rescue Fett. After he dragged him out he instructed him in how to be a badass and Fett went on to become a great internet meme that made Robau proud.
^ After which the Sarlacc immediately committed suicide, reasoning that it could not possibly survive attempting to ingest The Robau. The Sarlacc's final act was to request that Robau eat it, because it was a great honor to be digested by anyone that badass.
Since we're on the subject of The Other Universe...recall the one universally-recognized GOOD thing about Episode I.
It was Robau who trained Darth Maul. He just left His Awesomness for Sidious, having been seduced by the Dark Side.
Robau cursed Maul with, "The day will come when a mere apprentice will slice you in half, just when you think you have defeated him and his dying master. And it will come...very soon."
Sidious reassured Maul with, "You have been well trained, my young apprentice. The Jedi will be no match for you...."
It was Robau who trained Darth Maul. He just left His Awesomness for Sidious, having been seduced by the Dark Side.
Robau cursed Maul with, "The day will come when a mere apprentice will slice you in half, just when you think you have defeated him and his dying master. And it will come...very soon."
Sidious reassured Maul with, "You have been well trained, my young apprentice. The Jedi will be no match for you...."
Jedi use the Force. The Force uses Robau.
But at first, it always says, "Please..."
But at first, it always says, "Please..."
Yoda was 6' tall until the day he pissed of Captain Robau.
The real downfall of the Jedi and the Republic? They both angered the Robau.
Palpatine and the Sith were the fall guys.
Palpatine and the Sith were the fall guys.
Robau later helped out the Rebel Alliance by infusing Luke with a high Force concentration because Sidious and Vader were starting to royally piss him off.
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