Facts About Captain Robau

[cooleddie74]

Robau is the man who put two scoops of raisins in each box of Raisin Bran. Because three?

TOO badass even for him.

BLASPHEMER!!!

Robau could've had three hundred scoops if he wanted to--but he knew the average consumer couldn't handle it.

Captain Robau, do not blame cooleddie74. He...has his doubts....

Don't say that Robau will just smight his ass harder.

I am not a blasphemer. I simply ask: can Robau create so many scoops of raisins that even HE cannot eat them?

 

[Cyke101]

BLASPHEMER!!!

Robau could've had three hundred scoops if he wanted to--but he knew the average consumer couldn't handle it.

Captain Robau, do not blame cooleddie74. He...has his doubts....

Don't say that Robau will just smight his ass harder.

I am not a blasphemer. I simply ask: can Robau create so many scoops of raisins that even HE cannot eat them?

Isn't that the very same philosophical question that sent V'Ger on its rampage to find the creator?

 

[cooleddie74]

Don't say that Robau will just smight his ass harder.

I am not a blasphemer. I simply ask: can Robau create so many scoops of raisins that even HE cannot eat them?

Isn't that the very same philosophical question that sent V'Ger on its rampage to find the creator?

R'bau will one day assimilate Earth and all its carbon units.

 

[Rush Limborg]

BLASPHEMER!!!

Robau could've had three hundred scoops if he wanted to--but he knew the average consumer couldn't handle it.

Captain Robau, do not blame cooleddie74. He...has his doubts....

Don't say that Robau will just smight his ass harder.

I am not a blasphemer. I simply ask: can Robau create so many scoops of raisins that even HE cannot eat them?

Depends on how the awsomeness of his creative mind compares with that of his infinitly metabolic stomach.

To whit: What happens when an unstoppable force clashes with an immovable object?

At any rate, the Great Robau is merciful, and shall spare you, for this reason, so long as you proclaim that ye shall never be 1/1,000,000,000,000th as bad- as he!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

What happens when an unstoppable force clashes with an immovable object?

That would be Robau's parents conceiving him.

 

[The Wormhole]

Captain Robau once caught a cold. What happened next is why Dr. Crusher once said no one suffered from the common cold in the 24th century.

 

[Islander]

Robau was offered a position at MI6 but declined it because he didn't liked having 2 zeros before his number...

 

[Nick Ryder]

Robau joined MI-5 so he could only have one zero before his number

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Robau created MI-R so that all the British intelligence d00dz wouldn't be vapourized by proximity awesomeness whilst working in the same office as he.

 

[Rush Limborg]

Robau trained Daniel Craig's James Bond.

That's how he was able to handle Le Chieffre's torture techniques....

 

[cooleddie74]

Don't say that Robau will just smight his ass harder.

I am not a blasphemer. I simply ask: can Robau create so many scoops of raisins that even HE cannot eat them?

Depends on how the awsomeness of his creative mind compares with that of his infinitly metabolic stomach.

To whit: What happens when an unstoppable force clashes with an immovable object?

At any rate, the Great Robau is merciful, and shall spare you, for this reason, so long as you proclaim that ye shall never be 1/1,000,000,000,000th as bad- as he!

I SUBMIT TO MIGHTY ROBAU! I COWER LIKE A BUG IN HIS PRESENCE! COMMAND ME, O BALD ONE!!!

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau nailed Peggy Sue before Buddy Holly wrote the song about her.

 

[Rush Limborg]

I am not a blasphemer. I simply ask: can Robau create so many scoops of raisins that even HE cannot eat them?

Depends on how the awsomeness of his creative mind compares with that of his infinitly metabolic stomach.

To whit: What happens when an unstoppable force clashes with an immovable object?

At any rate, the Great Robau is merciful, and shall spare you, for this reason, so long as you proclaim that ye shall never be 1/1,000,000,000,000th as bad- as he!

I SUBMIT TO MIGHTY ROBAU! I COWER LIKE A BUG IN HIS PRESENCE! COMMAND ME, O BALD ONE!!!

The "Bald One" is merciful, and shall forgive your tresspass of his pride.

And he commands you to put three scoops of raisins in your cereal box, next time.

 

[Cyke101]

The Genesis Torpedo destroys in order to create. The Robau Torpedo creates in order to destroy.

The laws of physics were made to be broken by Robau.

 

[EnsignRicky]

Robau can create a burrito so hot that even he himself could not eat it.
He would then proceed to eat twelve of them.

 

[Rush Limborg]

^Ah, he excercises his awesomeness!

AVE CAPUT ROBAU MAXIMUS!!!

(We should have that carved in stone. In case you all don't know Latin, it says, "Hail Captain Robau Maximus!")

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Robau nailed Peggy Sue before Buddy Holly wrote the song about her.

Well, that'll be the day
When Robau makes you cry
Yes, that'll be the day
When your life says goodbye
You say that you are badass, you know it's a lie
'Cause only Robau is badass...and you'll die

 

[6079SmithW]

Captain Robau knows the difference between right and wrong. HE is always right and YOU are always wrong. Always.

"Robau" is the root word for "badass" in over 80,000,000 languages across the alpha quadrant.

 

[Warp Rider]

When Bruce Lee's Super Kick collided with Chuck Norris' Roundhouse, Robau was the only one to tell the next evolved lifeforms the tale.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

When Bruce Lee's Super Kick collided with Chuck Norris' Roundhouse, Robau was the only one to tell the next evolved lifeforms the tale.

That's because Robau taught Lee and Norris every martial arts move they know.

AH, but Robau lived centuries after them, you say? Well, Robau will live so long that he'll do an end run loop around and live so far into the future that he becomes the past.