Facts About Captain Robau

[Aragorn]

Robau doesn't need to spend eight minutes on Eight Minute Abs. He only needs to think about doing ab exercises and they're as good as done.

 

[Rush Limborg]

In the mid eighties, NBC dominated the Saturday morning line up with the introduction of Robau Smurf.

Sadly this idea was scrapped when the all the kids in the test audience's heads exploded from the awesome badass when Robau Smurf appeared.

La...LA-lala-KAH-BOOOOOOOOOM!!!

 

[EnsignRicky]

Robau invented the internet.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ Robau *is* the Internet. When you're online, you're actually connected to Robau's badassness which forms the backbone of the information superhighway.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

If you do a Google search for Captain Robau, the internet explodes.

 

[AdmiralGarak]

If you do a Google search for Captain Robau, the internet explodes.

Though if you manage to avoid an explosion, check out the first link on Google.

 

[Rush Limborg]

^It's Robau's Bad--ness Seminar.

"How YOU TOO can be as awesome as...well, at least 1/1,000,000,000th as awesome as...CAPTAIN ROBAU!!!"

(And the reason there aren't more zeros is because Robau is just one awesome teacher of The Method For Awesome-ness....)

 

[Yeoman Randi]

If you do a Google search for Captain Robau, the internet explodes.

Though if you manage to avoid an explosion, check out the first link on Google.

w00t!

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau shows up at health care town hall meetings and beats EVERYONE on both sides of the issue to pulp. Then smokes an unhealthy stogie over their unconscious, bleeding bodies.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Bob Ross hosted The Joy Of Painting.

Captain Robau hosts The Joy Of Badass.

Although in his own way, Bob Ross was also badass..

 

[EnsignRicky]

Robau's not dead. He's dancing with the stars.

 

[Rush Limborg]

HE IS IN-VINCE-ABLE!!!

'nuff said.

 

[cooleddie74]

On his painting show, Robau didn't paint happy little trees. He beat the shit out of his two-inch brush until the leg of the easel collapsed.

 

[Nick Ryder]

And he doesn't paint happy little trees... he paints badass little trees. His badass little trees beat up happy little trees

 

[Hartzilla2007]

And he doesn't paint happy little trees... he paints badass little trees. His badass little trees beat up happy little trees

And then the badass little trees stealthe happy little tree's lunch money becuase badass little trees deserve it more.

 

[Nick Ryder]

Klingons want to re-animate the supposedly "dead" Robau. He's so badass the Klingons want to learn the way of the true badass from him. Screw Kahless.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

And he doesn't paint happy little trees... he paints badass little trees. His badass little trees beat up happy little trees

And then the badass little trees stealthe happy little tree's lunch money becuase badass little trees deserve it more.

Somehow I'm wondering what a MU version of The Joy Of Painting would be like...Bob "Robau" Ross, in military fatigues, bald, attacking the canvas with small arms fire....

 

[cooleddie74]

And he doesn't paint happy little trees... he paints badass little trees. His badass little trees beat up happy little trees

And then the badass little trees stealthe happy little tree's lunch money becuase badass little trees deserve it more.

And then Robau signs the painting "BADASS" in red lettering, kicks the TV camera in the lens and flips off the audience.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

And he doesn't paint happy little trees... he paints badass little trees. His badass little trees beat up happy little trees

And then the badass little trees stealthe happy little tree's lunch money becuase badass little trees deserve it more.

And then Robau signs the painting "BADASS" in red lettering, kicks the TV camera in the lens and flips off the audience.

Thyen he lights the studio on fire and walks away.

 

[Rush Limborg]

Captain Robau once squared off against the T-1000 (from Terminator 2).

When all was said and done...for Robau, T-1000 became the day's dose of energy drink.