Facts About Captain Robau

[Jeri]

Captain Robau does not require the word badass; he steps around it; he covers it with a newspaper.

 

[erebus]

Captain Robau does not require the word badass; he steps around it; he covers it with a newspaper.

... after he's made intricate little origami animals out of it and makes a paper hat out of any leftover pages - but not for himself, he doesn't need a hat they need him as per Robau canon which he alone decides.

 

[Scotty]

When captain Robau told Trekkies to get a life.... they listened.

 

[Squiggy]

Captain Robau vacations at Guantanamo.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau once defeated Chuck Noris in the most badass battle EVER.

 

[Scotty]

Captain Robau can toast bread with the power of his mind.

 

[Squiggy]

Captain Robau doesn't sleep. He only gets slightly less badass for 8 hours a day, which is still more bassass than you'll ever hope to be.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau laughs at people who call him a canon violation, then he destroys them.

 

[Scotty]

Captain Robau's head is so shiny, it can deflect phasers.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau flirts by breathing.

 

[Squiggy]

If Sulu turns out to be gay, it will be because of Robau. Women want to be with him...men want to be with him violently.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau has no need to date. Women flock to him hypnotically, offering themselves to him with no conscious effort on his behalf.

 

[erebus]

Robau sends his female-seducing scalpapathic wave, scintillating into the glittering night on a rotating frequency and draws them like a siren call from every corner of the known universe, or if he is feeling a tad tired he dispenses with the migratory signal and satisfies them remotely with a single follicular multitasking synchronised signal inducing a collective gasp of libido energy like the universe has never witnessed since the last time he did it.

 

[Squiggy]

With the destruction of Vulcan, an accelerated Pon Farr, Robau, and a bottle of Cognac replenished the species inside of a week.

 

[erebus]

and they were all multiple births.

 

[Squiggy]

Because Robau's sperm takes no prisoners and simultaneously fertilizes all eggs at once.

 

[erebus]

on a rotating frequency not even the borg could circumvent (pardon the pun )

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Captain Robau laughs at people who call him a canon violation, then he destroys them.

Robau is so utterly badass that in the sequel he will reconcile the alternate universe with canon, make way for the restoration of Vulcan, and provide a cameo for Shatner, Mr Kyle and the salt vampire of M113, all in the same shot.

 

[EnsignRicky]

Edward James Olmos carries around a picture of Captain Robau's ass.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

"I'm getting my ass picture."

-Commander Adama to Admiral Cain