Facts About Captain Robau

[DiSiLLUSiON]

Robau is so badass his pants exist in another dimension.

 

[ITL]

The lens-flare instances of the movie were generated by Robau bouncing a coin off his iron-tight arsebuttocks and shining the *TING!" of his grin upon it as it broke the speed of reality to appear in all movie theaters at the same time.

 

[Squiggy]

The "terminated" wasn't referring to Robau's life because he can't die. The sensors shut themselves down because they could no long measure his badassness.

 

[rgb1701]

Bricks sh*t Capt Robau

 

[rgb1701]

In the new timeline, all ships after the Kelvin do not use dilithium crystals. They only need the testicular remains of Robau. They just call them "dilithium" for nostalgic reasons.

 

[Gepard]

Captain Robau faked his own death so other Starfleet captains would have a chance to be useful.

 

[rgb1701]

10 Robaus equals one Kirk.

10 Kirks equal one Cooleddie.

10 Cooleddies equal one Robau.



Think about it.

I think you took the reciprocal in error.

1 Kirk = 1 milliRobau

 

[Squiggy]

The planet Vulcan was so distraught over the supposed death of Robau that it killed itself.

 

[rgb1701]

The Mirror Universe was created when Robau first looked into a mirror.

*This* Universe is barely enough to contain the badass-ness of the *real* Robau. It took a *second* Universe just to contain the *reflection* of Robau's badass-ness.

 

[rgb1701]

Captain Robau took his girlfriend to see Star Trek V. And still got laid.

...nothing can top THAT

 

[EnsignRicky]

Captain Robau goes swimmin' with greenlegged women.

 

[MrPointy]

Captain Robau is.

 

[cooleddie74]

10 Robaus equals one Kirk.

10 Kirks equal one Cooleddie.

10 Cooleddies equal one Robau.



Think about it.

I think you took the reciprocal in error.

1 Kirk = 1 milliRobau

Robaurithmetic is confusing to all but the most intellectually gifted.

 

[urbandk]

Robalculus is understood only by Robau.

 

[cooleddie74]

Only the bald and badass on the same developmental level as Robau himself can understand how bald and badass they REALLY are.

 

[urbandk]

The integral of Robau is Robau. The derivative of Robau is Robau.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau squared?

THE COSMOS.

 

[KirkusOveractus]

Robau cubed?

ROBAU DOESN'T GET TRAPPED IN CUBES!

 

[KirkusOveractus]

My Burger King Kelvin toy melted my hand when I pushed it to play Robau's voice.

Then, it laughed at me.

 

[ITL]

Robau cubed?

ROBAU DOESN'T GET TRAPPED IN CUBES!

He can if he wants to.

Sometimes things can get a little freaky, and if that's the way things are heading....well, The Robau can dig it.