When Captain Robau eats spaghetti, there'd better DAMN WELL be parmesan cheese in the sauce or someone's gonna get their ass kicked.
Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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And God help you if you don't try dessert.
Captain Robau's Muslim name is Salim bin Badass.
Captain Robau doesn't need honey, he chews the bee instead.
Plecostomus
Commodore
Captain Robau makes hot-sauce out of fire-ants and bombardier beetles.
I was going to make some obscene comment or other on the hot sauce bit, but never mind. It was a bad idea.
Plecostomus
Commodore
Never ask Captain Robau what he puts in his hot-sauce. Ever. Pitiful low-ranking non-badass organisms such as us cannot comprehend His reasons for choosing His ingredients.
...unless you want to become one with His sauce that is.
How. Bad. Was it?
When splashed with cold water, Captain Robau turns into... Captain Robau.
And then he gives who ever dumped the water on him an epic ass kicking.
Plecostomus
Commodore
Thank you for calling the Captain Robau Boner Brigade And Marching Band World Headquarters.
Captain Robau cannot come to the phone right now, he's out issuing an ass-kicking and won't be back until tomorrow.
If you require a smartass answer to a serious question press one now.
If you wish to die, bitch... press two now.
If time-traveling Romulans are fucking with your personal timeline press four now.
Captain Robau is aware that we skipped number three and wishes to remind you who is in charge here.
If you wish to hear the remainder of this menu in a language OTHER than American, go fuck yourself now.
If your car will not start and you want Captain Robau to smite the automakers with massive debt press five now.
Otherwise please stay on the line and Captain Robau will kick your sorry weak ass shortly.
Thank you for calling the Captain Robau Boner Brigade And Marching Band. Have a nice day... bitch.
Captain Robau cannot come to the phone right now, he's out issuing an ass-kicking and won't be back until tomorrow.
If you require a smartass answer to a serious question press one now.
If you wish to die, bitch... press two now.
If time-traveling Romulans are fucking with your personal timeline press four now.
Captain Robau is aware that we skipped number three and wishes to remind you who is in charge here.
If you wish to hear the remainder of this menu in a language OTHER than American, go fuck yourself now.
If your car will not start and you want Captain Robau to smite the automakers with massive debt press five now.
Otherwise please stay on the line and Captain Robau will kick your sorry weak ass shortly.
Thank you for calling the Captain Robau Boner Brigade And Marching Band. Have a nice day... bitch.
Captain Robau never gets jock itch. His balls are too badass and perfect to ever get irritated.
Captain Robau can kick both Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers asses.
Captain Robau loves Morris Day and the Time. He's a SMOOOOOOOOOTH mutha fuckah who ALL the ladies love.
Plecostomus
Commodore
Captain Robau listens to vintage '80s pop music.
Captain Robau was the original inspiration for NJ artists Holden McNeil and Banky Edwards when they created "Baldman & Badass."
The reason Paramount started plans for a sequel before the first movie even premiers is because Robau told them to do it or he would kick their asses.
Captain Robau prefers TV dinners without corn niblets...thank you VERY much.
On May 8th Captain Robau will arise and destroy all the unbelievers.
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