Facts About Captain Robau

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau doesn't need to write crappy horror novels to let fish monsters into our world, he just snaps his fingers and they show up.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Captain Robau doesn't need to write crappy horror novels to let fish monsters into our world, he just snaps his fingers and they show up.

...and they immediately scream in terror to suddenly find themselves before the Robau.

 

[Aragorn]

Pinhead used the puzzle box to lock himself back in hell to avoid Robau.

 

[Cyke101]

But the Robau, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered; not a feather then he fluttered;
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "Other friends have flown before;
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the badass said, "Nevermore."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master, whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster, till his songs one burden bore,---
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never---nevermore."

But the Robau still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of badass, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous badass of yore --
What this grim, ruggedly handsome, mighty and ominous badass of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

Happy Halloween, my friends.

 

[EnsignRicky]

Pinhead used the puzzle box to lock himself back in hell to avoid Robau.

But obviously not fast enough.

How do you think he got all those pins?

 

[6079SmithW]

On Halloween, people come to the front door of Robau's house and offer him a tenth of the candy they received out of love, respect, and admiration for him, but mostly out of fear of what he will do to them if they don't.

 

[Aragorn]

Robau's hero is... Bruce Campbell.

 

[EnsignRicky]

Captain Robau never punches anybody.

People just ram their faces repeatedly into George Kirk's fist, while Robau studies duty reports.

 

[Nick Ryder]

"Mommy What's a Funkadelic?" momma replied "Its a Robau."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Who is the man that would risk his neck
For his brother man?
Robau!
Can you dig it?

Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's danger all about?
Robau!
Right On!

They say this cat Robau
is a bad mother
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
I'm talkin' 'bout Robau.
THEN WE CAN DIG IT!

He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his woman
ROBAU!

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Robau destroys 50,000 klingons a day as part of his workout.

 

[Aragorn]

Robau locks threads that question his fan response.

 

[6079SmithW]

Robau is so badass that he invented a "Facts about Captain Robau" machine that churns out Robau facts on an hourly basis and is powered by a single strand of his discarded hair.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

If you question Robau's fan response, Robau will revoke your Trekkie membership card and make it so that if you ever watch anything Star Trek related all you will get is a blank screen.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Robau locks threads that question his fan response.

PERFECT!!! I love it!!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Robau uses Cthulhu as a French tickler.

"Mommy What's a Funkadelic?" momma replied "Its a Robau."

Robau, at the same time, gets up and gets down.

 

[Cyke101]

Robau put Parliament in power and placed President George Clinton in charge. Then he boarded the Mothership (aka the Kelvin) and flew away.

 

[6079SmithW]

Robau locks threads that question his fan response.

Robau covertly infiltrates these threads, takes note of who the blasphemers and believers are, and then proceeds to destroy the thread from the inside out.

 

[Aragorn]

Robau wouldn't be a badass if McDreamy hadn't removed his tumor.

 

[F. King Daniel]

Robau is so badass that he invented a "Facts about Captain Robau" machine that churns out Robau facts on an hourly basis and is powered by a single strand of his discarded hair.

He called his invention...people.