ENT Caption Contest #85: We Hates the Precious!

Discussion in 'Star Trek: Enterprise' started by Jar Jar Binks, Nov 26, 2012.

  1. Kick the Can

    Kick the Can Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    T'Pol: THE WISDOM OF SURAK WILL FREE YOUR KATRA INTO THE UNIVERSE OF INFINITE DIVERSITY IN INFINITE COMBINATIONS. IT IS SAID THAT WHEN KOHLINAR HAS BEEN ATTAINED, ONLY THEN CAN WE ANSWER THE GREAT RIDDLE OF EXISTENCE.

    Male crewman in the back: Show us your t*s!

    T'Pol: FOR LOGIC HAS EMANCIPATED - oh damn. You weren't supposed to guess it yet.
     
  2. Dr. San Guinary

    Dr. San Guinary Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    T'Pol: Fascinating. I was not aware that human males were not...bifurcated.
     
  3. Zombie Cheerleader

    Zombie Cheerleader JJ Abraaaaains Premium Member

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    ARCHER: T'Pol? Have you heard a single thing I've said?

    T'POL: Gotta admit, I'm pretty baked right now.
     
  4. Dr. San Guinary

    Dr. San Guinary Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Trip: Yeah, I know I shouldn't have had that three-bean plomeek soup. Now somebody get me some damn Pepto Bismol!
     
  5. Kick the Can

    Kick the Can Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Three. Year. PMS.
     
  6. Jar Jar Binks

    Jar Jar Binks Admiral Admiral

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    Archer: "What the hell's going on here?!"
    T'Pol: "It would appear that Commander Tucker and Kaitaama have initiated first contact protocols."
    Reed: "Lucky bi**h..."
    Archer: "Huh?"
    Reed: "What? I said 'lucky bloke!'"
     
  7. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    T'Pol: As per massive demand I will -- for the sake of crew morale -- perform what you humans call the Gangnam Style dance.
    Crewmen: Why are you wearing all those robes?
    T'Pol: To preserve what little dignity I have left.

    [​IMG]
    Reed: Wow look at those two thrash around in the mud!
    Archer: Mud-wrestling... Never gets old does it?
    T'Pol: I fail to see what is so interesting about Trip and this woman fighting in the mud.
     
  8. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

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    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
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    Trineer: "Why do I have to bend over like this? All I want is to see the script for These Are The Voyages."
    Berman: "But I want you to get the full effect of what happens to your character. Drop your pants!"
     
  9. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Archer: "So, how do you like these new 'holodecks,' Malcolm?"
    Reed: "Actually...it's sort of boring."
    Archer: "That's just what I was thinking. Computer, generate holographic character: Sheena, Queen of the Jungle!"
    T'Pol: *sighs*
     
  10. The Illusive Man

    The Illusive Man Leader of Cerberus Premium Member

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    Archer: What's he doing?

    Reed: I think he's attempting re-entry, Sir.
     
  11. Rabid Bat

    Rabid Bat Commodore Moderator

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    ... and bend over Mr. Babar!

    Trinneer {singing} Moon River ....
     
  12. Kick the Can

    Kick the Can Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Captain got plomeek? That's crazy.
     
  13. Zombie Cheerleader

    Zombie Cheerleader JJ Abraaaaains Premium Member

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  14. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Trip: Lady, your hot and all, but I'm putting you back into stasis because my other lady friend T'Pol... Well she'll sure as hell be pissed off seeing me and you together.

    [​IMG]
    Princess: I told you not to rescue me, my lover is a Vulcan and he'll rip you to pieces!
    Trip: I thought Vulcans weren't emotional?
    Princess: This one is different.
    Trip: You don't say...

    [​IMG]
    T'Pol: Behold the Critique of Logic by Saurik of Vulcan!

    No response from the audience...

    [​IMG]
    Archer: What do you know; Travis is getting some action!
    Reed: And it ain't the combat sort either!
     
  15. The Orange Monster

    The Orange Monster Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Archer: This reminds me of the time I went to Africa in my 20s...
     
  16. Rabid Bat

    Rabid Bat Commodore Moderator

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    Malcolm - You did it with a gazelle, sir?
     
  17. lurok

    lurok Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Lost in the EU expanse with a nice cup of tea
  18. Zombie Cheerleader

    Zombie Cheerleader JJ Abraaaaains Premium Member

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    CARL SPOCK (o.c.): It's not mine.
     
  19. Gaith

    Gaith Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Trip: Actually, shortly after your cryofreezing, humanity discovered other ways of dramatically extending life-spans. Speaking of, Captain Rushdie says he looks forward to seeing you at dinner tonight.

    Padma: !
     
  20. Zombie Cheerleader

    Zombie Cheerleader JJ Abraaaaains Premium Member

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    Were putting you on ice for an appearance in STXII.

    Am I playing Khan?

    Sure, lets go with that.