ENT Caption Competition #107: Sleeping Targs

[Nebusj]

No apologies; who's got the time for them? Clearly I don't. I haven't even seen the site redesign yet and what the heck is this all about? Yikes. All right. I don't handle radical change yet well. I don't even know that this is working but I'm trying not to give in and switch to the old format again already. I don't know. But what's important is I've got a fresh batch of pictures to caption and I hope you all enjoy them. Thank you all.

But first, the overdue winners of the last Caption Thread.


Winning the 'Simple Joys of Life' Trophy:

Phlox: Ootchy wootchy scootchy coo!

Winning the 'This Is Where Travis Mayweather Disappeared To Between Episodes 2x06 and 3x16' Medallion:

Phlox: "So what happen again?

T'Pol: "Commander Tucker tripped and fell into my mouth, now I can't close it.

This week's Best Explanation of Stuff:

Phlox: I see.

A grim warning of what my love might be driven to:

PHLOX: Sorry, Captain. Short of chopping off her head, I can't find a way of stopping her snoring.

ARCHER: hmmmm....

And the 'I Respect His Work But I'm More A Sparks Fan' trophy goes to:

Hoshi tries to come up with lyrics for Bjørk's next hit single.

The Photoshop and Whatever Happend To Award of the Week:

The coveted 'Ooh, Yeah, This Was What 2015 Was All About' collaborative trophy goes to:

But according to a Re-scan it is White and Gold.

"Hum, according to my scans, the shirt is blue."

And finally, as predicted, the big winner and the deepest giggle of the week from someone who clearly knew me well:

In the not too distant future, 2152 AD, there was a guy named Jon, not too different from you or me. He worked at Starfleet institute, just another face in blue jumpsuit. He did a good job cleaning up the place, but the Vulcans didn't like him shot they shot him into space. We'll send him cheesy movies The worst we can find.

La la la.

He'll have to sit and watch them all while we monitor his mind.

La la la.

Now keep in mind Jon can't control when the movies begin or end, because he used those special parts to make his robot friends...

Robot Roll Call

Charlesbot

Hoshi

T'Pol Servo

Phloooooooox!

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes and other Science facts...

La la la.

Then repeat to yourself it's just a show, I should really just relax, for Star Trek Enterprise 3000.

And now on to pictures from the next of Enterprise's first-season episodes. Would you believe we're halfway through the first season? I'm getting used to the idea too.

Thanks to everyone who riffs on these pictures. I hope everyone has fun with these.

 

[Nerys Myk]

HOSHI: For the last time, Tucker. I'm not snatching a pebble from your hand! Kung Fu is Chinese, I'm from Japan!

 

[Nerys Myk]

PHLOX: Best I can figure, he's involved in some sort of Game of Thrones cosplay.

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Malcolm: Sure, you're more accurate aiming with two hands, but one hand looks so much cooler!

Phlox: I am glateful that you aim Phase Cannons better than you aim your sneezes.

Malcolm: Rock crushes Scissors, that's how I won.

Captain's Starlog Supplemental. The Klingon's intelligence hit a new low today when a Klingon Officer hijacked a shuttlepod and tried to outrun Enterprise. Slow and steady won a trip to the brig.

Phlox: I recommend that you keep Commander Tucker away from my patient. I have yet to determine if she can cause him to become pregnant.

Captain F'Orrest: I don't always drink ale, but when I do, I drink Xarantine-

F'Orrest dies.

Tactical Officer's Log: Somehow I convinced T'Pol and Hoshi that the way out of our problems was randomly shooting the torpedoes. Turns out it might help, but I just wanted an excuse to fire the torpedoes.

T'Pol: Most illogical. This is only instance where we do not complain about being in this room.

 

[tharpdevenport]

"Looks like the lights and my balls are aren't the only things blue in here..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

REED: And that's how I put together an IKEA entertainment center in under an hour!

 

[T'Girl]

Hoshi: Why are you leaning so much to one side?
Reed: The phase pistol is a lot heavier than it looks.
Hoshi: Malcolm you're such a pussy.

Archer: We really need to leave Doctor, the ship could be attacked at any second.
Trip: In a crisis like this I need to be in engineering.
Phlox: As part of my exam, I will be removing all of the Klingon female's clothing.
Archer: Actually, my afternoon is free.
Trip: Yeah, I got nowhere pressing to be.

Archer: Okay, this is the final test to determine who gets the big promotion.
Reed: I could really use this promotion, what are we being tested on?
Archer: Posture.

.

 

[Hutchy01]

Reed (Thinking): Just stay down, Just stay down...

 

[tharpdevenport]

Scientific studies have shown that one out of three people gets a boner.

 

[Finn]

Viidian #1: According to the database we took from the death ship, the ancestors of this woman had a terrible genetic viral endemic. The cure Klingons eventually found is in the fifth chromosome of Torres' genome. It holds the answer to the cure for the phage.

Viidian #2: Enlightening.... We will go back to the lab where we shall begin the procedure. Computer, end program"

*the NX-01 sickbay* disappears...giving away to an alien looking holodeck, with two horribly disfigured Viidians exiting.

 

[joededman]

Reed: And that is why the Mikita is so much more superior than the Black and Decker.

Hoshi: No, I am not going to 'bro fistbump' with you.

Hoshi: Maybe if I sit up against Reed, it will help keep the lesbian fan fiction to a minimum.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"You know...the difference between me...and you petaQs?....I...make this look GOOD."

(dies)

Klingon: Uh, guys...got a bit of an itch right on my forehead...little help?

"WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

"Is that an actual ship or a cloud shaped like a ship?"

 

[T'Girl]

Sesame Street

One of these things is not like the others,

.

 

[Hutchy01]

REED: As I said in decontamination, I can deal with large and dangerous weapons quite well!

 

[2takesfrakes]

PHLOX: "After the Betelgeusian Tubeworm I inserted into your anus slithers out of your mouth, I'll catch it with this cloth and then we'll be able to check on how much your hearing's been improved ..."

 

[hux]

REED: If you hold it like this then say... "put a quarter in your ass, mother fucker because you just got played"... it looks way cooler.

PHLOX: Don't give me that look. Rock beats paper bitch and you know it.

HOSHI: Anyone wanna play fart roulette?

 

[T'Girl]

Hoshi: "Next time you want to have sex, go ahead and use that."

Malcolm: "Who turned off the mood lighting?"

.

 

[Nerys Myk]

HOSHI: You realize I'm a black belt in Aikido, right?
REED: Not till the fourth season.

 

[Captain Crow]

Reed: S' all right?

Hoshi: ...

Reed: Not a fan of Señor Wences are you?