ENT Caption Competition #102: Sid Meier's Star Trek

[Nebusj]

OK, so two weeks was a bit of an optimistic projection. I had computer problems, I'm sorry. Also pinball league. Nothing serious. I didn't play the Star Trek 2013 table in league play, although I did have a personal record on the most recent code patch that was pretty satisfying. Also a trip overseas and a wedding anniversary. It's been busy. I'm here again. Sorry for the delays.

Anyway, on to the winners of the long Competition #101!



Winning the ``Adaptable Interface'' Award is:

Tucker: "Captain, I've told you before, it's a input/output socket to network aux. devices.

Acher: "Okay, so why is it soft sided inside?

Tucker: "So it can accommodate slightly different sized plugs.

Archer: "And I can get my penis out how?"

Reminding us as ever to check the phase alignment exactly seven times before leaving the room is ...

(Thinking) Did I leave the Kir'Shara on?

This week's existential horror of the inanimate --- against considerable competition, by the way --- is:

Pie: Oh God, it's Phlox and that damn tongue. Please don't eat me!!

From the ``You Only Say That Because You Haven't Seen My DeviantArt Favorites Page'' ...

T'Pol (thinking): Between this image, and the one from last week with Shran and I, it would seem that Nebusj has an unhealthy fascination with my head...

Reminding us to never buy the full download until you've perused the sample files ...

Archer: I think Soval may have overstated the usefulness of the Vulcan star charts...

Reminding us that practical effects are hard, people, is ...

Director: Perhaps we should have got someone who's actually seen snow and ice outside of their refrigerator to design these props.

And reminding us that that's why they realized four weeks later they'd left him behind ...

REED: Sorry, Travis. You're a little too tall, and a little too heavy, for me to carry over the threshold.

Reminding us that this is why they stopped letting him freestyle these missions is ...

TRAVIS: [piloting] That's the great thing about space - there's no up or down or left or right, just infinite space in every direction. Whee!
REED : Blaaaaaaarrgh.

Our Barney Google In The 24th Century Winner is ...

ARCHER: And here I thought the "toothless yokel" was a stereotype.

(Yes, I know Barney Google was the city slicker and Sniffy Smith the yokel too.)



Always worth a try:

Chakotay: End program...

And this week's psychodrama is ...

T'POL (Thinking): That slice of pecan pie looks really delicious, and the Captain looks like he isn't going to touch it.

T'POL (Thinking): I really want that slice of pie. But if I asked for it, it might come off as a sign of softness and vulnerability that the Captain would use to try to bond with me. I can not allow that.

T'POL: Captain, if you are not going to eat your pie, perhaps I should bring it to waste reclamation for you.
ARCHER: Oh, go ahead, I'm full.
T'POL: (Thinking) YES!!!

Filed under ``Lessons Learned'' is ...

TRIP: Ah, say we open'r up and let him out. What's the worst that khan happin'?

And filed under ``Nobody else saw Popeye in his face? Huh'' is ...

ARCHER: I'm gonna have to ask you to cut back on the "hillbilly" thing.

Thanks ever so to the many people who wrote in and had captions. For competition 102, we turn to the next episode of the series and, I'm afraid, one that has fewer pictures of pie. I'm not saying this is a worse episode of Enterprise, but it could easily have supported more baked goods at least.

Best of luck to everyone and thanks so for keeping on here.

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARCHERL Dammit, I said never to call when I'm cosplaying Game of Thrones!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Reed, OS: Annnnnd that's why I told you not to hit that button.

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

Archer (thinking.) "Who's Captain Archer? Where am I? I was Agent Dwayne Pride a second ago. Al!"

 

[Avro Arrow]

Thanks for the wins, Nebusj!

Archer: You know, lieutenant, you don't have to keep playing that game. We're in space... you can look at *real* asteroids.
Reed: Ah, but can we shoot them?
Archer: Didn't we just blow up part of a comet last week?
Reed: Yes, but what have you done for me lately?

Archer (thinking): So.... what is it with me and secret underground facilities, anyway?

T'Pol: What does that button do?
Archer: No clue; I can't read this alien script.
T'Pol: Then how can you push it?
Archer: Um, it's a button.
T'Pol: No, I mean how can you justify the risk of pushing a button when you have no idea what the outcome of said action will be?
Archer: ... I don't understand the question.

 

[joededman]

Tucker: It's the sacred boxes of the zombie apocalypse!
<Starts walking toward them>

Travis: I know this one. I seen it in 'Mass Effect, Double Diamond Edition'. Push the button ... ... now!

 

[ThankQ]

"Fuck what the guys in Props want, where am I supposed to carry anything else?"

 

[ThankQ]

T'Pol: Captain, if the Mickyians are allowed to join all three orbs, there may be no power in the universe than can stop the reign of Mouse.

 

[cooleddie74]

Thanks for the win!

T'Pol: "These sensors are picking up some very fuzzy and indistinct CGI splotches. There's nothing in either Earth records or the Vulcan database that resembles these images except for random background effects from the opening credits of several late 20th century dance shows."

Archer: "So is that where the Colonel keeps the secrets of his herbs and spices? Looks impressive. No wonder nobody's ever learned them."

Archer: "What is this, Commander?"

Trip: "From the looks of it, Sir, the Nia Peeples Dance Machine. And we just activated it.

Get down, everybody!"

 

[cooleddie74]

Trip: "Oh, yeah. That guy's gonna be bald by the time he's forty. I don't care which species you are, a man can tell these things."

"Uh-oh.

My Amazon.com deliveries are being abducted by aliens! That new bread machine is not going to enjoy being probed."

Archer: "Dammit, Subcommander, why didn't you TELL US the roaches on this planet were this big?!?"

Just a sprinkle a day makes the Malurians go away.™

 

[Avro Arrow]

T'Pol: Commander, is this really a legitimate use for the Omega-13 device?
Tucker: There's no way I'm lettin' the cap'n get away with taking the last piece of pie!

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARCHER: We're in luck. I think I've located the bathroom.

 

[cooleddie74]

Trip: "Man, they keep makin' these Bose Wave Radios cooler and more advanced with each new model!"

 

[Avro Arrow]

Archer: Thank God that Windows 2151 restored the "start" button... AGAIN!

 

[cooleddie74]

Archer: "Internet Explorer 96 may have lots of cool new features, but it's still slower than a sublight ore freighter."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Archer: "There! Fuck! Finally! I figured out how to turn on the TV! At least this one had buttons. Goddman these new television sets."

 

[Ithekro]

We'll enter here in this remote region they call the "Game Grid". Then we will work our way to the MCP to regain control of the ship's computers.

 

[cooleddie74]

Trip: "These new XBox 6000 interfaces are confusing as hell. I don't know how I'm going to play any games on this thing."

 

[cooleddie74]

Archer: "Hey.

Wait a minute.

I went to high school with that girl!!!"

"Archer to Enterprise.

Have Dr. Phlox alter Commander Tucker's appearance, get him dressed in some appropriate clothing and send him down here in a shuttlepod. We found something that needs deep-frying and it looks like it goes great with whiskey!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARCHER: Set magnification to creepily intrusive.