ENT Caption Competition #101: Breaking The Bow

[Nebusj]

Hello again all, and I apologize for vanishing. May turned out to be a busier month than I imagined, and I just had to let my TrekBBS social obligations drop while I tended other things. On the bright side this gave people the time for a lot of very fine captions and Photoshop manipulations.

It's going to be another couple weeks before I'm quite back to normal, as well, but this time I am planning deliberately to run a two-week contest. This'll be done with a set of pictures for today and then a supplemental set later on.

And now to the winners of Caption Competition number 100:



Our host for the Saturday Night Safety Dance is ...

Vulcan: Best rave ever

Winning the 'Once You've Seen It You Can Never Unsee It' trophy --- don't put it on your mantle whatever you do --- is:

Trying to keep a straight face while wondering who's cousin in wardrobe got the contract to tape 'cowl extensions' on white hoodies for the Vulcan robes.

And winning the coveted 'Actually, we get a lot of pasta so maybe you should ask for something else' dinner plate:

T'Pol: I'm just saying, just because I'm a vegetarian doesn't mean I *only* eat vegetables. Would it kill chef to make me a nice pasta?

Debuting this Saturday on TCM just after Tom Schiller's Nothing Lasts Forever ...

Stanley Kubrick's Enterprise.

A vision of the future you won't soon forget.

With the warning that they absolutely kill at Rock-Phaser-Scissors ...

Trip: "You Vulcans absolutely suck at playing tiddly-winks.

Here. Let a real pro show you how it's done."

This week's Sorry About That, Chief was provided by ...

Archer: How much pressure do I apply to the sacred stone?

Cracking sound

T'Pol: Less than that.

Challenging the rules to the world this week is a triple play courtesy ...

TRIP: Challenge! KRONOS is a proper noun!

Archer: Challenge! You mean Qo'noS ... Kronos was a titan

T'Pol: "No. Kronos is one of the villains on Stargate."

For the Photoshop Winners of the Week ...

We have a shameless puppet and Melmackian merchandise:

Archer: "Oh my God! A.L.F. is back! In pog form!"

And a moment of ``Yeah, really, why play if you're going to be like this'':

Shran: I swear, you Vulcans aren't even trying anymore.

And finally --- and against stiff competition --- my Belly Laugh of the Week:

REED: When you said Space Hobbits, I was sure you were joking....

Thanks all for your patience and your ingenuity, folks, and now let's begin the 101st of the Caption Competitions!

Good luck and good inspirations to everyone. And come next week there'll be a supplement to boost our fun with this cometary episode.

 

[cooleddie74]

Thanks for the wins! It's been a very long time since I jumped into one of these Caption Contests. Nice to know you guys still appreciate my profound and disturbing dementia after all that time away from the contests.

 

[cooleddie74]

T'Pol: "This drawing is flattering, but inaccurate. I only look like that after drinking Commander Tucker's whiskey."

Archer: "No, Trip.

We can't take a few hours off, stand around this screen and play you at Super Mario Brothers."

Malcolm: "All this snow. All this freezing cold. It reminds me of the coke parties at the 602 Club during the winter."

"Great. My bladder decides NOW is the time to get revenge for that toilet whiskey Commander Tucker cooked up."

Maybe she's born with it.

Maybe it's Mount Seleya™.

Trip: "Pecan pie is an amazing thing, guys. It got me through both high school and my Starfleet training.

Well, pecan pie, Ruby from the 602 Club and a two hundred-year-old bottle of Jack Daniel's."

 

[T'Girl]

Tucker: "Captain, I've told you before, it's a input/output socket to network aux. devices.

Acher: "Okay, so why is it soft sided inside?

Tucker: "So it can accommodate slightly different sized plugs.

Archer: "And I can get my penis out how?"

Tucker: "I love me pecan pie."

T'Pol: "It's mostly sugar."

Tucker: "Yes it is ...... what's ya point?"

 

[cooleddie74]

Trip: This thing stream Netflix?

 

[Ithekro]

!

T'Pol: The emotional conflict of my species is captured in abstract by this piece. What medium is this?

Trip: Crayon.

Archer: I seem to have misplaced my glasses, all I see are a bunch of boobs.

T'Pol: Really Captain. I don't think you should stoop to such a level about my physical appearance, nor in such...

Archer: Not you, Sub-commander. This idiot in front of me and those two on the other side of the table.

Reed: Is this another single biosphere planet? I hate single biosphere planets.

Trip: Its a comet. It isn't even big enough to be a dwarf planet.

Reed: Don't even get me started on the likes of Ceres.

Trip: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney.

Reed: Maybe we should name a starship after the Miranda Rights.

Trip: Will you stop thinking about hardware for a minute and help me get this perp back to the shuttle.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
What we see:

What she sees:

What she is feeling:

She puts on a cold face, but everyone knows she is smiling like a little kid inside over that pie.

 

[tharpdevenport]

"Oh crap. The Picard has been here. Phase pistols at the ready!"

 

[Hutchy01]

Thanks for the win ... if you ever do a north star based contest use that pic!

Snowman: Merry Christmas MOTHERFUCKER!

 

[T'Girl]

Reed: "LENS FLARE !!!!"

Trip: "Damn, the movie didn't even get that original."

 

[cooleddie74]

Malcolm: "Contact the ship. Tell the Captain that we found the last Wonka Golden Ticket. Inform him we'll need to use our phase pistols to remove it from the cometary ice."

 

[Nerys Myk]

T'POL: And what does Gaby call this drawing?

ARCHER: Uh..."Spaced Vulcan".

T'POL: I see.

ARCHER: Some kids hold a grudge.

ARCHER: No one leaves till I find out who took the last fudgesicle from the freezer!

T'POL: Whoa, I gotta stop smoking the plomeek.

 

[cooleddie74]

(Thinking) Did I leave the Kir'Shara on?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

T'Pol: The engineering cadets have expressed a desire to draw my 'O' face next. I believe this would be inappropriate.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

TRIP: That's so unrealistic. That Vulcan looks way too happy.

ARCHER: Daniels made an interesting suggestion to me.
T'POL: What was that?
ARCHER: He said, Starfleet computer consoles should have useful symbols on them instead of a lot of random lines and rectangles. he makes a good point, these computer screens are useless.
T'POL: We can't pollute the timeline. Stick with the random lines and rectangles.

ARCHER: Who put all these random chest height obstacles in the middle of a corridor?
SHEPHARD: (Aims assault rifle) Who the hell are you?
LIARA: Should we shoot them?
SHEPHARD: No, they don't appear red on the radar.

ARCHER: THIS is the super-intelligent AI that has been enslaving this planet?
SNOWMAN: Who is this guy? I expected Kirk.

REED: I can't figure it out. Why can't I meet any women?
TRIP: Maybe it's because you keep asking them to call you 'Stinky'. That's kind of weird.
REED: No, it's cute!

T'POL (Thinking): That slice of pecan pie looks really delicious, and the Captain looks like he isn't going to touch it.

T'POL (Thinking): I really want that slice of pie. But if I asked for it, it might come off as a sign of softness and vulnerability that the Captain would use to try to bond with me. I can not allow that.

T'POL: Captain, if you are not going to eat your pie, perhaps I should bring it to waste reclamation for you.
ARCHER: Oh, go ahead, I'm full.
T'POL: (Thinking) YES!!!

 

[cooleddie74]

Trip: "Nice!

The Captain's drawing skills are getting a lot better."

Archer: "Trip, please remove some of these desktop apps.

We don't need Angry Sehlats on this mission, nor on any mission."

Travis: "The North Pole's gotten a lot more dangerous ever since Santa got those death threats and erected the Workshop Defense System."

Malcolm: "Quick. Give the snowman boobs and let's get out of here before she sees this."

Malcolm: "I hope that's space pudding."

"Perhaps if I contact Ambassador Soval and file a formal request with the Vulcan Embassy I can avoid participating in 'A Night in Sickbay.' "

Odo: in any century of Starfleet history, a most skilled shapeshifter.

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Trip: It's Ms. Pac-Man.
Archer. I know what it is, but Trip, we have no money and we have no replicators to make money. Where are we going to get "quarters" to play this damn thing?
T'Pol; One of Phlox's animals produces something similar to a "quarter." Perhaps it will work?

 

[cooleddie74]

T'Pol: "It appears, Captain, as if Commander Tucker has indeed sunk your Battleship.

You have, if I understand the rules correctly, lost this game."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Pie: Oh God, it's Phlox and that damn tongue. Please don't eat me!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

TRIP: Ah, say we open'r up and let him out. What's the worst that khan happin'?

 

[cooleddie74]

And now with the lastest advances in optronic memory, Pepperidge Farm™ remembers better than ever.