ENT Caption Competition #100: The Andorian Centennial

[Nebusj]

I'm sorry to have disappeared without much trace for a week there but I promise it was a thing that happened, almost certainly for some reason or other. The contest starting this week is numbered 100 in this string and I confess I don't know how far back it goes, and what Caption This style contests were running before. In any event I'm glad to reach such a nice round three-digit number and hope to keep running these for some time to come.


I'd also like to know what people thought of last week's improvisation, when I added a second week to the contest and a couple of extra pictures. Might try it again if people felt it spruced up the affair.

In any case, for the augmented Caption Competition #99 please let me present ... the winners!


Winning the coveted ``Who?'' trophy was ...

ARCHER: Don't fire! You might hit Travis!

T'POL: Who?

And taking home a ``What?'' was ...

So you're saying we've been using indelible inks during our squirt gun battles?

The prize for ``Where?'' went to ...

Reed to Enterprise: I have found Commander Tucker in a miniature cup.

And for ``When?'', oddly enough ...

Voice Over: Where will you be when xenophobia strikes?

This week's big ``How?'' is, naturally enough, awarded to ...

Archer: Doc, you're not relaxing. You look like you're waiting to be frisked!
Phlox: I am waving my hands like I "just don't care".

Tying this week for the coveted Mark Trail Trophy In Acknowledgement Of How Nature Is Trying To Kill You are ...

ARCHER: What's that Porthos? Trip's trapped in a well?

... and ...

Archer: GROOT! LET HIM GO!!!!

And to wrap up a really good week the best belly laugh I got was courtesy ...

Phlox: I was NOT muttering "Some day, you puny little Earthlings" under my breath.
*mutter*...puny, nosy little earthlings...

Again, thanks to everyone who enters these. It's all part of making the group better.


For this week and for the 100th or thereabouts of these caption contests we turn to the ancient Vulcan shrine of the snoopy, eavesdropping gods. Catching my eye were:

Good luck to all!

 

[Finn]

Riker: Psst... I'm William Riker, a Starfleet Commander from about two centuries into the future. I've come back in time to warn you. You had a fly during your famous speech at the Federation Charter. Zip up before you go up there!

Geordi: (OS) *snicker* I can't believe he bought it

Miles: (OS) I'll be damned.

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARCHER: Palmolive?

T'MADGE: You're soaking in it.

 

[joededman]

Better get this one in here quick before someone else does it;

Andorian: So you got to ask yourself just one question; Do I feel lucky? Do ya, punk?
T'Pol: [sigh] I just love his Clint Eastwood imitation.

 

[Ithekro]

Primary reason for a large number of retakes on Enterprise: Great Food.

Archer: What is in the box?

Reverend Mother: Pain.

Tell me more about this Sigma Iota II.

Vulcans attempt to look natural by milling about with various levels of success.

Archer: I told you we don't use money on Earth anymore, so I have to figure out what is worth what here.

T'Pol: It is only quatloos, Captain.

Shran: How did they get all this in here? I'm pretty sure the mountain isn't this big.

T'Pol: We have a deal with Gallifrey. They keep the Daleks out of this Quadrant of space and we deny time travel exists. It was worked for millenia.

Archer: So you did believe me.

T'Pol: No.

Shran: Gallifrey, is that near Alderaan?

T'Pol: No, next galaxy over towards Kobal.

The ale...it was blue.

 

[joededman]

T'Pol [as she's carefully cutting up her celery stick]: Touch my food with your bare hands and you will die.

Here we have a rare shot of the Vulcan variation of Musical Chairs. When the chanting in the main hall stops, one must grab one of the ornate clubs off the wall and strike down one and only one other member of the group you are waiting with. Typically, losers of multiple games do suffer from brain damage and get shipped off to Romulus.

Here we have a variation of the game Scrabble. Played without a board, the tiles are already complete words and the scores are part of the hieroglyphics etched on each one. Overall scoring is a complicated, though highly logical part of the game with certain phrases garnering higher scores that others. "You sensitive clod" (loose translation) seems to be one of the highest scoring phrases that you can use.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Archer: "Trip, eat your vegetables. There are starving children on some planet or other."

 

[T'Girl]

Trip: ""Where's the beef?"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Thanks for the wins!

 

[cooleddie74]

Trip: "What, no Combos or Cheez-Its?

Come on, guys, let's get outta here!"

Archer: "Look, if this is some weird Vulcan sex thing I have to say....I'm not interested."

Trip: "Speak for yourself, Sir!"

Shran: "So. Which one of you Pink Skins wants to see my famous puppet trick?"

Vulcans approached the concept of the human steam bath with predictable enthusiasm.

Trip: "Great. We don't have enough Chuck E. Cheese pizza tokens to get the stuffed sehlat."

Archer: "What are we looking at, Subcommander?"

T'Pol: "You are looking at the oldest known Vulcan Starbucks, Captain. For centuries they have served the most potent and overpriced herbal beverages in this quadrant."

Shran: "You Vulcans....you disgust me."

"Your Earth college initiation rituals....they are not logical."

 

[tharpdevenport]

"If only I had an evil beard to stroke maniacally."

 

[cooleddie74]

Anbesol™

The logical choice for toothache pain.

 

[hux]

Archer: I'm just gonna leave this bogey here

Archer: I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth
Man: That's great but that's not a bible, it's my soup

Shran: Hey guys, does this pose make me look more badass

Vulcan: Best rave ever

Archer: This is the hardest jigsaw I've ever done

Vulcan: And here's your room, no wait sorry, that our secret underground lair, my mistake

Vulcan: I was hoping you'd stroke something else but this works too

 

[tharpdevenport]

Archer (off screen): "Sorry, it's just hard to to take your seriously even when your holding to laser pistols, when your antenna pick up Escape by Rupert Holmes and braodcast it through your communicator."

 

[cooleddie74]

Shran: "The water, Pink Skins. Hand over the water. NOW.

Don't force us to empty our Super Soakers into a species we just met."

 

[joededman]

Trying to keep a straight face while wondering who's cousin in wardrobe got the contract to tape 'cowl extensions' on white hoodies for the Vulcan robes.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Is this the Vulcan version of the Simon game?

I won a championship when I was a little kid. Just thought I'd mention that."

 

[Avro Arrow]

T'Pol: I'm just saying, just because I'm a vegetarian doesn't mean I *only* eat vegetables. Would it kill chef to make me a nice pasta?

Archer: Archer, Jonathan.
Vulcan: Identity confirmed. Please follow the guard for your body cavity search.
Archer: Is this really necessary?
Vulcan: Regulations, captain. Thank you for flying Vulcan Air.

Shran: You want my officially-licensed Star Trek: Enterprise™ T'Pol Head Wig Stand? Come and take it from me!

Vulcan on far right: Only having one toilet at a facility this size is not logical!

Shran: I knew it! You've been spying on us!
Vulcan: Nonsense, commander. This is a monastery. This equipment allows us to talk to God.
Archer: So you're saying this is a communications array to connect you to... heaven?
Vulcan: Illogical humans. God isn't in heaven.
Archer: And where exactly would He be?
Vulcan: The centre of the galaxy, of course. Haven't you watched Star Trek V?

Vulcan: Hmm... I wonder, is it possible we are all just characters in some future holographic recreation? No, wait, that would be ridiculous!

 

[cooleddie74]

Trip: "You got any asparagus? I've got a great idea for prank to play on the Captain the next time he has to use the bathroom."

Shran: "I should have known.

Vulcans working with Pink Skins. They'll join forces with any species that makes them look marginally less douchey."

 

[eyeresist]

ARCHER: I don't want to do this, but I'll keep going until one of you celery sticks tells me what I need to know!

SHRAN: Did you really think this wax head would impress us?

Oh God, they're all so much younger than me!