DS9 Caption That # "The Found & The Captioned"

[Triskelion]

And if you'd stop ordering Dax to handle your spent tissues her hands will be able to readjust to this spacetime.

Kira (over loudspeaker): All personnel stand by, we're about to disengage the bizarro field.

 

[Rat Boy]

Jake suddenly realizes he doesn't have enough latinum to afford her.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Bashier: "I'm sorry commander, I warned you about having sex with a Trill. The spots have moved down to your penis."

 

[Pahwraith]

Have you noticed how firm my breasts are becoming? Not that we care about such things in this day and age.

 

[cooleddie74]

JULIAN:"I've got good news...and bad news.

The good is that you, Commander, are no longer infected with the Saltan'ha energy entities.

The bad? Jadzia has the clap."

JAKE:"Can...can I put my face between your breasts and make blowing sounds? I've ALWAYS wanted to do that, but my dad won't let me when he's around..."

 

[cooleddie74]

"It's just as I suspected, Commander.

That beef and bean casserole in Quark's? The cause of your leaky anus."

 

[Rat Boy]

Sisko: "We didn't even get a mention in the new EW article?"

Bashir: "Nope; just TNG and Enterprise."

Sisko: "Fuck!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Your insurance didn't go through, Commander. I'm sorry.

I'm afraid I'll have to remove the penile implant."

 

[Rat Boy]

Jake's act to seduce her suddenly failed when she discovered he was only drinking ginger ale.

 

[S'kai]

Jake: Keep . . . looking . . . at . . . the . . . eyes . . .

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"You mean to tell me Jadzia contracted Curzon's Denobulan jaguar crabs and now she has given them to me?"

 

[Captain Leslie]

"Girl" : Actually they are my Testicles...but you can look at them anyway.

Jake; So your name is Lola?....

Bashir: Im waiting tables Captain, because you wouldn't keep quiet about the little 'Operations'. Table near an airlock?


Extra credit

OK so were the B team. I can go with that!

 

[cooleddie74]

"Good news, Commander!

I can get the dead gerbil out, but you're going to have to cooperate and remain perfectly still."

 

[cooleddie74]

DABO GIRL:"Care to take a free spin on my face, Jake?

I promise...the only thing it'll cost you is your dignity."

 

[Judas Ascendant]

This round's winners

Jake: "I want to share an old earth custom with you called, "Motorboat".

Jake: "No *laughs*, you don't lean forward. I do *laughs*"

I now pronounce you...


Sisko: That's not funny.

Jake: "Hi, I'm Jake, you must be Melony..."
Girl: "No it's not my name, I'm..."
Jake: "Sorry, I made a bit of a boob. Let's make a clean breast of it..."

Jake pained: "Can you pull your fingernails out of my scrotum?"
Girl: "Can you pull your gaze away from my tits?"

...

...

Jake: "Oh God! I can't choose!"

Bashir: "The good news is that I've reattached your son's genitals. The bad news that I've been unable to extract him from the Dabo Girl's cleavage."

The prize

A Cardassian PADD

Download The Never-Ending Sacrifice and other Cardassian classics.

PADD Comes with the classic tale: How The Grinch Stole Christmas And Paid For His Crimes With His Life

Enjoy.....

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

Damn it!! I want that padd!!!!

I bet the AU-fic about a certain person who got away with murder thanks to the jury having a little meeting with Cardassian justice instead would be TONS of fun...

"The crime is double murder! The sentence is death! Let the trial begin!"

 

[John Picard]

WOO HOOO!!!!!

BOOBIES!