DS9 Caption That # "Bedside Manner"

[Judas Ascendant]

This round's pics

Extra Credit

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Chase: "What do you mean... 'banned'?"

Siddig: "Sorry Chase. You just aren't welcome at TrekBBS."

Jadzia: "Wait, wait, wait!!! She dumped you for who...!?"

Abrams' Klingons were a significant departure from the norm.

 

[Rat Boy]

Leeta: "I shouldn't have had that chili."

Bashir: "You shouldn't have had that chili."

Dax: "She had the chili?"

Joker: "Wait a minute, that's the bank manager from Heat. Ah crap."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Leeta: "They're looking at my cleavage?"

Bashir: "It's okay. It's okay for people to look at them. It's nice cleavage."

Dax: "Blah blah blah blah"
Bashir: "Blah blah blah blah blah."
Audience: "mmmm Cleavage!"

Clown: "I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?"

Parent: "Worst children's entertainer, ever!"

 

[Mistral]

"I, I think I swallowed it!"

"It's ok, we can take you to the infirmary and pump your stomach."

Dax: "She swallowed it? She didn't know about Ferengi sperm, did she?"

This is what Ferengi sperm looks like on the microscopic level.

 

[Alrik]

Wow. Thanks.

Leeta: "Shit! That wasn't my birth date, that was my PIN."

Bashir: "Never mind my thumb in your ass. It's an old earth cure for hiccups."

Dax: "She's not even wearing a bra!"

Leeta: "Yeah, go ahead and laugh it up spots. Press both of your's together and you won't match even ONE of these."

"I've seen The Dark Knight 127 times...why do you ask?"

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Bashir: "This is the best body-swap episode EVER!!!"

 

[Mistral]

Bashir: "This is the best body-swap episode EVER!!!"

*thinks for a moment* "And these things feel terrific!"

 

[TEH BABA]

Leeta horrified that Jadzia had a sex change at starfleet academy.

 

[Deckerd]

You might feel a slight prick

 

[Alrik]

Bashir: "Yes Dax, I'll give you that. They are perky and firm. But you must admit..."

Dax: "What?"

Leeta: "You've got to be kidding me, right?"

 

[Alrik]

Bashir: "You're leaving me for Rom? You've got to be shitting me."

Leeta: "Did I say that out loud?"

Bashir: "I'm being Punked', right?"

 

[Daneel]

LEETA: "Aw, dammit, I glued my hand to my mouth! Oh no, now the other one's stuck to my breasts! Julian!"

BASHIR: "Hmmm... this is industrial-strength, super-adhesive Tarkelian glue. The only substance that could break it down and get your hands unstuck is xyllironite. I'm afraid there's none on the station, but I could get some here by next week --"

DAX (walking up): "Actually Julian, there's no need. As it so happens, my lipstick is made from a xyllironite-based compound -- it should do the trick. If I just use my lips on the affected areas..." (She proceeds to do so for the next few minutes).

DAX: "There we go -- problem solved! Now, what did you want to talk to me about Julian?"

BASHIR: (Stares blankly)

DAX: "Julian?"

BASHIR: (Faints)

 

[Judas Ascendant]

This round's winners

LEETA: "Aw, dammit, I glued my hand to my mouth! Oh no, now the other one's stuck to my breasts! Julian!"

BASHIR: "Hmmm... this is industrial-strength, super-adhesive Tarkelian glue. The only substance that could break it down and get your hands unstuck is xyllironite. I'm afraid there's none on the station, but I could get some here by next week --"

DAX (walking up): "Actually Julian, there's no need. As it so happens, my lipstick is made from a xyllironite-based compound -- it should do the trick. If I just use my lips on the affected areas..." (She proceeds to do so for the next few minutes).

DAX: "There we go -- problem solved! Now, what did you want to talk to me about Julian?"

BASHIR: (Stares blankly)

DAX: "Julian?"

BASHIR: (Faints)

Bashir: "You're leaving me for Rom? You've got to be shitting me."

Leeta: "Did I say that out loud?"

Bashir: "I'm being Punked', right?"

The prize

An Odo action figure.

Need someone who looks vaguely like you to stand in for you at school?

Need a really good chastity belt?

Do you need a way to infiltrate the lair of your enemies?

Now you have means to your ends....

 

[Daneel]

Thank you very much for the win!

The prize

An Odo action figure.

Awesome. Is that a phaser he's holding in his hand? You know, the thing he never used? Nice to see these toy-makers checking their facts first.

Need a really good chastity belt?

No thanks... the one I've apparently got seems to be working fine.