Contest: ENTER DS9 Caption Contest 134: The Matrix Has You

[Smellincoffee]

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd we're back! With new pictures to stick captions on! Woo!

Hutchy01's "Back Off, Man, We're Scientists!"

Who you Gonna call?

Triskelion knows only Imperials are so imprecise:

Leeta: Are those...Imperial Stormtroopers?
Kira: Judging from the hit ratio - no.

Leviathan bids a fond farewell to our aged comrade!

O'Brien: 20 years? That's nothing. I was once trapped in a Caption Contest Sticky for...well, a while.

The Laughing Vulcan's Rank hath its privileges.

Sisko: "I'm here to gloat at the prisoner."
Ensign: "Gloating hour finished ten minutes ago, sir. It's taunting time now."
Sisko: "Captain's privilege. I've worked up a good head of gloat and intend to expend it on this prisoner. Is that clear?"

And finally, just in time for the Memorial Day weekend:

Kira: "I didn't know you could set phasers to 'Fourth of July'"
Rom: "Uuuhhh, I should have brought hot dogs."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win, and the EC!

The Laughing Vulcan's Rank hath its privileges.

Sisko: "I'm here to gloat at the prisoner."
Ensign: "Gloating hour finished ten minutes ago, sir. It's taunting time now."
Sisko: "Captain's privilege. I've worked up a good head of gloat and intend to expend it on this prisoner. Is that clear?"

And finally, just in time for the Memorial Day weekend:

Kira: "I didn't know you could set phasers to 'Fourth of July'"
Rom: "Uuuhhh, I should have brought hot dogs."

Nog: "I sold Keevan's brain to a bunch of Eymorgs on Sigma Draconis VI. The body works just fine on remote."
Quark: "You sold his brain? Nog! They're going to have to rewrite the 22nd Rule for you."
Rom: "That's my son!"

Bashir: "It's just a misunderstanding. We can sort this out if we just talk face to... arse?"

Weyoun: "The chubby human? He's perfectly fine. Once a month the Founder can get a little eccentric with the forms she shifts into. But she is a God, and there is a divine plan. Ours not to question."

Hagath: "Gaila! Didn't I say to ditch the weapons designed by otaku? Who needs a phaser that can be set to Rasengan?"

O'Brien: "Julian! What the hell happed to you?"
Bashir: "I've been waiting for them, to unpin Caption Contest 98."

 

[TommyR01D]

Provided Gaila could get them some swords, the Ferengi were ready to present their Hobbit adaptation.

After Jadzia had spurned him once too often, Julian's passions quickly grew out of control.

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW Smellincoffee!

Rom: Hey, wasn't this an episode called "Spock's Brain?"
Nog: No! For one thing, our guy's weird ears are way more streamlined!

Bashir: Oh, now I remember you!

Bashir: Oops, we better tell Quark this isn't the sexy holonovel we requested.
Patrick: Now hold on a minute....

Hagath: I told you to crawl back to your little stone on Ferenginar before you got squashed.
Quark: Victor Maitland! That's where I know you from! 48 Hours!
Hagath: That was the Breaking Bad guy, you idiot! ...I mean, what are you talking about?

O'Brien: No, I don't think Hollywood will be interested in your concept "Real Life: Coma Ward."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

QUARK: Can you control his vocal chords? Make him say "Ferengi are AWESOME!"

BASHIR: You seem kind of bitter about not having the same gravity-tempered skeleton as other people.
MELORA: What of it?
BASHIR: All I'm saying. Hundreds of different races in the Federation all with different environmental needs. Some of them are assigned to ships that don't quite meet theirs, you're the first one I've met who is obnoxiously defensive about it.
MELORA: That's it, I'm flipping away from you.

WEYOUN: You mean in the Federation people who have committed no crime are locked up and kept from good jobs just because of their genetic makeup? Perhaps we have something in common after all.

HAGATH: Profit and Lace...was not...FUNNY!

O'BRIEN: Wait, you're in a dream coma, and I'm a figment of your imagination?
BASHIR: I don't know what to do.
O'BRIEN: Have you tried coming to an emotional revelation about yourself? That's usually the cure for dream comas.
BASHIR: Brilliant!

 

[Leviathan]

Deleted scene from the end of 'The Magnificent Ferrengi":

Nog: It will work. Even the sequel made $5 million! Trust me, Humans will love 'Weekend at Bernies: The Next Generation".

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Keevan: Your treatment is pathetic. Crystals are NO cure for a hangover!

 

[Finn]

Odo: *wakes up from regeneration* Damn it! That was only a dream

Bashir: What's wrong?
Miles: Nothing. It just feels odd seeing someone other than me being tortured

 

[tharpdevenport]

Next time, on Star Trek: Deep Space Pun...

Bashier: "Hey, what's up?"

Female officer: "Oh, just hanging around."

 

[bbjeg]

Melora: I'm Batman.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Bashir came to realize that Melora was, literally, talking out of her ass.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Quark: DON'T HURT THE MERCHANDISE.

O'Brien: Why are you watching security footage of yourself sleeping, Julian?
Julian: Proof, Miles, proof. The women insist I snore.

Keevan: What is a "ventriloquist"?

Melora: Julian! Wait a sec, I'll spin around.
Bashir: I don't mind this view.

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

Oh, what a feeling! When you're dancing on the ceiling!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Little known fact: by the 24th century, clones had become like cats, where people would put weird shit on their heads and takes pictures and post to youtube. Little did this clone know that a giant slice of beard was soon to be fixed around his head.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Vorjazzling was the latest craze

 

[Triskelion]

Melora: How dare you call me high-maintenance! <spins away crying>

Hagath: Would you like phaser foam art of coffee beans or a little heart? A little Klingon Bird of Prey?
Quark: Ooh, can you do a Spock salute?
Brunt: I've been waiting like ten minutes, just shoot me in the face.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Next time, on next week's "Star Trek: Deep Space Pun"...

Bashier: "High five?" raises a hand.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MELORA: You wanna stopping humming "Dancing On the Ceiling"?

 

[Smellincoffee]

Melora: Julian? Why are you hanging from the ceiling?
(Eeerie music)

 

[Nerys Myk]

MELORA: Up is a relative concept