DS9 Caption Contest 125: The Defiant Ones

[Smellincoffee]

Welcome back, folks! It's caption time!

​

First, this weeks' winners, and the Delayed Participation award!

Q: It's still more fun to watch auctions on spaceBay and see people massively up the bid at the .01 second mark.!

The "Big No":

Q: I hope you realize that now and for all time hot dogs will come in packages of eight and buns in packages of twelve.
Sisko: QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Force is With This Trek!

VASH: No, I'm not coming with you, and yes, I AM keeping the lightsaber! That was kind of an awesome gift.

Vash's Final Frontier

Vash: Please Quark. Not in front of the Klingons.

No Flame Tindered Here:

O'BRIEN: How's the internet dating going?
Left swipe
Left swipe
Left swipe
Left swipe

And finally, with extra points for quoting ol' John Luck Pickard:

Kira: Shakespeare? Oh I know Shakespeare, sir, and what Hamlet said with irony, I say with - hang on - I had it here somewhere....
O'Brien: Oh just forget it, Q's heard that one already.
Kira: Here it is. "Oh what a piece of tail is Beverly." The hell? Chief, are you sure you downloaded the right Captain's log?
O'Brien: We're Starfleet. We never lie.

And now, this week's entries, all in or around the Defiant.

May the odds be ever in your favor!

 

[Nerys Myk]

JAKE: In the old days, they were so big, you could stuff the body of a full grown Vulcan in one.

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Dax: A story about all of us being transported back to the 1950s as science fiction writers? It seems corny, like a sitcom plot, like when Gilligan would get hit in the head with a coconut and dream up an alternative life.

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW & ECA Smellincoffee!

Bashir: As you can see the helm has been stinknuts-proofed.
Sisko: Good thing I've been doing yoga!


http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[JirinPanthosa]

SISKO: Dude, you're blocking my view.

KIRA: Do you get lower back and neck pain after hunching over these near-horizontal screens?
DAX: That's what I've been saying for 200 years!

SISKO: George R R Martin, you asshole.
DAX: I told you the seventh book was a bloodbath.

JAKE: You know I think I'm going to do an editorial on you. "My friend, the first Ferengi in Starfleet."
NOG: I'd rather you didn't.
JAKE: All about how our human influences turned you away from your archaic, barbaric Ferengi greed, toward a noble human purpose!
NOG: You know I'm fixing the detonator on a torpedo, right?

NOG: Do they just realize this ear piece gives me an excuse to touch my ears while on the job?

KIRA: Officer, report!
OFFICER: Pairs of two people are trapped in small spaces together throughout the ship.
KIRA: Are they having emotional revelations and gaining a greater understanding of each other?
OFFICER: Yes.
KIRA: Perfect.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRA: You gonna go on about Julian or are we gonna Bechdel this?

 

[T'Girl]

Dax: "gibber gibber gibber blah blah blah me me me me ..."

Sisko (fingers in his ears): " la la la la la la la ..."



.

 

[Finn]

Jadzia: ...Sorry, Benjamin. No grandkids yet

Sisko: Damn it! I knew that Nog would be a bad influence. I should have made him leave for Earth and live with Dad in New Orleans

 

[Nerys Myk]

DAX: Benny Russell?

SISKO: For some reason his work speaks to me.

 

[T'Girl]

DAX: Benny Russell?

SISKO: For some reason his work speaks to me.

DAX: Says here that the hero of the story is a sex machine to "all da bitches."

SISKO: Yes, and your point.

 

[Finn]

DAX: ....Benjamin, I have something I need to tell you in person. I hope it wouldn't upset you...

Sisko:.... And we won't see her for other two weeks, and her ship is out of com range. I hate it when she does it. Jennifer used to do the same thing. It turned out Jake just wrote a poop poem in kindergarten. I was worried sick for weeks.

 

[Triskelion]

Sisko: Watch out for that planet.
Pilot: That's a planet? I thought it was a big fat melon with a goatee.

Dax: Worf dated Deanna Troi??
Kira: Ha ha, you'd never catch me in one of those seventh-year forced pairings.

Dax: Well you see, Ziggy is returning the smart phone because it's too smart. It keeps arguing with him.

Nog: That's weird. This torpedo has a bumper sticker that says " Odo Rulz".
Torpedo: Tee Hee!

Nog: Isn't it ironic that the Federation now has to deal with aliens whose "character" is evident in their grotesque, misshapen physical features?
Kira: Come on, Ferengi ears aren't that bad.
Nog: I was talking about your big alien ass.

Com: Ops to Kira, did you forget to pay the electric bill again?
Kira: My bad - I guess now we're even for the Cardassian Occupation.
Com: Ok, but you can't say that every time you do something wrong.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Dax: "Huh. I finally figured it out."

Sisko: "You did? This complex subspace secret encoded transmission from the Dominion that I've ran threw all known computer algorithms?"

Dax: "No, why you're bald; you keep rubbing the sides of your head raw."

 

[joededman]

Sisko: If the ship designers had raised the view screen another two feet I wouldn't have to stand up to see over the helm.

[insert lame solitaire joke here]

Kira: Point that ear cam at my ass and I'll rip the ear lobes right off of your head.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kira: Point that ear cam at my ass and I'll rip the ear lobes right off of your head.

Nog: Well, it's kind of hard to miss...

 

[Avro Arrow]

Sisko: If the ship designers had raised the view screen another two feet I wouldn't have to stand up to see over the helm.

Bashir: Didn't *you* design the Defiant?
Sisko: Quiet, you!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Sisko: There it is. Surf City.
Bashir: Are there really..
Sisko: Two girls for every boy? Oh yeah.

 

[hux]

Bashir: It's a planet, captain

Sisko: So it's true. We are in space.

Kira: Just keep swiping right.

Dax: Dear Dominion. Please stop shooty our people and stuff. Yeah, it definitely needs more work.

Nog: Do I cut the red wire or the blue wire! We've only got ten more seconds!!

Jake: Do you think I'd look good with a mustache?

Kira: Nog, where is O'Brien?

Nog: Let me just quickly adjust the ear piece. He's... yup, he's laying some cable on deck five.

Officer: Captain, everyone died in the explosion.

Sisko: That's terrible.

Officer: And also... I got a scratch on my arm. It really fucking hurts.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Dax: How close are you to finishing NaNoWriMo?
Sisko: Two thousand words.
Dax: Two thousand short?
Sisko: I've only written two thousand.

 

[Finn]

Sisko: I can't figure it out. She was pissed at me for sending her this poem via subspace last week.

Dax: I might be wrong, but it may have been a good idea to replace "Jennifer" with "Kasidy" in the third verse....