DS9 Caption Contest 109: A Minor Case of Stark Raving Mad
- Thread starter Smellincoffee
- Start date
Sisko (off screen): "Miles! Stop playing with yourself!"
Smiley: Hi Miles! I am Smiley from the mirror universe. I've come to tell you that I am a Captain in the mu.
Miles: What?!!! But I thought everyone was worse of in the mu!!
Smiley: Well, it seems that you, er, WE are an exception.
Miles: That's unfair! Why do I always get the shit end of the stick?
Smiley: I think it's "short end".
Miles: Not to me, it isn't.
Smiley: I see what you mean...
O'Brien: Either someone is mucking about with the timeline, or that gin last night wasn't synthetic.
Bashir: Sugar free jam? I used to suspect the Dominion was evil, but that's just obscene!
Miles: If you're a transporter duplicate of me, pal, YOU can have Keiko. And the job. And even the name. I'll be Ed the private-sector engineer who goes to work, does the job, gets paid handsomely, and is never, ever, subjected to the mind-screwing horrors of this station.
Dukat: "I am the very model of a scientist Salarian!"
Weyoun: "My wife made these."
Bashir: "Must be why you are giving them to me."
Weyoun: "You have always been quite perceptive, Doctor."
Sort of Quark: "You should put your hand here."
Sort of Kira: "No, you should put your hand here."
Sort of O'Brien: "No, no, the hand goes on the ankle!"
Sort of Sisko: "You've all missed the spot but its real! Its real!!"
Woman: "I just wanted to say how sorry I was things got so screwed up between us."
Dax: "What does Marcellus Wallace look like?"
Uniformed O'Brien: "You look like crap."
Pajama O'Brien: "Look who's talking."
Uniformed O'Brien: "Counselor Troi sent me."
Pajama O'Brien: "And how does that make you feel?"
26 hour warning!
Dukat: Camping out with the Sisko means ... Jambalaya!
Dukat: I SHOULD HAVE KILLED THEM ALLLLLLL!
Sisko: The Bajorans?
Dukat: No, the dozen roses from my garden I wanted to snip and wrap with ribbons in a bundle just for you.
Sisko: Ohh?
Dukat: YES, THE BAJORANS!
Sisko: Awww.
Weyoun: Have you noticed Odo is never around for the Mystery Meat Special from Quark's?
Bashir: Is it Friday already?
Odo: Tee hee!
Benny: It's reeeeeal! It's reeeeal!
Kira: Racism in the 1950's?
Quark: Science fiction as a legitimate literary genre?
O'Brien: Postwar existential angst?
Bashir: Alien planetary conquest by cheesy crust?
All: ...........??
Bashir: Just sayin'. It's a lot of cheese.
Dax: Are you here to teach me the ways of the Force, Jedi Master?
Intruder: No, I'm not a Jedi. Jedis aren't real.
Dax: Then you must be Queen Amidala.
Intruder: I just said - ...No!
Dax: Don't tell me you a Senator of the Republlc?
Intruder: LOOK, IT'S NOTHING FROM STAR WARS, ALL RIGHT??!!!
Dax: Oh. Are you a Gungan?
Intruder: NO I'M NOT A !@#$% GUNGAN!
Dax: Just sayin', with the mask and all, how do I know you're not a Gungan? It's a reasonable possibility.
Intruder: NO IT'S COMPLETELY UNREASONABLE! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A GUNGAN? I MEAN, HAVE YOU!!!
O'Brien2: Next Monday, Keiko's gonna be pissed.
O'Brien1: What do you mean, why?
O'Brien2: Dunno.
O'Brien1: Well can you help me avoid it?
O'Brien2: Dunno.
O'Brien1: Well, what did she say?
O'Brien2: Dunno.
O'Brien1: WELL WHY DID YOU COME BACK IN TIME TO TELL ME THIS???!!!
O'Brien2: ...Dunno.
O'Brien1: Well, at least we'll always have our artificial memories of solitary confinement.
Both: Sigh.
O'Brien2: So, whiskey?
O'Brien1: You know where the secret flask is.
O'Brien2: Next Monday, Keiko's gonna be pissed.
O'Brien1: What do you mean, why?
O'Brien2: Dunno.
O'Brien1: Well can you help me avoid it?
O'Brien2: Dunno.
O'Brien1: Well, what did she say?
O'Brien2: Dunno.
O'Brien1: WELL WHY DID YOU COME BACK IN TIME TO TELL ME THIS???!!!
O'Brien2: ...Dunno.
O'Brien1: Well, at least we'll always have our artificial memories of solitary confinement.
Both: Sigh.
O'Brien2: So, whiskey?
O'Brien1: You know where the secret flask is.
+1
O'Brien2: Next Monday, Keiko's gonna be pissed.
O'Brien1: What do you mean, why?
O'Brien2: Dunno.
O'Brien1: Well can you help me avoid it?
O'Brien2: Dunno.
O'Brien1: Well, what did she say?
O'Brien2: Dunno.
O'Brien1: WELL WHY DID YOU COME BACK IN TIME TO TELL ME THIS???!!!
O'Brien2: ...Dunno.
O'Brien1: Well, at least we'll always have our artificial memories of solitary confinement.
Both: Sigh.
O'Brien2: So, whiskey?
O'Brien1: You know where the secret flask is.
O'Brien2: "Dunno."
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O'Brien: I'm from the future. Hurry and get back on the Enterprise before they leave. You'd be better off!
*whooshes as the timeline changes*
O'Brien: Don't change your mind! Stay! Riker will blame the sheild modulation failure on you. Keiko leaves you and you will never see Molly again. You end up on Voyager and get stranded in the Delta Quadrant and serve as Neelix's Sous Chef. Stay and you will get to do big things.
*whooshes as the timeline changes*
O'Brien: I'm from the future. Hurry and get back on the Enterprise before they leave. You'd be better off!
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