DS9 Caption Contest 109: A Minor Case of Stark Raving Mad

[Smellincoffee]

Welcome back to another round of....Caption that Jpeg! The week's starting off on a down note, of course, given the passing of Leonard Nimoy, but as he once said about those who had left us, "Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy -- the path of the Dark Side, that is!"

Or was that some other pointy-eared green guy?

Regardless, he will be missed. He left a lot of good behind him for us to remember him by, especially the character of Spock. And speaking of science, here are last week's blinded-by-science winners!

Worf (in command of the Defiant): Perhaps today is a good day to die! Prepare ramming speed!
Dax: Worf, we're not even in a battle. That's the Rio Grande and we're doing a scientific mission.
Worf: Science is without honor! RAMMING SPEED!

Bashir: "Trust me: pouring Denevan scotch into your coffee is a very precise procedure."

``It says it's Pioneer 14 and it was looking for a ... Vejur?''

COMPUTER VOICE: 'Smoking is not permitted on this deck'

KEIKO: Those had better be healthy selections, Miles! Remember your diet!!!!!
O'BRIEN: God. She's everywhere.

MARTOK (on comm): "What is it Sisko?"
SISKO: "Sorry to bother you General, I need just a moment of your time. By the way, do you mind if I smoke?"

Because you can't have an ensemble cast without a fantastic four...

It was a special day on DS9 when Lt. Johnny Storm reported for duty.

And now, this week's entries, exploring the thin line between madness and the spatial anomaly of the week!

 

[Bad Thoughts]

The first time in a long time I didn't make it into the winners circle. Nonetheless, thanks for the ride, Smellingcoffee!

Benny Russell: Don't you understand? Spock is real! I created him, and he's real.

Joran, masked: Jadzia, there's a poster in the DS9 forum who calls himself Bad Thoughts. He keeps saying nasty things about the actress that plays you. Let me kill him!
Jadzia: If you do,I'll be held responsible.
Joran: The results of your deportation hearing were inconclusive.

 

[Finn]

Uniformed Miles: I'm from the future. Just stay in bed today. Don't ask

Pajamas Miles: Why don't you go back to before Fairpoint and tell me to keep that job in Dublin?

 

[JirinPanthosa]

DUKAT: WHAT'S THAT KIRA? YOU THINK I LOOK HOT IN GRAY! I KNEW IT! I KNEEEEWWW ITTT!!!

WEYOUN: So this is really believable and convincing, right? Like, if you really were a Dominion agent I'd start every meeting by fawning over you and offering you breakfast.
BASHIR: No!
WEYOUN: Well, then say I would do! Cause you would know right?
BASHIR: Why would I know that?
WEYOUN: Oh come now Doctor, don't play games with me, we are good friends! Right, eh, right?
BASHIR: Okay, Sloan? Now you're just embarrassing yourself.

ARMIN SHIMMERMAN: Time of death, 4:53. Cause, overacting.

DAX: Wait, they almost lynched me because Kurzon supposedly sent a message to the rebels but being a serial killer is okay?

O'BRIEN: Yeah, I cloned myself so you could be kind of a similacrum for all the horrible stuff that happens to me in a week. Hope it works. Enjoy!

 

[Nerys Myk]

OBRIEN: So, you're saying I shouldn't marry Keiko or transfer off the Enterprise? Why?

FUTURE O'BRIEN: Trust me, it's for the best

 

[DeepSpaceWine]

"Dammit! You made him laugh to death!"

Dax: "... I'm not Neve Campbell."

O'Brien 1: "Uh-oh. This can't be good. There's two of us."
O'Brien 2: "Right, which must mean this will be a doubly bad O'Brien-Must-Suffer Episode."
O'Brien 1: (sigh) "This never happened on the Enterprise."

 

[fonzob1]

"Stop! I'm not a Trill host! I'm not a Trill host!"

"Just trust me...bet on the Red Sox this year."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Uniformed O'Brien: "Don't tell me you've never done it with your mirror universe double before. Angry sex is the best."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Shimmerman: Sorry,he's never seen me without make up before.

 

[Hutchy01]

Garak's was certainly enjoying this meeting with Julian!

Bashir: My that's a big one! (Dirty Harry anyone?)

Rule of acquisition 25: Always pretend to be a doctor while robbing people

Alien: What do you want ... we ran out of money this week.

What the hell did I do yesterday?!

 

[kirkfan]

Garak: Quark! You replaced my Yamok Sauce with motor-oil!

Bashir: This time I ordered Gagh not scones! Doesn't anyone ever listen to me?

Shimermann: I told you these croissants looked at least two days old.

<Julian's Voice>: How do you like my disguise, Jadzia?

Jadzia: Who are you supposed to be?

Julian: Don't you recognize me? I am the enemy of all Indians, pale face!

Jadzia: I don't think you got that right...

Miles: Who are you supposed to be?

Holo-Miles: I am a holographic simulation of yourself. See that's my mobile emitter.


Miles: Mobile emitter?

Holo-Miles: The doctor came back from the delta quadrant. The bad news for you is that he's replacing all starfleet personnel with holograms.

Miles: But...

Holo-Miles: Sorry...

 

[Ithekro]

Garak: Quark! You replaced my Yamok Sauce with motor-oil!

Quark: Yeah, so?

Garak: I demand seconds!

 

[Rat Boy]

Garak making fun of Dukat's ass sitting on a spike came back and...bit him in the ass.

Weyoun: "Could we hurry this up? I have an appointment with Fish Mooney in a few minutes."

Shimmeran: "Even Avery's getting tired of the dress color debate, Internet."

Dax wasn't a fan of the Orlesian ball sequence from Dragon Age: Inquisition, either.

Pajama O'Brien: "How come we can get away with this violating the Temporal Prime Directive thing here but whenever we tried it on the Enterprise they kept threatening the lot of us with court martial?"

 

[Smellincoffee]

"Cold cuts are a dish best served cold. Mainly for health reasons. WOOOOO!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Elim "Icky" Garak: "Get some cold cuts, get some cold cuts, whoooooooooooooo!"

 

[LeadHead]

Dukat: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Weyoun: Here's the offer, you betray the Federation and-

Bashir: Deal.

Weyoun: I haven't finished making the offer yet.

Bashir: Too late, changed my mind. Bashir to Defiant, one to beam up.

Rosoff: So THAT's where I left the banana peel.

Masked Figure: I know what you did last summer.

Dax: You're going to have to be waaaaaay more specific than that.

Uniform O'Brien: It's your kids, Miles! Something's gotta be done about your kids!

Pajama O'Brien: What? What happens?

Uniform O'Brien: Nothing! They're completely well adjusted and successful! So boring!

 

[T'Girl]

Hologram: "So you could have any fantasy possible appear on your bed, and you picked ... yourself?

 

[Hutchy01]

Hologram: "So you could have any fantasy possible appear on your bed, and you picked ... yourself?

He's heard people telling him 'to boldly go f**k himself' so much he felt it was worth a try!

 

[Ithekro]

Hologram: "So you could have any fantasy possible appear on your bed, and you picked ... yourself?

He's heard people telling him 'to boldly go f**k himself' so much he felt it was worth a try!

Computer is just literal when he said he wanted to be alone by himself.

 

[kirkfan]

Garak: That's some red hot chilly pepper! That terran cuisine is not so bad after all!

Weyoun: So, how do you like my cooking.
Julian: That's disgusting.
Weyoun: I don't understand. I for one find that dish perfectly acceptable.
Julian: Well, considering that you have no sense of taste and are immune to most poisons, you'll excuse me if I don't find that particularly reassuring!