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DS9 Caption Contest #10: Everyone is Welcome at Quarks!

Excuse me, no offense guys, but if you wouldn't mind moving the discussions about this to a discussion thread...
 
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Quark: "About Vulcan males...they're bifurcated."

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Worf(o.s.): "BEHOLD!"

Bashir: "Oh...god!

Dax: "You can put it away now, Worf."

Morn: "At least it's not bifurcated."

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Worf: "Here's to threads about my penis!"
 
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After Quark had read the Twighlight Saga, he was obsessed with necks.


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Jem Hadar: Oh, now look at that, you spilled Kanar on your uniform. *wets his fingers with spit* Don´t worry we have you cleaned up in no time.
Quark: I´ll get a wet cloth!




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Worf: Q... Qua... What does it say? I forgot my glasses!


TerokNor
 
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Quark: "No, I don't know where your brother, the Grinch, went."


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When someone spilled Viagra into DS9's water supply, at least several crew members weren't complaining.
 
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Siddig: "Get it? Ah come on, Terry; Colm and Michael thought it was hilarious."

Ferrell: "Oh kill me now."

Moore (off camera): "Okay!"
 
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Worf: Refill please.

Quark: That'll be 2 slips of latinum.

Worf: But refills are free!

Quark: No they're not.

Worf: LOOK!

Quark: That's not a binding contract.
 
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Quark (whispering): "Morn, your dandruff has gotten out of control lately. But don't worry, I have some Head & Shoulders I can sell you for only a few credits over cost. You in?"


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Quark: "Good. I'm glad Dorothy and the Wizard are taking off. They've really overstayed their welcome."


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Damar: "Can't a man get a decent haircut around here?"
 
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SHIMMERMAN: I hear B&B have a show lined up to replace Voyager. You should audition for the part of "Mayweather", if you're interested in a speaking role.
 
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Worf: "Why am I not surprised this refill is without honor...it's not only cost-free; it's also taste-free, calorie-free, and liquid-free..."
 
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Shimmerman: SO then they started talking about having Michael Dorn join the cast. But I don't think that'll ever happen.
 
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QUARK: "I hear-tell you seem to think you'll get the last line in the series. You might have considered shutting up for a change; they say they're giving it to me instead, because you chew the scenery more than Shatner."

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The nightmares of "Profit and Lace" would not let him go. No matter how hard he tried, Armin Shimerman simply couldn't bring himself to break free of his tortuous trance, and indeed, as the others tilted their heads, he remained frozen. Dead inside.

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JEM'HADAR: "That's it, filthy scum. You and me, right now. And I hope for your sake you've got a good last line in mind."
DAMAR: "Keep... uh... keep... this is tough."

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Colm Meaney stepped onto the set, his eyes still a bit visibly wet. There, he saw several of his fellow cast members and even an array of extras. Their faces told him everything he needed to know: their reaction to reading the script for yet another 'O'Brien must suffer' episode was much more lighthearted than his own. Frustrated, Meaney only managed a grimace, as he prepared to get the shit beaten out of him once again...

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WORF: "A Klingon Warrior sees no honor in decaf!"
 
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Jadzia: Awww...don't worry, Julian. Who knows? Maybe my next host will hit it off with you quite nicely!

Julian: Dear me, dear me...she ENJOYS driving stakes through my heart, doesn't she?

Jadzia: Maybe you'll find her--

Julian: Assuming it is a her--and that I'm still young enough to care about her feelings, by then...

Jadzia: Maybe you'll find her even more to your liking....

Julian: Hmph. Fat chance....

Jadzia: (smirks at audience) I try to cheer him up...
 
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