Contest: ENTER DS9 CapCon 145: The Dominion Strikes Back
- Thread starter Smellincoffee
- Start date
I did a silly sequence:
Just look at this smile. To get your teeth as white as mine, just call Dukat's Whitening Corps on 555-TEROK-NOR and ask for "the big doofus in the prefect's office". You won't regret it. (please note: distance fees apply when calling the Bajoran system).
DUKAT: Listen to me very carefully, Weyoun, you may laugh this off as a prank but whoever this is, they're a talented and subversive holoprogrammer, probably one of my enemies in the Obsidian Order. It's a conspiracy against me, and I want them found! When they are, I'm going to insert Sisko's baseball somewhere they'll sincerely regret it. Mark my words.
WEYOUN: It's a credit to Cardassian Intelligence that Dukat found out it was me, but now we have a very delicate, very painful situation. I'll show you. You're going to need to pull firmly but gently. I'll count down from five. Victory is life.
Just look at this smile. To get your teeth as white as mine, just call Dukat's Whitening Corps on 555-TEROK-NOR and ask for "the big doofus in the prefect's office". You won't regret it. (please note: distance fees apply when calling the Bajoran system).
DUKAT: Listen to me very carefully, Weyoun, you may laugh this off as a prank but whoever this is, they're a talented and subversive holoprogrammer, probably one of my enemies in the Obsidian Order. It's a conspiracy against me, and I want them found! When they are, I'm going to insert Sisko's baseball somewhere they'll sincerely regret it. Mark my words.
WEYOUN: It's a credit to Cardassian Intelligence that Dukat found out it was me, but now we have a very delicate, very painful situation. I'll show you. You're going to need to pull firmly but gently. I'll count down from five. Victory is life.
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Dukat: ... And together, we'll make Cardassia great again!
Cardassian 1: Well this isn't going to end well.
Dukat: ... Massive Human deportations! It's going to be great!
Cardassian 2: How is he in charge if he lost the popular vote?
Dukat: ... A massive wall around our solar system, and the Klingons are going to pay for it!
Cardassian 3: And how did everyone forget his "grab them by the Pah" statement?
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In retrospect, it was probably not a good idea to charge into the room and yell, "Stick 'em up!" while Odo was taking his nap.
Dukat: "''Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him-"
Weyoun: "Uh, you do know that's a baseball, right?"
Dukat *sighs*: "Weyoun, do you know what the word "prop" means?"
Cardassian Left: "Nice picture qaulity."
Cardassian Right: "Yeah."
Dukat: "And so we will be entering into a large-scale war against..."
Cardassian Left: "Wait a second -- is that one of those new 14k ultra high-definition trilithium plasma screens?"
Cardassian Right: "I think so."
Cardassian Left: "I can't really tell the difference between it and a 13k high-definition trilithium plasma screen."
Cardassian Right: "Hum, come to think of it, neither can I."
Cardassian Left: "Well, it hardly seems worth it now that I look at, does it?"
Dukat: "Dukat out."
Cardassian Right: "Oh good, he finally shut up. Now we can talk about the real issues, like: why are there blue lights around it?"
Dukat: There is no Dominion fleet massing in orbit around Cardassia Prime. Nothing to see here, move along.
Cardassian on the left (whispering): "Hey, what do you wanna bet if we actually went in there, we'd find a curtain with some dweeb behind it?"
New contest up tomorrow!