Contest: ENTER DS9 CapCon 140: ...well, this is awkward.
- Thread starter Smellincoffee
- Start date
O'Brien: You have no idea what it's like to spend twenty years in a prison in your mind.
Kira: Oh I don't know, was it anything like listening to you talk about the Alamo?
odo : we prefer the term life partner
ODO: Wrap it up, Bashir. I've got a Cease and Desist order from Ian Fleming's lawyers
Weyoun: An exciting meal has been ruined by the presence of this... LIQUID FILTH!
Sisko: We call him Odo.
Weyoun: An exciting meal has been ruined by the presence of this... LIQUID FILTH!
LCARS Maury: Computer analysis determined that was a lie.
Dukat: The changlings are hilarious. Slish, slosh. If it weren't for the Jem Hedar we'd only need a mop.
Weyoun: Oh, I'm so glad we've had this little after work drink or ten. So much to look forward to in your next performance evaluation.
Sisko: Whiskey, neat. What part of that made you want to add ice?
Valkyie, offscreen: Yeah, this isn't the Sto-Vo-Kor you were looking for. This is the Valhalla original. Prepare to be thrown to the Fire Giants!
She looks like she's dressed like a Night Elf.
Thanks for the win!
Dax: "I am Jadzia of the house of Martok. Your insult to my honour will not go unavenged. Blood wiill be spilled this night. Grrrr! Arrggh!"
Worf: "This is a battle to the death, Jadzia. Not the end of Buffy the Vampire Slayer..."
Kira: "This is getting us nowhere. I talked to Keiko, and she suggested that we just have it off."
O'Brien: "Yeah, that's a good... wait... what?"
Kira: "Just speak candidly about the problems that we are obviously having."
O'Brien: "You mean, 'have it out'."
Kira: "That's disgusting."
O'Brien: "What?"
Kira: "On Bajor, 'Have it out' is a euphemism for sex."
O'Brien: "Well on Earth, 'Have it off' is..."
Kira: "Oh Prophets! This is like talking to Dax. At least with her I know everything she says is an innuendo."
Odo: "Hold it right there, Doctor."
Bashir: "Hey! We were just getting to the good bit. Where I use my charm, power, and wealth to..."
Odo: "'Trumping' women, even holographic women is a crime."
Sisko: "Old man, is that you?"
Quark: "A bodyswap fantasy? How delightfully perverse, Captain. You've given me an idea for a holosuite program. It'll take a little R&D to get it working right but..."
Sisko: "Forget I said anything, Quark."
Sisko: "You're sure you're not drinking Weyoun? Once Dukat starts pontificating, it helps if you're so rat-arsed that you don't care."
Dax: "I am Jadzia of the house of Martok. Your insult to my honour will not go unavenged. Blood wiill be spilled this night. Grrrr! Arrggh!"
Worf: "This is a battle to the death, Jadzia. Not the end of Buffy the Vampire Slayer..."
Kira: "This is getting us nowhere. I talked to Keiko, and she suggested that we just have it off."
O'Brien: "Yeah, that's a good... wait... what?"
Kira: "Just speak candidly about the problems that we are obviously having."
O'Brien: "You mean, 'have it out'."
Kira: "That's disgusting."
O'Brien: "What?"
Kira: "On Bajor, 'Have it out' is a euphemism for sex."
O'Brien: "Well on Earth, 'Have it off' is..."
Kira: "Oh Prophets! This is like talking to Dax. At least with her I know everything she says is an innuendo."
Odo: "Hold it right there, Doctor."
Bashir: "Hey! We were just getting to the good bit. Where I use my charm, power, and wealth to..."
Odo: "'Trumping' women, even holographic women is a crime."
Sisko: "Old man, is that you?"
Quark: "A bodyswap fantasy? How delightfully perverse, Captain. You've given me an idea for a holosuite program. It'll take a little R&D to get it working right but..."
Sisko: "Forget I said anything, Quark."
Sisko: "You're sure you're not drinking Weyoun? Once Dukat starts pontificating, it helps if you're so rat-arsed that you don't care."
Both (in unison): "You shop here, too?"
You. Left. The. Lid. Up. Again.
It's either that or a seat soaked in slightly-used Guiness. Take your pick.
You left the lid up, great job!
And Julian said I couldn't charm a Jem'Hadar to a White lockbox.
Jadzia: I pay tribute to Kor, Dahar Master of the Klingon Empire, whose greatest achievements include... uh... well...
Kira: Did you add this console to the runabout?
O'Brien: Yeah, and moved the transporter further back. It'll cut down on the number of "accidental" beam outs.
Bashir: Odo, I have a great idea! Shapeshift into a bird and fly away!
Sisko: Did you hear about the new Rule of Acquisition?
Quark: Rule 286?
Sisko: Yes, it goes like this: NEVER PISS OFF THE SISKO!
Sisko: Dukat, I thought it would be nice for us to have a drink. After all, we will soon be at war and I shall humiliate the both of you. Bottoms up!
WOMAN: "Who's your friend, Julian?"
BASHIR: "Odo, what are you doing?"
ODO: "Sticking my nose into your business. You?"
BASHIR: "I am trying to have a nice evening with this young lady. Now could you get out of here and leave us alone? Please?"
ODO: "All right, all right. I just thought you'd like to know that Ensign Kimmelwitz came through the procedure okay. They got all of of the spinal parasite..."
BASHIR: "Hold it! When did this happen??"
ODO: "Four hours ago. He's resting comfortably-"
BASHIR: "And nobody told me?"
ODO: "We didn't think it worth bothering you earlier. Anyway, Quark told me to tell you, and I quote, "There's nothing to this surgery business. All a guy needs is a knife, a bottle of anesthetic, and a sign for the front door."
BASHIR: "Quark?!! Sorry, (quick peck on her cheek), got to go. (leaves the car in a hurry)
ODO: (oozes into the car after a quick look over his shoulder) "Good. Now where were we?"
WOMAN: "Did that really happen?"
ODO: "No, but by the time he figures that out, it'll be too late. Holodeck, initiate security override Odo Three Omega Phi Seventeen Omicron. (morphs into a tux) Well, shall we?"
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