Dreadnought Dominion

[YJAGG]

For the story itself...how can you have the captain's log stating the main actor was away while his ship was refitted for 18 months and he was, supposedly, judged ''physically, mentally and EMOTIONALLY fit'' before reassuming command, but everything that happens afterward (and even the conversation he has on the shuttlecraft) suggests that on the contrary he is NOT?

I noticed that too, but as is often the case in any production (pro or amateur), the story can contradict both itself and the cannon as a whole.

In the Next Gen universe Picard was said to be fit for duty and we saw him go all Ahab on the Borg, clearly he had some issues...

 

[Karzak]

For the story itself...how can you have the captain's log stating the main actor was away while his ship was refitted for 18 months and he was, supposedly, judged ''physically, mentally and EMOTIONALLY fit'' before reassuming command, but everything that happens afterward (and even the conversation he has on the shuttlecraft) suggests that on the contrary he is NOT?

I noticed that too, but as is often the case in any production (pro or amateur), the story can contradict both itself and the cannon as a whole.

In the Next Gen universe Picard was said to be fit for duty and we saw him go all Ahab on the Borg, clearly he had some issues...

Ummm... in First Contact, Starfleet specifically tells Picard "We don't need your help" when the fleet runs off to face the Borg, because if they did invite Picard along...

PICARD:
Let's just say that Starfleet has every confidence in the Enterprise and her crew, they're just not sure about her captain. They believe that a man who was once captured and assimilated by the Borg should not be put in a situation where he would face them again. To do so would introduce an unstable element to a critical situation.

That Picard gets involved is purely the manufacturing of the story and plot. That he goes "all Ahab" is likewise built in by this previous scene/dialogue.

That's not the script contradicting itself, that's a script that knows how to use a smoking gun.

Never mind that Picard was deemed perfectly fit for duty for the preceding feature film and the four TV seasons before it.

 

[Maurice]

Anyone who wants a nice primer on film editing should read Walter Murch's In the Blink of An Eye, which is not so much a book about the mechanics of cutting but about the art of editing. Murch makes the case—which I happen to agree with—that every editor makes a priority list for a film and their editorial decisions are shaped it. Some editors put Continuity at the top (as the actor in the same position, etc.), whereas others (like me) put Emotion, Tempo, and Editing Rhythm above Shot Continuity. How you cut is shaped by your priorities, and one person's "this is as good as it gets" doesn't hold true for someone with differing priorities, and vice versa.

 

[Wingsley]

Some of the acoustics are lacking, but I was wondering: did any of the characters in this little webisode ever refer to the dreadnought as the Starship Dominion? If they did, I couldn't make it out.

Bridge and other sets are really good reproductions. Uniforms look pretty good. Love that badge design! Lighting looks really good.

The computer-generated FX look jerky. The acoustics leave quite a bit to be desired. Why did we hear a TNG-style door chime in the captain's quarters, and not the TOS-style "buzzzzzzzz"?

The notion of a "dreadnought" is interesting, but it begs the question: if we're assuming the Federation employs battleships like FJ's Federation-class ships, why would we assume they would be used as explorers? And wouldn't a newly refit Federation starship, restored to active duty, be given a new assignment? The commodore and crew don't seem to define themselves very clearly in this webisode, as Kirk, Spock and others did in "The Corbomite Maneuver" and Picard did in "Encounter at Farpoint".

Since this little webisode was essentially a test run, maybe the Dominion was simply going out on its "shakedown cruise". Maybe we could think of it as episode zero. For episode one, we need to see the sound issues addressed, and in the STAR TREK tradition, we need the characters, especially the central ones, introduced more clearly. And we need to see the Starship Dominion presented to us as such, and hear the characters regard the Dominion as a ship of the fleet, restored to service and being sent on a purposeful mission by Starfleet Command.

Another interesting thought: we have seen flag officers in command of other starships before (Wesley) and even take command of the Enterprise (Decker, Stocker, Mendez), but the implication was always that the commodore had a special command. (Wesley, for instance, commanded a task force). What special role does Commodore Grissom play? He should be more than just a ship's captain; otherwise, he'd only be a captain.

And what makes Dominion different than any of the fan-flims set on reproductions of the Constitution-class vessel seen in TOS? If Dominion is being presented as simply another heavy-duty starship-of-the-line, will the characters and their duties also be presented accordingly? (Like just another Federation starship like the Enterprise, with all the same limitations and vulnerabilities, but with a third nacelle.)

 

[Wingsley]

I had an idea what I was in for during the opening title sequence, featuring no less than 9 actors\supposedly ''main'' characters. In my opinion, Starship Exeter and the first 3 webisodes of Starship Farragut did this right, limiting their stories and focus on less than a handful of characters, everybody else should either be window dressing or say lines\get a moment to shine only if it helps the story along. Ideally these bit players should be distinct from everybody else. Dr Azzato from Exeter is a great example of this.

< snip >

If this were a real Star Trek story, some outside alien disease, artifact or other would have provoqued the Commodore's feelings of deep-seated (and unmentioned?) shame and guilt that he would have needed to overcome, but this episode mainly tells you the commodore should have gone more often to see his mental health professional during his sabbatical...

By the way, it might have helped to have either a line of dialogue or some sort of visual cue somewhere in the episode to explain to those of us, like myself, who fail to see the difference between a regular starship and a ''dreadnought'', apart from the 3rd nacelle...

I do not have a problem with Commodore Grissom having doubts about getting back in the saddle after surviving a catastrophic mission. If Starfleet kept him in the same command for 18 months while the ship had to be rebuilt, rather than re-assigning him, they must want him to resume his command. That speaks clearly enough. What I don't get is where he was for those 18 months. If he's hands-on, he should have been assigned to oversee the refit of his ship, just as Captain Archer was deeply involved with Tucker on the entire NX project. Showing him returning Dominion after being away for 18 months seemed a little odd.

I agree with Bixby about the ensemble cast and endlessly rolling intro credits. Fans tend to forget that TOS was originally going to focus on William Shatner as Captain Kirk; the other characters were simply supporting roles in the beginning.

I disagree with Bixby on what was "haunting" the commodore. It doesn't need to be any unusual external force that is driving him. This "Haunted" webisode reminded me a little of the 1958 Clark Gable movie "Run Silent Run Deep" in which the commander of a World War II US submarine becomes obsessed with a Japanese submarine that is tailing him. Sometimes, the trauma of combat can cause a soldier to feel guilt. I thought this was a credible plot.

I do agree on the "dreadnought" part; see my previously stated concerns upthread.

 

[Maurice]

As to the VFX, the choppiness makes we wonder if they're being rendered out at a frame rate which mismatches the project. It kinda looks like 24fps being dropped into a 29.97fps project.

 

[wtriker1701]

Sorry Randy, if I've mistaken your position regarding this project.

Sadly, I think many here forget that these are fan films.

But offering an outing for others to watch and comment on had been the goal of Dreadnought Dominion's crew, hadn't it? We offer our opinion and help regarding future installments - and sometimes even agree to disagree, depending on where we come from and which skills each of us presents/has.

So one should rather see this as an open discussion about possible amends of one's brain child. If we just say "Hooray, thanks for giving it to the world"... that is how fan films should be regarded? I think not.

So Randy, have you asked voluntarily for the editing job on this or have they called you to ask, if you could jump in? Or was it a team effort all along the way?

And, please, don't see critique as an offense but as a learning curve.

Greetings from Platjenwerbe, Germany
Per

EDIT: The Vice Admiral above me doesn't live on the same planet as me, regarding his skills, behind and besides a camera, in front of a script, or a timeline in his actual and virtual studio equipment... but from an Actor's POV, I'd certainly run around him in circles... ^^

 

[Maurice]

EDIT: The Vice Admiral above me doesn't live on the same planet as me, regarding his skills, behind and besides a camera, in front of a script, or a timeline in his actual and virtual studio equipment... but from an Actor's POV, I'd certainly run around him in circles... ^^

Actors are easily tripped.

 

[Potemkin_Prod]

Sorry Randy, if I've mistaken your position regarding this project.

No worries.

So Randy, have you asked voluntarily for the editing job on this or have they called you to ask, if you could jump in? Or was it a team effort all along the way?

I was not a member of the crew until I became aware that the previous editor was no longer able to edit the footage. I wanted to help, so I stepped up and offered to help. In particular, I wanted to work with this sort of footage (which is far superior than Potemkin's camera can deliver). I edited together an episode, and made suggestions (some of which were accepted, some of which were rejected), got some of Potemkin's other post production folks involved. I am well aware of its short-comings as are its production crew.

As far as the sound goes, I delivered an edit with the sound completely intact (in fact, it was reviewed by several others). I did not touch the audio files in any way. I do know that SFX were added afterwards, but I don't know why the sound is so wonky.

I went and reviewed both the YouTube and Vimeo version, and I think there may have been a glitch at YT. I've suggested that they reupload the video to YouTube to see if that corrects the problems.

I have no connection to DD or FF except I did this as a favor. All I ask is that every one making comments on this and any other fan film take this into consideration: Making a fan film is a constant learning experience for its cast and crew. But if you keep dousing water on their garden, it's not going to grow. It's just going to die out.

 

[Maurice]

On the other hand, too many fanfilms get a pass because people are so quick to heap praise on them that the makers get deluded into thinking bad work is good, and as such many of them keep making the same easily fixed mistakes over and over again.

As (the otherwise detestable) Terrance Fletcher says in Whiplash, "There are no two words in the English language more harmful than 'good job'."

 

[Wingsley]

Didn't Jimm and Josh Johnson of STARSHIP EXETER give an interview some years back about their vision for making a STAR TREK fan film, and how they felt that someone wanting to do such a project should build their sets, put something together, and making a first effort to see how it works so they can learn from it and make a better one the next time?

There was quite an improvement between "The Savage Empire" and "The Tressaurian Intersection".

 

[Maurice]

I dunno if that was advice so much as how they did it. Jimm did the first episode in a very cheap fashion just to get it made, building basically one starship corridor and some Andorian tunnel sets, setting the rest of the film outdoors. I think that's sensible because you can get too lost in set building instead of actually making a movie. I made that mistake with my first short subject.

 

[Bixby]

A second short film by this group was released.
Though it's identified as episode 102 it actually takes place chronologically before the other one:

[yt]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXSWTlcaEbQ&list=PL80FEA9A3E177FC8B&index=110[/yt]

 

[Maurice]

Oh goody. It starts off with 45 seconds of sighing, then the usual crutch of an lengthy confessional Admiral briefing. Then it's 8.5 minutes of people sitting around a table. How by-the-numbers-fanfilm can you get?

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

I hate to say it, but there's no story here. There's no conflict. There's nothing at stake. It's all introduction of character after character, and we're told several times so and so is this or that every time some one new enters the conversation.

Hanging out at a bar can be used to tell interesting stories, as a frame to tell other, more engaging stories (see "The World's End" in SANDMAN or even CHEERS). Here it's just ... well, I dunno what's the point. It doesn't move us to one thing to another. It keeps us stationary in one place.

 

[Bixby]

Do people who just meet actually talk to each other like this?

That ''Vulcan doctor'' is especially annoying and intrusive...

 

[Karzak]

Honestly, among the many, many things that could be said about this, the first thing that leapt at me was "Why on earth is the Vulcan a counselor?"

 

[Bixby]

Again with a ship having a psychologist on board...don't the creative teams realize how much of a dramatic dead end that is?
A story is so much more compelling when the central CHARACTER struggles through his debilitating emotional conflict, finally to overcome it... by HIMSELF.

Having an unrelated character giving away the solution to the hero is the easy way out. It is also boring!

 

[YJAGG]

Honestly, among the many, many things that could be said about this, the first thing that leapt at me was "Why on earth is the Vulcan a counselor?"

how can she "understand" how someone feels

 

[DCR]

Honestly, among the many, many things that could be said about this, the first thing that leapt at me was "Why on earth is the Vulcan a counselor?"

how can she "understand" how someone feels

Mind Meld.