Diva Demands

[K'Ehleyr]

...inspired by a conversation "elsewhere" (J)

You are a total 'Superstar'; adored, wanted, needed, swooned upon.

You are quite aware (well people have convinced you) that you are totally fabulous, gorgeous and immensely talented.

You have a gig at a 'money is no object' affair and you can command anything you require.

What would you demand? How big is your "Diva"?

I don't think my Diva is big enough... I'd just demand;

Fresh bed linen.
Lillies ~ lots of lillies.
Very chilled pink champagne ~ lots of.
A sultry spanish guitarist in the corner.
A cute shetland pony to bring me breakfast.
All the food and drink must be the same colour.

That's to start with...

What would you demand...

 

[Jenee]

I want an open kitchen throughout the day - no scheduled mealtimes for me. Just whenever I feel like it.

and a pool - heated indoor pool, but the ceiling can open when I want it.

and a personal jet to take me wherever I want to go.

...

more to follow

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Privacy.

 

[auntiehill]

Well, they would have to put me up in a 5 star luxury suite. There would have to be several pillows--all of varying softness--on the king size bed. There would have to be a large shower in the suite and a large screen TV. I would also demand absolute privacy--the maid can never knock on my door. I would also require at least six extra fluffy towels, and fresh cut flowers in my room. There would have to be a mini-fridge stocked with Dr. Pepper and bottled water.

There would also have to be a treadmill in the room, so I wouldn't have to be seen exercising by the general public.

I'd also have to be picked up and driven to and from said "gig" by a Towncar. Limos are hard to climb in and out of in any dignified fashion.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Oh pillows and towels... hmmmm

 

[6079SmithW]

What are my demands? I demand cookies!

 

[K'Ehleyr]

What are my demands? I demand cookies!

cookies are good! But aim a little higher ~ you are Diva!

 

[Jenee]

Right. Brownies.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Everything must be in tiki style. Bed must be massive and white cotton everything.

I want 2 personal drivers and a lime green hummer, on call 24/7.

Fresh tropical fruit and a huge variety of exotic salads must be available at all times.

 

[trekkiedane]

Privacy.

That, most of all!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Solid facts. What I demand is solid facts.

NO, wait a minute. I *don't* demand solid facts. What I demand is a total ABSENCE of solid facts. I demand that I may or may not be Vroomfondel...

 

[Goji]

That everyone not on my "Non-Morons" list leave me the fuck alone. FOREVER.

Also, muffins. Fresh ones.

 

[scotpens]

Absolutely no brown M&Ms!

 

[Captain Ice]

a bathroom you could play baseball in. Rose petals in my bathwater. Dinner would be medium rare prime rib at least 3 nights a week. Milkshakes from MacAllister's in Phoenix no matter where I am...

Oh, and the big one. Omelets for breakfast...in bed. With OJ and coffee.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

You people are very undemanding.

Ponies for all!

 

[Mary Ann]

A cute shetland pony to bring me breakfast.

Along those lines, I'd demand 2 Shetland Sheepdogs, my favourite doggie breed.

On top of all the neat things already mentioned, I'd demand:

--an on-call chiropractor and a masseuse.

--a stash of hand-dyed, hand-spun sock yarn with required needles and notions.

--at least 2 bookcases of a selection of fiction and non-fiction books of all genres.

--a large selection of herbal teas.

--Bailey's in every flavour variety.

--a huge private balcony or roof terrace.

 

[JarodRussell]

Women, everywhere. Women in the bathtub, women in the whirlpool, women in the bed, women bringing me breakfast, women, women, women...

 

[Mary Ann]

^Are you sure you don't wish to be a wee bit more specific about these women, or are you genuinely not fussy?

 

[K'Ehleyr]

A cute shetland pony to bring me breakfast.

Along those lines, I'd demand 2 Shetland Sheepdogs, my favourite doggie breed.

On top of all the neat things already mentioned, I'd demand:

--an on-call chiropractor and a masseuse.

--a stash of hand-dyed, hand-spun sock yarn with required needles and notions.

--at least 2 bookcases of a selection of fiction and non-fiction books of all genres.

--a large selection of herbal teas.

--Bailey's in every flavour variety.

--a huge private balcony or roof terrace.

Ooooh a masseuse with scented oils...

Scented candles, lots of candles.

A huge four poster bed draped with white floaty voile (or whatever it's called)

A proper butler ~ think Jeeves, to attend to my every wish.

Gigalo martinis prepared by my own handsome barman.

A jacuzzi (with the petals )

Oh and macloudt, you've reminded me for a terrace as well and an infinity pool

Women, everywhere. Women in the bathtub, women in the whirlpool, women in the bed, women bringing me breakfast, women, women, women...

^Are you sure you don't wish to be a wee bit more specific about these women, or are you genuinely not fussy?

 

[Holdfast]

What would you demand? How big is your "Diva"?

I'm already a Diva (Divo...)

So far today, I've turned down a very generous (and kind) job offer from out of the blue because it would have meant going back to working full-time, and later I insisted the dry-cleaners hand-press the lapels of a suit I handed in for cleaning in a very particular way.

I dread to think how unbelievably fussy I will potentially become with more time. Well, I say "dread". I mean "look forward to finding out".