Did you ever wonder if Naomi was Caretaker's Baby?

[Guy Gardener]

In all seriousness, Banjoman said that he was going to make a baby and then went to a hell of a lot of effort not to make a baby. I know some guys have trouble getting it up, and some guys shoot blanks, and some guys shoot blanks into the wrong entrances and... Well there's a myriad of problems with trying to make baby if you're an 80 pound lump of sporositian coral, but what if there "no problems" and everything went exactly as planned?

Caretaker knocked someone up, and it might have been Sam.

(Gods breath, I swear sometimes, that they just rewrote Deliverance.)

 

[Kai Winn]

Did you believe the elderly DSK, small, slowly moving, raped that massive black chambermaid half his age? There you are.

 

[bbailey861]

Both these posts kill me!!! But seriously, in both cases, no.

 

[Sandoval]

When you think about it he is ultimately just an elderly man bringing people from all over the place to his home in order to do the horizontal mambo with them.

Sort of like a space Hugh Hefner.

 

[Guy Gardener]

If Heff was senile.

 

[Sandoval]

Space Heff wasn't senile. Space Heff was just single-mindedly on a mission to impregnate people from new worlds and new civilisations to create a little baybee.

 

[Guy Gardener]

You're mixing up your bios for Caretaker and Kirk surely?

 

[Sandoval]

You're mixing up your bios for Caretaker and Kirk surely?

Kirk wasn't desperate for a littleun surely? Look at the disappointment Merritt Buttlick must've been.

That would put anyone off.

 

[Avon]

she must have destroyed her mother's vagina those hornspikes

 

[Sandoval]

she must have destroyed her mother's vagina those hornspikes

Nope. She was beamed out of the womb.

 

[Guy Gardener]

But how did Sam survive the Pregnancy with out Naomi etching a groove into a tunnel out of the womb with her head ridges? Unless the Doctor toughened her up with strange drugs making the pretty lady almost bullet proof?

Although it's pretty bitchy of Janeway to not use the Bullet proof Ensign because she's perceived as "fragile" even though she is superhumanly not, as week after week the body count rises because of the Captain's insane away missions to forward scientific understanding

 

[The Dominion]

Maybe banjoman was one of Kirk's babies.

 

[Sandoval]

Maybe banjoman was one of Kirk's babies.

Ridiculous suggestion. No son of Kirk would play a banjo.

 

[Kass18]

Haha can't say it ever crossed my mind

 

[Guy Gardener]

One day Kass, you're going to be in a position where there's a baby in your belly and when you tell the father that he is the father, this genius is going to reflexively reply "Are you sure it's mine?" and you're going to have to resist the massive and clinically sane impulse to back hand the bastard in the jaw with the intent to spray his teeth about the room like they were the chief prizes in a lolly scramble. I'm not saying anything bad about you or your special someone, but this is just how the universe predictably unwinds.

Now Sam was drugged, hypnotized and lost three days, whereafter frankly in regards to the Kitarian which we saw in TNG The Game who looked nothing, NOTHING like Naomi, so much so that it's not impossible to assume that everyone on board the ship had had their memories altered also when Caretaker was editing the ships database as to what a Kitarian looked like.

This is how the Cuckoo operates.

The Mommy Birds lay their eggs in other birds nests, then the new born Cuckoo's eat the other young seconds after hatching and wander off smugly proud of how clever they are.

If Caretaker was Naomi's pater, it's more than feasible that Caretaker wanted Naomi to get to earth to fulfil some manifest destiny which in all likeliness was to erect a new homeworld for the Ocampa on top of the razed foundations of whatever is left of Earth by the time she's finished expressing her point of view.

(Neelix said this happened a lot, that Caretaker was randy. It's the reverse of what the Dominion did with Odo and all the other foundlings. So that 80 ships thereabouts carrying his children, all with the impetus that all their bases now belong to him? The Ocampa would only need 80 homeworlds if they breed like Tribbles, and maybe they do?)

Season 8 of Voyager would have been Naomi vs. the Entire Federation, and mark me, she would have had the power to turn wholesale species to the last quarter into fertilizer, if she chose to exercise the powers we've seen these Nacene posses but with an inch of brutality.

 

[The Dominion]

^ I like that theory.

 

[Avon]

wait, all women will definitely end up pregnant now?

 

[Guy Gardener]

If they can they will, because I believe in accidents and carelessness 3000 percent more-so than I do competency and reliability. But that's just the human condition and not anything I'd refer to as singularly or uniquely feminine qualities.

Although if you wake up one morning with three days missing from your event calendar, you're a complete muppet if you don't find a morning after pill immediately, that is... After you've first quickly counted your kidneys.

And that goes 10 fold for the month they lost to the Hirogen occupation of Voyager where they had their memories rewritten to think they were French spies using sex to steal secrets from the enemy... With all those identities and back stories running about in there mid washed noggins the Doctor was bloody duteous to make sure every one kept up with their birth control despite being in their wrong minds.

 

[Kass18]

One day Kass, you're going to be in a position where there's a baby in your belly and when you tell the father that he is the father, this genius is going to reflexively reply "Are you sure it's mine?" and you're going to have to resist the massive and clinically sane impulse to back hand the bastard in the jaw with the intent to spray his teeth about the room like they were the chief prizes in a lolly scramble. I'm not saying anything bad about you or your special someone, but this is just how the universe predictably unwinds.

Now Sam was drugged, hypnotized and lost three days, whereafter frankly in regards to the Kitarian which we saw in TNG The Game who looked nothing, NOTHING like Naomi, so much so that it's not impossible to assume that everyone on board the ship had had their memories altered also when Caretaker was editing the ships database as to what a Kitarian looked like.

This is how the Cuckoo operates.

The Mommy Birds lay their eggs in other birds nests, then the new born Cuckoo's eat the other young seconds after hatching and wander off smugly proud of how clever they are.

If Caretaker was Naomi's pater, it's more than feasible that Caretaker wanted Naomi to get to earth to fulfil some manifest destiny which in all likeliness was to erect a new homeworld for the Ocampa on top of the razed foundations of whatever is left of Earth by the time she's finished expressing her point of view.

(Neelix said this happened a lot, that Caretaker was randy. It's the reverse of what the Dominion did with Odo and all the other foundlings. So that 80 ships thereabouts carrying his children, all with the impetus that all their bases now belong to him? The Ocampa would only need 80 homeworlds if they breed like Tribbles, and maybe they do?)

Season 8 of Voyager would have been Naomi vs. the Entire Federation, and mark me, she would have had the power to turn wholesale species to the last quarter into fertilizer, if she chose to exercise the powers we've seen these Nacene posses but with an inch of brutality.

I may never look at life or Voyager the same way again, such wise theories you impart on us females

 

[Therin of Andor]

Maybe banjoman was one of Kirk's babies.

You must watch "Bastards of Kirk":
http://therinofandor.blogspot.com/2007/10/kirks-bastards-i-accidentally-came.html