Deep Space Nine Caption Contest 99: Major Pain for Quark

[Schistocerca]

Cardassian: What is it major?
Kira: I am just checking the Trek BBS DS9 caption contest and it appears that Schistocerca can't tell my left ear from my right ear!

 

[Nerys Myk]

GARAK: Looks like you've handled a weapon before.

KIRA: Yeah, unlike you losers!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Riker: "Once you go beard, you never go back!"

Kira: "Odowantto!"

 

[Hutchy01]

Frakes: It's Audience bait again this week , I thought we gave Voyager these

Picardo (o/s) : You are my sunshine ...

 

[Rush Limborg]

Kira: Oh, Commander! What is it about you that makes you so irresistible to women--even women like me?

Riker: My guess? The writers.

Quark got ahold of Odo's recreational reading material. Sold it to Kira for a reasonable price.

Worth it.

Kira: ...Shut up--this is my "Mr. Hyde" mode.

Programming holo-Cardassian. Good target practice.

Kira: I think humans have a saying, Odo: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Kira: It's high time I made myself a necklace of Cardassian headspoons. NO MERCY!

 

[Hutchy01]

Odo may be a founder but like all men he just can't keep his eyes on hers

 

[Smellincoffee]

Kira:Today's agenda:
Scowling at Quark
Yelling at Quark
Stalking Promenade
Threatening Quark
Lunch
Arresting Quark
- wait a minute, Odo, I think this is YOUR schedule. I never arrest Quark.

Sisko: This is probably the wrong time for this, but you should consider keeping the ridges, Major.

Riker: Nerys has a booboo? Let Uncle Tom kiss it and make it all better!
(Moments later)
Kira: Kira to the Infirmary; doctor, you may want to wander down here. Tom Riker's crotch now has a booboo from my boots.

Odo: Do you know why they call those LMs?
...it's a long mother. The triple filter stops cancer, but you get a hernia trying to draw in the smoke!
(Off her blank stare)
That sounded funnier when Vic told it.

 

[Rush Limborg]

Riker: Nerys has a booboo? Let Uncle Tom kiss it and make it all better!
(Moments later)
Kira: Kira to the Infirary; doctor, you may want to wander down here. Tom Riker's crotch now has a booboo from my boots.

Bashir: (Over com) Indeed?

Kira: Self-defense.

Bashir: Well, in that case, we have ourselves quite a boob--

Riker: HUH--?!

Bashir: ...oo. Quite a...booboo....

 

[tharpdevenport]

Cardassian: "What are you doing?"

Kira: "It's been over a month and I'm still trying to get the MOD's to pin the thread. I'm writing very cross PM's."

 

[agent1138]

Probably unrelated but I made it anyway.

Wanted to use Ketracel white not even once but couldn't think of a better scenario.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Oyez! Oyez! Contest ends in 24 hours. Prepare for the coming of....THE EMISSARY!